Bulges, Beefcake, Bathing and, uh, Showers!

Time was, I'd do huge long posts on these sort of subjects individually! But there are only so many examples I can bring to the table before new ones are more difficult to unearth (though I try!) During some recent viewings of movie and TV offerings, I've run into bits and pieces of this and that and, rather than hold on to them until I have enough for a specifically themed post, I'm gonna open up my digital hope chest and let everything fall out! You may stop for a gander at whatever piques your interest. I wonder how many of you know our cover boy today? I sure didn't! He wasn't an actor, but the son of a very famous man. You'll note his right hand showing clearly through those flimsy pants, as well as some very low-hanging fruit! LOL

As shown here, he did hobnob with some in the acting profession. He was friendly with Gary Cooper and one of his (five!) wives was actress Faye Emerson. The man in question is Elliott Roosevelt, son of FDR. He had many careers, from military service to politics to documentary production.

I'm going to use the photo of Cooper and Roosevelt to segue into my first photo essay. Cooper is seen here with real-life lover Lupe Velez in 1929's Wolf Song.

For a long time, only publicity pics like this one remained as evidence that there had been a nude swimming scene of Cooper's in the movie. (BTW, get the caption: "Gary likes pipe" -- !!) The sequence had been either pared down or cut out of most prints (and one bio of his I read denied that it had ever been actually placed in the film!) But it was, during the initial release. 

Cooper and two grizzled mountain men come into town and Cooper informs them that he's going to got cleaned up before a local celebration begins that evening. 

The camera catches him sitting on the banks of a nearby river.

No, we can't see anything, but he was naked as the scene was shot. 

This angle shows a little bit more of him as he's shaving.

True to cinematic form, he's only alone for so long before he's interrupted by visitors!

It's the two mountain men, taunting him for taking a bath and explaining to him how they'd never take part in such a thing. 

Eventually, he slides into the water, presumably giving them a shot at his bare body. 

It doesn't go unnoticed! 

The water isn't terribly deep, so Coop has to sort of squat in it as he rinses off. 

The three-time Oscar recipient was in the early part of his career before his looks became secondary to his acting. At this point, his appeal was mostly visual. 

This scene can be viewed in its entirety on YouTube thanks to a contributor who used a print from a library. 

I suspect this gent is more familiar to you? TV's Tarzan, Ron Ely (later host of the game show Face the Music!) In 1981, as Music was ending, he starred in a TV-pilot for a proposed series concerning a special agent called The Seal (as in former Navy Seal, not Sammy, The Way-Out Seal, 1962!)

Parts of the program, most notably near the beginning (gotta hook those fickle TV viewers!), Ely appears shirtless. 

He also showers off in an open-concept shower with large windows. 

If you squint, you may see Gladys Kravitz pressed up against a window in the house behind him, angling for the best view...! Ha ha!

The nozzle on this thing (the shower, I mean!) is really odd - the water comes out in an unusual angle, but I guess it does the job. 

Next, he exits the enclosure and grabs a towel. 

There was a time once when I did entire posts based upon actors wearing towels! 

While he's getting cleaned up, he speaks into a small recording device which helps him figure out how to best achieve his various missions. 

The former vine-swinger (and Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze, 1975) was about 43 at this point.

During production of Tarzan, he was injured so many times and in so many ways that there was once a charted published, which noted all the things he'd undergone!

Later in the movie, he's captured and tossed into a cell wearing only a flimsy robe and shorts. 

The camera gets up close and personal with his legs and feet, so I include those for my readers who enjoy such things. 

Somehow I found myself watching the 1978 David Bowie movie Just a Gigolo, which is off-beat to say the least. But in the middle of it, Bowie is taking a bath in a luxurious mansion. 

As in most movie bath scenes, he isn't alone for long! 

It's Curt Jurgens, owner of the place and the husband of the woman Bowie has just been "visiting" with!

Mr. Jurgens was very good at supplying a sense of menace in his roles. 

And of course a bathtub can seem like quite a place of vulnerability. 

Jurgens uses his walking stick to fetch Bowie a towel. 

This framing gives the illusion that Bowie is awkwardly caught naked in front of the man, but he has the towel on, of course. Bowie is almost the complete antithesis of what I consider desirable in a man, but I know he has had legions of fans over the years, so - completist that I am - he's included here. 

This is Wayne Maunder, a semi-obscure actor who's best known for portraying the title role in the short-lived TV western Custer and who also costarred on Lancer. A later attempt at a series was Chase, in which he costarred with Mitchell Ryan as part of a group of plain clothes police officers. Apologies in advance for the poor quality of the captures, but this rarely-seen show is not available at this time in a cleaner rendition. 

As Maunder and Ryan grab some coffee, we're greeted with the eye-opening sight of Maunder's revealing trousers. 

I'd say it's about time for a digitally-restored DVD release of this show! (Or at least this episode...)

Not sure how many of you will recognize this crowd. This is the principle cast of network TV's most recent daytime soap opera, Beyond the Gates. As a one-time rabid fan of As the World Turns, I tuned into this show at its inception because the matriarch of the core family is played by former ATWT actress Tamara Tunie. 

The patriarch of the family is famous in his own right. It's Clifton Davis of That's My Mama, Amen and Madam Secretary. 

On any given day, depending on the wardrobe, Mr. D can be seen packing, just as he was in his heyday on Mama. 

50 years on, he's still "dressed right" on network TV.

I subscribe to a nostalgia publication called Remind. I laughingly call it my "old man" magazine as I sift through all the vintage photos and memories, then complete the various puzzles in the back while having lunch or lounging by the pool. Imagine the jolt I got when this picture of the band Journey was contained in a recent issue! The quality isn't great, so I went on the hunt for a better version. 

Sweet baby Jesus! Neal Schon at the far left is giving one of the most profound bulges I can ever recall.... 

From here, I went down a rabbit hole of pics in which either he or other members of the group were garbed in hysterically revealing pants. 

As a child of MTV's early days, this is the version of Journey that I knew as a kid. I hadn't ever see them prior to this incarnation.

By that point, the hair of the members (as well as some of their identities) had changed, but Neal's bulges remained, even in leather.

Some of his jeans were put under such immense pressure that a patch was sewn onto the affected area, as in the inset pic above! Rock on! Ha ha!

Look what's washed up now... Anyone know who this is or which movie? It's fairly uncommon. 

This is a pretty fair amount of skin for a 1954 film, but it helps to know that it's Italian-made, so the leeway was a bit less restrictive than in a US studio movie. 

This shipwrecked wayfarer turns out to be...

Kirk Douglas

The movie in question is Ulysses. Here, our mythic hero is cleaned up and given some new duds. But it's not long before he's half-naked again... this time in the arena!

Considering that one of Douglas' most famous roles came with 1960's Spartacus, this served as a bit of a preview/(undress) rehearsal. 

Douglas, doing the greater part of his own stunts during all this, wound up striking some rather eye-popping positions and contortions. 

"Ya see what I mean, Vern?"

After that whole ordeal, he's attended to and given restorative libations. 

The episodic story, based on Homer's epic, has Douglas shown often in various stages of undress. I know that he has his detractors (and heaven knows I've also heard some unpleasant rumors), but I couldn't very well ignore these contributions to cinematic un-draping. 

Eventually, he's shown bathing in an underground grotto. We can clearly see his shorts, though I'm pretty sure that in the actual situation, the character wouldn't have bothered. (I wondered, too, if these were more beige when dry but turned distractingly dark once in the water?)

And I gathered that the large lily pads were there to obscure the view, making us presume that he wasn't wearing anything. 

Why else would they be so strategically placed? 

When he emerges, there is almost a suggestion of nudity.

But then it's made clear as he dries off that he's garbed in some sort of loincloth. 

In any case, fans of his will want to be sure to see this one (even though he's second billed to Italian star Silvana Mangano!)

Maybe it's the hair here, but I thought that I could see more of Michael Douglas in him during this film than I could in most otheres. 

While watching yet another obscurity, as I'm inclined to do, called The Mad Bomber (1973), there was a sequence with a deranged shooter up on a tower. 

As he went about his business up there, I couldn't help but take notice of his clingy pants. 

There are sticks of dynamite in his pockets and another stick further below! LOL And the guy seemed SO familiar, even though this was a very small role. 

It turned out to be Del Monroe, crewman from Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, who also showed off occasionally in his li'l red jumpsuit on that program!

I've got two more sequences for you in this haphazard collection of images. First up is Moon Zero Two (1969.) I caught a bit of this obscure sci-fi flick while watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 and just had to seek out the real deal. On the left is James Olson, an actor who despite being talented has never captured my interest much. (I'd probably be drawn more to his costar on the right, Ori Levy.) 

Following a mission in space, Olson comes into the moon base and heads to the men's locker room.

An associate helps him off with his space boots as he continues removing the various parts of his get-up. 

His heavily-wired undershirt unquestionably reminded me of the vintage character Mr. Goodbody! Anyone recall him?! Ha ha!

Olson then proceeds to take a shower in one of the room's funktastically modern stalls. 

Needless to say, I just loved this!

How convenient that there's a chair situated right in the thick of things, too! Great place to leaf through my latest copy of Remind magazine while gents are rinsing off all around! 

As the associate is leaving, he runs into Catherine Schell, who's looking for Olson. I didn't watch all of the ep, but the one time I did bust out laughing at MST3K's snarky commenters was when one of them got a load of her and said, "I'm here for the Gumby wedding..." !!!

Though she ought to have known better, she bursts in and catches Olson as he's emerging from his shower. 

For modesty's sake, he hops back into the stall and closes the swinging doors. 

This doesn't cause her to leave, however, but at least she turns away. 

As I say, he isn't my usual type, but this instantly became my favorite sequence of his in any movie. 

If you don't happen to know (where've you been?!), THIS is my type. I recently stumbled upon this previously unseen pic of my beloved Clint Walker. 

Finally we come to a real oddity. I had never in my life heard of this movie, Crime and Passion (1975), which had also been released under the title Ace Up My Sleeve. But with Karen Black just off her costarring role in Airport 1975 (1974) and Omar Sharif, along with Joseph Bottoms (for who?!), I felt I needed to check it out. It was a West German production and had a very odd vibe, often surreal in tone. 

At one point, Mr. Sharif finds himself at a mountain inn where a buxom (and braless!) employee takes him to one of the bathrooms and begins filling the tub. 

They exchange some flirty glances and he anticipates a conquest. He can hardly get undressed fast enough. 

She asks him if he would like a massage and he indicates yes, then hops into the tub.

The water feels great...

...and he's soon scrubbing away, making sure he'll be ready for the rendezvous on the massage table. 

He hears her coming and is eager to see her again, but...

...this is what opens the door and greets him! It's Yugoslavian actress Elma Karlowa. 

He can hardly process this switcheroo!

Then he becomes unnerved when she begins to approach the tub and rolls up her sleeves!

She picks him up out of the sudsy water and carries him naked down the hall to the massage room! 

She prepares him for the procedure. (Note he's yet to let go of his bath sponge, he's so staggered!)

While she's getting him all situated, we get a nanosecond glimpse under the towel, but he's using his hand to cover up the family jewels. 

Then she begins slathering him down with greasy balm. 

Trouble is, before long we find that this is all just a pretense. She's actually there to choke him to death!

A keen imdb commenter noted that this sequence recalls one that can be found in the 1948 thriller Cry of the City between Richard Conte and Hope Emerson, though that one stopped short of what happens in this movie. 

Here, the masseuse is basically on top of her victim, with one pendulous boob swinging in the breeze!

It really looks as if Sharif is going to meet his maker. 

Fortunately, he lands on the idea of biting her nipple as hard as he can, which has the visual effect on her of splashing a vampire with holy water!

And with that he's able to free himself from her grip. 

You know, famous as he was, Sharif was not known as a beefcake type or as one who showed very much skin.  

Prior to this, his most daring dabble with on screen nudity came with a very brief skinny dipping scene (with a couple of blink-and-you'll-miss-them shots on the edge of a lake) in Mackenna's Gold (1969.) 

Not long after that, he was snapped on a beach wearing some snug swim trunks.

So these rather unheralded moments in Crime and Passion constitute his going further down the nudity trail than anytime before without actually showing everything. 

By the way, there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that Miss Elizabeth Taylor saw his as an in-flight movie during a Piedmont flight and insisted on the same hair and makeup team as Karlowa when the time came for The Mirror Crack'd in 1980!

And with that, we've gotta run!