Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Battles of the Bulge

It's been quite a while since I indulged in one of my tributes to the male form as showcased in clingy pants (or something similar), so here we go again. I've been compiling pictures for a while, waiting until I had a generous supply to share. I guess I should be grateful that some of my more eager (and eagle-eyed) readers didn't begin to storm the gates like villagers from Frankenstein, but I had to make sure I had enough "packaged" up before I could send them to you!  Hopefully, there is something here for everyone. Enjoy! (Our cover boy today is Peter Breck of The Big Valley, 1965-1969, who probably made a few of the horses and bulls jealous!)

We never get tired of showing '40s leading man John Payne from various angles.
Likewise, there are few photos of hunkalicious 1920s heartthrob George O'Brien that we don't enjoy peering at. This one might deserve a closer look!
Now, I don't know if this photo or the one above necessarily qualifies as a "bulge" photo, but he sure is cute on his gym saddle and I bet he could really pummel!
O'Brien's occasional costar and director, John Wayne and John Ford, confer about something (not sure if it has anything to do with Duke's trousers or not...)
Wayne in Reap the Wild Wind (1942)
Did Ingrid Bergman ring Gary Cooper's in For Whom the Bell Tolls (1943)?
Reportedly, Errol Flynn was loath to wear anything under his tights in The Adventures of Don Juan (1948) and the rumor may be true if this costume test is any indication.
Here, we see Flynn in the movie proper (with costar Alan Hale) and things seem to be popping up all over...
...and here's a side view.
We've shown snaps of Steve Cochran in Tomorrow is Another Day (1956) before but when the water's good...
This is the same shot as above, but minus the kid.
Fernando Lamas in Jivaro (1954) lets us in on the crotch that stole the show in Broadway's "Happy Hunting" opposite Ethel Merman. (Look up the story sometime for a laugh.)
Underworld favorite John Bromfield starred in the 1955-1958 TV series Sheriff of Cochise.
A fondly remembered series of those who used to watch it originally is Adventures in Paradise (1959-1962) starring Gardner McKay.
Are you able to see Chuck Connors' big gun in The Rifleman (1958-1963) or am I imagining things?
I'm forever intending to do a post on the buddy western series Laramie (1959-1963), which costarred John Smith and his eye-boggling jeans, but I always seem to put it off.
Good luck finding a hunkier, burlier fella than 6'6" Clint Walker of Cheyenne (1955-1963.)
If the above shot of him didn't melt your butter, try this one on for size!
His sometime costar on Cheyenne, Ty Hardin, starred in the spin-off Bronco (1958-1962) and straddles a town barrel in this shot (I wonder whose turn it was to be inside the barrel that day? My guess is Will Hutchins. LOL)
This is from The Virginian, a 1965 episode of the long-running (1962-1971) series. On the left is blond cutie Doug McClure and on the right is guest star Tom Simcox.
Doug always had a lot going on in his cadet blue pants, but this time he shared the screen with some stiff competition.
Tom Somecox, er, I mean Simcox seemed to be living up to his name.
You really can't make out anything in this shot of Lee Majors in The Big Valley (1965-1969), but how could I omit a photo of him in this pose?
Steve McQueen and Yul Brynner may have had magnificent sevens of their own...
South Pacific's (1958) "Stew Pot" Ken Clark has a whole tribute to him elsewhere on this site!

A beaming Tab Hunter shows off some teensy trunks.
Joby Baker in the TV-movie (failed pilot) Valley of Mystery may be demonstrating that there is more than one valley to be explored!
Gridiron hero and movie tough guy Jim Brown is really packin' heat here.
When even your tunic has a bulge, you may be something special as in the case of hunk Rik Battaglia (shown here with Joan Collins in Esther and the King, 1960.)
A more conventional view is seen in this lobby card from 1965's Pyramid of the Sun God, a German adventure that also starred Lex Barker.
Jeff Morrow (shown with Joanne Dru) costarred in September Storm (1960.)
Here we find singer-actor Bobby Sherman in The Partidge Family spin-off Getting Together (1971-1972) alongside guest star Diana Ewing.
James Coburn (with costars James Mason and Susannah York) is sporting some interesting trousers in Duffy (1968.)
Is this part of what made Rex Harrison "Sexy Rexy?" (From 1969's Staircase.)
Dancer extraordinaire Mikhail Baryshnikov almost wears a costume in a performance of "Medea."
Ill-fated comedian-actor Freddie Prinze of Chico and the Man (1974-1977.)
There's a tribute here to Space: 1999 (1975-1977) and its revealing costumes as demonstrated in this photo by Australian actor Nick Tate.
John Schneider and Tom Wopat of The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985) are frequent subjects of posts like these.
This shot offers more where that came from!
During the run of Hazzard (during a contract dispute, actually!), Schneider also worked with Kirk Douglas in Eddie Macon's Run (1983), but kept the skin-tight jeans just the same.
Here we see Wopat dressed (left) for an installment of Battle of the Network Stars (circa 1982-1983.)
And here he is, in the more familiar (yet still dressed left) blue jeans.
This shot of The Village People from 1980's Can't Stop the Music (yet audiences sorta did!) begs the question: Is this all them or did they stuff?
Jimmy McNichol may be ending the eternal question in these sweats as to whether he is hung better than younger sister Kristy! (By the way, despite his Smokey and the Bandit II ball cap, he wasn't in that. He did star in the rip-off Smokey Bites the Dust, released the same year, 1981, though!)
Fellow teen idol Shaun Cassidy shows off part of what made so many girl (and surely a few boy) fans scream their lungs out back in the day.
I'd like to punch whoever cropped this photo of Ryan O'Neal the way they did!
As of late, a few visitors and I have been rhapsodizing about the late Simon MacCorkindale over at "Dreams are What Le Cinema is For..." blog in the Death on the Nile (1978) post.
As seen here, Mr. Mac knew how to paint on some skin-tight jeans! 
From the looks of some of these photos and recollecting some of his roles, it may be possible we'll see a tribute to Mr. Mac. some time in the future!
We saw him earlier (and younger) in this post, but now we find Lee Majors in biker gear for an episode of The Fall Guy (1981-1986), with costar Heather Thomas.
Enjoy the '80s splendor of Scott Baio (with Brooke Shields) in Lycra, spandex or some such fabric for an installment of Circus of the Stars.
Teleporting closer to present day, I give you Mario Lopez from a photo spread that paid tribute to iconic film characters, this one Richard Gere's in American Gigolo (1980.) I dare say he fills out his gray shorts better than the original, though I don't know about comparing the acting...
One of the guardians and presenters of classic film is TCM host Ben Mankiewicz, who on some occasions can be seen in clothing that puts him alongside the stars in this post.
I apologize that the evidence isn't crystal clear, but, believe me, if you watch him often enough and closely enough, it's all there...
Sometimes it seems as if the bulge is all but absent from contemporary projects, though every once in a while some costuming will give way to one, as with Jamie Foxx in Django Unchained (2012.)
It's only natural that he'd be showing some crotchery since his costume for the film was inspired by that of Michael Landon, "King of VPL," from the long-running (1959-1973) western Bonanza! Of course, Foxx went a step further with an upside-down nude scene in this movie for those who are good with physics and geometry.
Here's (not so) "Little Joe" in his early years on the show...
...and here is Landon in his iconic clothing combination, which he more most often on the program.
Second to last, I give you the throat-clogging wonder and awe of Underworld fave Dack Rambo!
And, lastly, I give you the muscleman-actor John Hamill, who some of you may know as one of the spelunkers who came upon a Cro-Magnon man in Joan Crawford's final film Trog (1970.) Based upon this evidence, I think Ms. Crawford may have been doing scientific studies on the wrong costar that time out!!
I hope you had a ball looking over this round of bulges... Till next time, Poseidon!