Over these last fifteen years (!), P.U. has supplied a fair share of bulges courtesy of
Michael Landon and his lengthy tenure on
Bonanza. (The western classic aired from 1959-1973 and he was there for all of it!) In season three, the leads got new costumes wherein Landon was fitted out with shirts and pants in slightly contrasting shades of smoky taupe and what would become an iconic dark green jacket. This was practically his uniform until the series went off the air. Fortunately for the viewers, his new pants had a real tendency to show off little Little Joe (which wasn't that little!) Today, we're adding to an already expansive array of shots of Landon in his get-up because a loyal and true reader kept sending me examples of episodes with these sorts of moments (and I kept taking the bait!) Finding them all can amount to quite an excavation considering that the show ran for 430 episodes! This is the latest round of discoveries.
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Just so everyone's clear on who we're looking at, this is young Mr. Landon, who later helped create the warmly-remembered series Little House on the Prairie and peppered that show's supporting cast with skilled character actors he'd met during Bonanza.
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Landon in his now-iconic costume.
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As far as I have ever seen or known, Landon always "dressed left."
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Before we zero in on the bulges, I'm going to take a brief detour to this installment in which Landon had a lengthy shirtless scene, which was pretty unusual for the show.
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Okay then. On we go...
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Little Joe happens to be spiffed up for this sequence, with a dress shirt and tie. So many times, he is seen walking out of the house towards the yard and his trousers grab all the attention.
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'Course in his case, even a casual stroll through the living room with a cup of coffee can be something of an event.
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Or bringing soup to an ill friend. This'll cure what ails you!
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It isn't the case every time, but often when his hands go to his hips/gunbelt, we're in for a viewing.
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Combine that stance with walking and we're home free!
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Just a closer walk with thee...
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Party time!
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There's at least one ep in which Little Joe was outdone.
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See what I mean? Fans of revealing trousers may recognize this saddlebag of junk. LOL
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It belongs to John Ireland.
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Landon tried to keep up.
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And it was a valiant fight, but there was no chance of winning against Ireland when it came to something like this.
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Questions abound. Did the seemingly warm-hearted, sentimental and generally demure (and, God knows, straight) Landon know what he was putting out there over the airwaves?
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Could he really not have realized the gun-slinging he was putting on TV each week?
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Or was he innocent in this and simply going about his business.
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Obviously I cannot say for certain, but I just feel like he had to know. Don't we all know where everything is and what's able to be seen?
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I'll be winding this up with some well-pronounced examples.
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Sometimes that camera just went in for the kill.
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A lot of today's caps came from a YT uploader who had great quality prints of the show. To my horror, this particular moment just happened to fall right as the uploader's watermark appeared over the picture!
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I found another version of it without said watermark.
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This was another good sequence.
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Who knows that lurks in the shadow, to paraphrase a once-popular radio program!
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| Yowza! |
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This made sitting through Bonanza over at Grandma and Grandpa's house a hell of a lot more entertaining. Sort of like a PG-rated (or maybe R!) version of Where's Waldo. ("Where's Weenie?")
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Today's last sequence may give you the vapors... Ha ha!
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Still want more, do you?
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| Child..... |
15 comments:
SO fun. I admit one of my hobbies is scanning for Landon trouser trout. I honestly think he knew what he was doing, he had to have FELT what he was doing. I think it was his way of upstaging, and stealing a scene. Particulary when he walks out of the house, you're right, he primed and ready to go SO many times out of the front door, LOL. I've been trying to discern a pattern with him, so many good episodes fall between the 100 and 200 number of episodes. There are times when it would be PERFECT for him, and he's flat as a board in the pants. Other times, amazing. I'm amazed you can see the curve of his balls in most of the shots. Again, I'm convinced that man knew exactly what he was doing.
A few comments on the show itself. After watching so much of it, it cracks me up that the outdoor scenes are so stagey. Especially the camps at night. Set set set. Then there's the exact same location they shoot everytime they need a real location with distance. This huge open field with a road. SO many times. Then there's the upstairs bedroom that is constantly used by some sick little girl, some injured man, or usually Landon with his shirt off. Not a bad way to make a living.
I read somewhere that Michael Landon was '...half Jewish...'
Well, we can clearly see which half...
Hey Poseidon, Oh, Landon knew what he was doing. He was cut from the same cloth as Robert Conrad, who loved to show off his bod, too. Both were hot egomaniacs! Cheers, Rick
Thanks for another great set of framecaps, Poseidon!
Some of these are absolutely *amazing* in how revealing they are! They're practically clinging to every curve and bulge like a wet T-shirt, and makes you wonder what-- if anything-- Landon (and John Ireland) was wearing underneath.
Given all the trouble William Ware Theiss had with STAR TREK costumes and the way Barbara Eden's "Jeannie" costume had to have a special piece added to hide her navel on two other NBC series at the time, you'd think there'd have been someone at "standards and practices" monitoring men's pants constantly for this sort of thing-- and just as avidly as *we* do! LOL!
Since NBC didn't make Landon wear an equipment-flattening dancer's belt or baggy overalls, I guess everybody-- including most of the audience-- just pretended they didn't see what was obviously bulging out there! (And that clearly persisted into the '80s on all networks-- Gary Sandy, Tom Wopat, John Schneider, Fred Dwyer...)
I suppose it could be that some of these framecaps preserve a fleeting nanosecond when the lighting and angle of the body are *just right* and really put everything into full exposure-- and the rest of the footage isn't quite that eye-popping and jaw-dropping, because everything's moving too fast and too many other things are going on in the shot.
(Also, I guess some of the shots where the other actors seem to be caught noticing and reacting to Landon's and Ireland's amazing meat displays might not be as obvious in the actual show.)
Framecapping is an art, and you always do an *excellent* job with it! Like I always say, your posts are usually better than the shows and films themselves!
And I agree that Landon *had* to have been aware that he was showing the goods in those pants. Looking at those framecaps where you can actually see the shaft distinct from the balls, he was clearly enhancing the effect by at least wearing thin, loose boxers if not actually "freeballing" under there.
I've also heard someone claim of John Ireland that he was proud of his endowment and made a point of putting it on display, even putting his hand in his pants pocket to make the fabric tighten over the crotch and reveal more. (I'm not sure, though, if they were talking about on-screen displays, or if this was something Ireland did in private life.)
A shame the internet didn't exist back then-- you just *know* there'd be "dick pics" and J/O videos out there somewhere, like there are of some current celebs and semi-celebs! LOL!
Anyway, thanks for yet another stimulating dive into Michael Landon's crotch, and for all you do, Poseidon! Youre the best! Love to all, and be safe and well, everyone!
Bas reliefs like this were so common on TV then, but pants in general were more, uh, form fitting, so perhaps it just didn’t seem out of the ordinary to viewers. Surely more than a few of your readers remember squeezing into those hip hugger jeans.
Actually, what I coveted was that green jacket (suede, I think).
Somewhere in heaven Pa Ingalls is getting a kick out of this, I just know it. I am thinking he didn't know since it was a conservative time and a family oriented show. It probably had everything to do with the fabric and lighting along and his big package. I am very impressed with John Ireland and think that William Castle movie could been called "I saw what you pack and know you have more"
Ptolemy1, I have these unholy images of Landon standing behind the door of the ranch house set and someone hollers, "Quiet on set...! Lights, camera, ACTION!" and he's fluffing in order to make a big entrance! Ha ha! So, so many shots of him coming out that door or otherwise walking towards the camera and it's all ya can focus on!
jamesgray, ha ha! Back in the days of really tight pants, you'd hear a comic say something about "I could tell which religion he was" (or maybe it was just some queens in a bar!)
rick, it's been established that he (Landon) liked to go commando during "Little House." Oddly enough, I NEVER have a bulge sighting with him whenever I watch that show! His pants are so loose compared to these.
hsc, I would think that Mike wore nothing under these taupe pants EXCEPT that he always, without exception, has the most hideous panty lines in back...! Drives me crazy. He didn't seen to have much of a rear anyway and it looks awful plenty of times with the severe lines showing through. :-[ It isn't easy to catch a bulge in motion. I do my best - and I appreciate the acknowledgement. Sometimes you just have to see it in motion to really appreciate it. Thanks!
Dan, I truly love your use of the term "bas relief!" perfect!
Gingerguy! Ha! I always thought it was sort of fun that John Ireland did a sort of reverse on the "Psycho" shower scene in "ISWYD." Instead of the killer coming into the shower to stab a victim, the person showering drags the victim INTO the shower to stab them! 'Course we really can't see anything, which is a shame.
Hi Poseidon,
Sorry for the late post, but in your reply to Ptolemy1, it occurred to me if it was just some kink that Landon had, figuring no one would notice or call him on it.
Personally, I wouldn't know anything about such things, but what do you think?
Thank for the wonderful post, as usual.
"I would think that Mike wore nothing under these taupe pants EXCEPT that he always, without exception, has the most hideous panty lines in back...! Drives me crazy. He didn't seen to have much of a rear anyway and it looks awful plenty of times with the severe lines showing through."
OTOH, while it's probably not likely he was wearing them, they actually DID have "crotchless underwear" for men back then, along the same lines as "crotchless panties" for women.
I remember finding an issue of one of those "lower tier" girlie magazines-- either NUGGET or JAGUAR-- in my Dad's drawer in the mid-'60s and being fascinated by the sleazy ads in the back, especially the ads for a mail-order company called "Regency Square" that was sort of a *men's* version of "Frederick's of Hollywood"-- mostly skimpy, see-through, or bulge-enhancing briefs and bikinis.
They were illustrated by either "Frederick's"-style beefcake drawings or occasionally, slightly retouched photos of hunky male models. I found them insanely hot at that point, since I was just hitting puberty.
One of the most memorable Items in those ads was this "special" pair of briefs that had a large triangular opening in front exposing the whole crotch-- unlike the other items in the ad, this was NOT shown being worn, but simply spread out displaying the "special feature." It was obvious that if you wore them, you'd be fully covered in back, but with your junk hanging completely exposed and dangling.
The tagline announced that this was "NOT a fad, NOT a gimmick, but a specially designed feature for the ultimate in male comfort and freedom of movement... Be FREE! while constantly maintaining a masculine awareness." I'm pretty sure the ad said this design was called "Go-Go."
The weird thing is that "Regency Square" seemed to market itself to *straight* men; I don't recall later seeing their ads in gay (or gay-interest) mags, unlike "Parr of Arizona" and "Ah Men" around the same time. (And years later, "International Male" and "Undergear" seemed to go after both gay and straight consumers.)
While it's probably unlikely Mike Landon was wearing these things or something similar, it would've gotten him past any sort of on-set wardrobe checking from "standards and practices" watchdogs.
He could've just reached into the waist of his pants and pulled a bit of the elastic waistband of the underwear out to show he had briefs on underneath and wasn't "freeballing"-- even though he actually would've been with those on.
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And in related news, when that item hit the news feeds yesterday about Ricky Martin appearing to "display a massive erection" while onstage during a Madonna concert, my *first* thought was:
"Oh, please-- NO gay man likes Madonna *THAT* much!"
And my *second* thought was:
"Well, there's *another* celebrity bulge post for Poseidon!" LOL!
Thanks again for all you do, Poseidon! Love to all and be safe and well, everyone!
A, I think he knew what he had and liked to have it recognized, so to speak, yet had to also keep some sort of discretion with it. (There used to be stories from crew that he would become aroused by the friction of the saddle while riding, but most of the examples I've seen take place nowhere around a horse!) I really don't know. Apart from the time when he left his longtime wife and married a member of the LHOTP crew, he really wasn't known to be a philanderer, unless I'm mistaken, so I can't think it was some ploy to get attention from women. Maybe just a way to arouse attention in general. He WAS the cast member who - far and away - received the most fan mail on the show.
hsc, I hear you but I still have trouble believing that ML would have worn something like that for all those years on the Ponderosa. I don't know exactly what he had on, but that's a lot of ordering from a specialty store/catalog from 1961-1973! Ha ha!! I tend to think the little monster just fought to get out of his briefs sometimes. LOL I follow almost no current celebrities, so I knew nothing of Ricky or his issue, but I will take a look!! (Was it you who remarked about "Rocco" and the shower scene being on Tumblr? I have never been on that site. That's how "out of the loop" I am. I just happened to catch the movie on TCM one night.)
Poseidon, i wasn't suggesting that Landon actually ordered that specific item from that specific mailorder house. LOL!
While "Regency Square" continued to run ads in the back of your lower-end magazines well into the '70s (and possibly the '80s), I don't know how long that particular brief was sold. At any rate, they apparently didn't continue to put it into their ads (AFAIK-- though I didn't really have much opportunity to to follow their ads until years later) though it may have remained in their full catalog.
(OTOH, you can still easily obtain that sort of item in various designs from various manufacturers, simply by running a Google search and shopping Amazon or Walmart online-- as I discovered when unsuccessfully trying to find that vintage RS ad! LOL!)
And it wouldn't be at all difficult for Landon to have simply taken scissors to a pair of standard men's briefs and cut out the front panel in an appropriate shape, to allow "the goods" to hang free and exposed under pants while everything else is covered. If done the right way, the briefs would still appear normal in the front from the elastic waistband down to the pubes, while retaining full rear coverage, "panty line" and so forth.
And again-- I'm not saying Mike Landon actually *did* any of this, but it would explain displaying that level of defined bulge in the front combined with "panty lines" in back. OTOH, maybe he was simply well-endowed and/or semi-aroused by the knowledge his junk was going to be visible in those tight pants to millions of viewers. LOL!
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And yes, I did mention in a comment to an earlier thread finding a set of GIFs from the shower scene in ROCCO AND HIS BROTHERS on Tumblr.
I'm glad you covered the film at length in "April Showers," because I *STILL* haven't been able to catch the film, and you did an EXCELLENT job of capturing the homoerotic content the film's been noted for.
BTW, it may no longer be in there, but back on April 6, I wrote a long comment on that "April Showers" post that might've wound up in your spam folder. (If you got it and decided not to post it, hey, that's okay. I *do* ramble on a lot. LOL!)
Alison Arngrim who played Nellie on Little House talks about him and his penchant for being shirtless on the show and not wearing underwear. On the one hand, it was ungodly hot in Semi Valley, with temps sometimes around 100. Granted, but then as Arngrim states, Landon was certainly a greek god of a man, and I think he knew it. He very astutely knew the power of beefcake just as much as cheesecake, and used it to his advantage. A very talented man, he wrote many of the scripts for Bonanza while Pernell Roberts was sulking and bitching about the show being beneath him. Meanwhile Landon used the medium of television to succeed throughout his very short life. And very well. Was he an exhibitionist? Sometimes watching him I'm convinced of it. Or did he use every resource available to him to stand out as it were, among an ensemble cast of talented men. I have no doubt that one of those resources he seized upon was his lower wardrobe. He sometimes even sort of POSES, one leg up on a fence post, or hands on hips. Looking at him closely in his "everyday" pants, you do see a very high line, some sort of underwear that gave the globes of his butt an uninterupted view, while the lines of the underwear rode above. The front is anyone's guess, there honestly doesn't seem to be anything else THERE. Yeah, I admit I'm fascinated by him, he was so gorgeous. That hair, he gave so much credit to; he stated his hair especially in Little House was a Samson kind of thing. He was lithe and beautiful. I'm sure he also had mirrors.
hsc, every once in a while your comments do go to spam, possibly due to length and or links within, which certainly doesn't bother me in the least, but may trigger a filter. I just got one of yours out of there for this post. But... there haven't been any others, including April 6th!! 😥😥 I regularly check it. And I was wondering why you of all people had declined to remark on the showers. Something else must've gone wrong. So sorry! I RARELY opt not to okay a legitimate comment, even if I disagree with it. It has to be way out of line (or a deranged troll) for me to block something. Thanks!!
Well this explains one reason why Bonanza was a top rated series for 14 years! In the 60s such a big deal was made out of censoring Barbara Eden's belly button on I Dream of Jeannie. But this got past the censors? LOL
K Jenkins, I would watch more current TV if it was as demonstrative as these old "Bonanza" eps are! Ha ha! Marketing 101. But the current crop of television creators can hang on to their CGI and prosthetic genitals. No interest in that at all... Thanks for commenting! I agree with your amazement over the disparity between Eden's belly button versus Landon's lariat. HA!
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