Poseidon Quickies: Beefy "Burnett"

While this isn't the first time I've pointed out a dose of beefcake to be found on the long-running, iconic variety series The Carol Burnett Show, this was a new one to me. (For those keeping track, it's season one, episode fourteen, from December of 1967.) I watched it on Crackle, though it may be available elsewhere.  The segment, cleverly called "Fiddler on the Forum" took its title from shows like "Fiddler on the Roof" and "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum," the later having been released as a feature film the prior year, though the sketch's plotline leaned more towards something like Quo Vadis? (1951) or Samson and Delilah (1949.) 

This "disclaimer" was hilarious! The scroll also noted stars such as "Ursula Undress," "Warren Body," "Raquel Wench" and "Sex Harrison."

We find a flamboyant Harvey Korman as an indulgent emperor along the lines of Nero or Caligula.

As was so often the case, costume designer Bob Mackie had a field day coming up with the elaborate, yet abbreviated, costumes for all the cast members of the sketch. These gals, of course, being part of the Ernie Flatt Dancers.

Then Burnett makes her grand entrance as Empress Passionata. Um, speaking of abbreviated, check these "togas" on the servants carrying Burnett's litter!

As much fun as Mackie had outfitting the girls, I'm sure he had at least as enjoyable a time arranging these get-ups! 

Things clearly aren't exactly blissful between the Empress and Emperor.

Things start to look up for Burnett when slave/prisoner Sid Caesar shows up in chains.

She prefers his (supposed!) brawn over the foppish Korman.

I can just about tolerate Caesar and never thought he was handsome, but it must be said that his arms and overall physique don't look bad here.

Korman flashes a ton of leg as he rises to protest this little snuggle-up between his wife and a captive. Tale notice, too, of the statue behind Korman. It's a neat set piece.

Burnett tries to shield Caesar from her spouse's wrath. (But check out the guy with the painted on goatee between them. He's a dreamboat!)

If he isn't your thing, perhaps his travel-sized buddy will do?

Next thing you know, Caesar is compelled to take on one of the top gladiators, a towering brute.

Needless to say, he has his reservations...!

Seeing this dude brought back fond memories of when I played Miles Gloriosus in "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum," though I didn't bare my chest... (Sorry, folks. Just had to stick my fat face into this post! Ha ha!)

This is how sketch comedy needs to be done. Semi-nude statuary and semi-nude background players... HA!

Again, this scenario brought back memories. What I covered up on top, I made up for with bare legs. Something a true gladiator would never have. Heigh ho...

Unlikely as it seems, Caesar is able to fell the gargantuan brute.

Then Korman, again flashing plenty of leg, gets in on the action.

Somehow Caesar (whose name really fits this sketch!) manages to do away with him as well. (This shot affords a good look at Burnett's elaborate costume - if you can tear your eyes away from the guy on the far left!)

The skit comes to an end with Caesar and the various remaining cast members assembled. 

They proceed to shake their groove things in a group dance.

Here's a better look at goatee man. But wait, there's more...!

Does his pal, the man on the right here, seem at all familiar? He's given his own little "bit" in the sketch.

This is among the earliest work of Broadway actor Lee Roy Reams. A Masters graduate of the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music (CCM), he had worked on The Great White Way in "Sweet Charity" before appearing in 13 episodes of The Carol Burnett Show in 1967 and '68. He went on to play in "Oklahoma!," "Applause" (as seen here with Lauren Bacall), "Hello, Dolly!," "42nd Street" (a Tony nominee) and "La Cage aux Folles," among others.

Later, he played the LEAD in "Hello Dolly!" in drag and took on the role of cross-dressing Roger in "The Producers." So you never know what you're going to stumble upon while checking out vintage TV (or, for that matter, Poseidon's Underworld!)

Till next time!

Poseidon Quickies: Sigh The "Contract!"

Not one of my most successful "punny" titles for a post, but finally I just gave up. Ha ha!  I was totally unfamiliar with the 1958 low-budget movie Murder by Contract when I stumbled upon it the other day. It was only the opportunity to see what its star, Vince Edwards, was up to at that time that convinced me to give it a whirl. Later, I found that the quickly-made (filmed in 7 days!), 81-minute movie was considered an achievement in tone, style and editing and was heralded by no less than Martin Scorcese as an influence. It's really unusual for its time... the way it is paced and the episodic structure paired with the true eccentricities (almost OCD-like) of the central character. If it should seem interesting to you after working through this post, a great copy of it can be seen on YT right here. 

My first exposure to actor Vince Edwards came courtesy of the horrendous (and yet delectable) stalker movie The Seduction (1982) in support of Miss Morgan Fairchild.  Otherwise, I've seen precious little of his film and television output, though I've seen many photos of his dark, hirsute physique.

In this trim, spare, yet at times compelling movie, he's physically irresistible. His Romanesque face, topped by an impossibly thick and wavy head of brown hair is shown to great advantage by the movie's cinematographer (none other than the acclaimed Lucien Ballard.)

Playing a routine-obsessed hit man who methodically plans each job (all in order to save up for a house!), Edwards is seen exercising in his motel room while he awaits "the call" that will inform him of his next target.

These sequences, as seen by teenage moviegoer Scorcese, reportedly inspired him while later directing Taxi Driver (1976) and depicting his title character's home life. 

At one point during another job (this time in a lovely hotel versus a motel), he nearly enjoys some female companionship in the form of blonde, curvy Kathie Browne, but it ultimately doesn't work out.

As a hired killer, Edwards sometimes assimilates into his victims' environments by adopting mild disguises. For example, here, he is impersonating a barber.

These (now virtually extinct) shoulder-button smocks were once the go-to for barbers. He looks good in his.

For another hit, he dons a doctor's uniform and a stethoscope in order to enter a hospital room and do in the target. This foreshadows Edwards' soon-to-be iconic role as surly-but-devoted TV doctor Ben Casey, which ran from 1961-1966 and made him a household name.

Broodingly handsome Dr. Ben Casey.

For his most recent assignment, he's picked up by Herschel Bernardi and Phillip Pine, who are assigned to prepare and inform him about the hit. Note the lack of a rear view mirror in the (studio) shot above...

...as compared to the location long-shot wherein Edwards' dreamy features are blocked out by the mirror in the center of the windshield!

It's difficult to discuss Edwards without remarking about his hair.

As he's selecting various weaponry for the kill, we can only marvel at his tall, thick, mane of curls.

During demonstrations of said implements (in this case a bow and arrow!), his perfectly-coiffed pompadour 'do looks great against his strong Italian features. 

During a room service delivery, the tightly-wound Edwards discovers lipstick on his coffee cup from the previous diner and starts into a diatribe against the hapless waiter.

Here we can spy voluminous chest hair climbing out of his bathrobe.

This display of body hair is in start contrast to Edwards' earliest days before the movie camera.

In 1951's Mr. Universe, his movie debut, Edwards not only had his whole body waxed, but also had his locks bleached blond! This gave him an almost Buster Crabbe-y look. Not that there's anything wrong with resembling Buster, but fortunately, he soon resumed life as a hirsute brunette.

If you can tear your eyes away from his handsome face, check out the fur on his forearm in this sequence. This was no Troy Donahue, people. Ha ha!

But I deliberately skipped past the primo example of Mr. Edwards' exhibition of follicle-laden physique. It's when he's picked up by his henchmen pals who want to take him straight to his hotel room. He instead instructs them to take him to the Pacific Ocean.

He's next seen emerging from the surf, wearing trunks, a face mask and flippers!

As he nears the camera, he begins to peel off the flippers.

As a youth, Edwards was a baseball and track athlete, but was most memorably a swimmer. In college he was on the OSU team, which won the national championship six times in eight years between 1943-1950.

He reaches for a nearby towel on the sand.

Then he trots by the camera while sliding off that face mask. We get a brief, but inviting look at his hairy chest and treasure trail. (This may have been Edwards very own swimsuit as he wore it, among others, in Island Women, 1958, as well. Or perhaps he just reused the costume for both movies.)

He heads back to the car (now inside a studio, with rear-screen projection) to rejoin his partners.

Check out those glass-cutter nipples of his. (Okay, the one, then.)

We're never shown or told where it was that he stripped out of his suit and tie and into these trunks. Or if Bernardi and Pine observed it...

Things do take an interesting turn, though, when Edwards enters the front seat of the car...

...and tosses his towel in Bernardi's face.

Next he instructs (orders!) Bernardi to dry off his back! He seems to be enjoying it.

For all the hair to be found elsewhere, Edwards' back has been cleared off. (I do this myself, in truth.)

For contrast, see these pics taken a little later.

Edwards, as I say, truly made his mark on the hit medical series. (It ran the same years as Richard Chamberlain's Dr. Kildare, leading to a bit of a rivalry between the two shows.)

Obviously, the two shows shared several common aspects. But while Chamberlain was often - though not always - depicted as smiling sunnily...

...Edwards was more likely to be found looking more surly. I regret to say that I have never seen an episode of Ben Casey! It was never rerun in my geographic area during my formative TV years. (Kildare, either, for that matter.)

Just look at that face...! Handsome man. Edwards worked on various TV and movie projects until 1995 when he fell ill from pancreatic cancer. He died in 1996 at age 67.

Which brings us to...

The End!