Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Rustlin' Up More Bulges!

Wipe the sleep out of your eyes, slide on your bifocals, whatever it takes because, yes, we're back once more with a round up of revealing trousers and other clothing! There are several photos today that are not from a western project, but because the vast majority are this time, we went with the subject title shown above. (Our cover boy today is Fernando Lamas, hanging around with his gun.) I have to make the disclaimer, one that I often do, that most of these bulges that aren't actual still photos, are far more eye-catching in motion than in frame captures. Nevertheless, there are a few sprinkled about that ought to make you look twice. And now, let's zip to the subject at hand!

The Dark Tower (1943) had Anne Crawford and David Farrar as a high wire act, with Farrar in the customary tights.
If you've ever seen Black Narcissus (1947) you will recall his face.
When the twosome is introduced, things get pretty swingy.
After that initial glimpse, Farrar is shown climbing the ladder and now has on some obvious protection/camouflage! Perhaps someone noticed an issue in the earlier take.
Before we leave the circus theme, I give you brothers Ricky and David Nelson. Did you know that, for a time in the early-'60s, these two performed a trapeze act?! David took an interest in it after The Big Circus (1959) and coerced Ricky into joining him for a while.
Here we see Angie Dickinson enjoying a stroll with A Fever in the Blood (1961) costar Efrem Zimbalist Jr and his snug pants.
Gaze upon the gorgeous visage of Steve Cochran, hairy-chested star of the '40s & '50s, in the 1951 movie The Tanks are Coming (they aren't alone!)
Strolling alongside Phil Carey in his weathered uniform, we get a quick glimpse of Steve Jr.
This publicity shot of Clint Eastwood indulging in a workout was chosen more for his pal in the back and his straining shorts!

I don't know the guy's name, but I'd like to! (Is it Jock Mahoney, who I don't normally find very attractive?)
George Maharis is on a revealing moonlight walk with Susan Oliver and Martin Milner in an episode of Route 66.
Poor Susan doesn't seem to realize that there can sometimes be snakes out at night!
Years later on Fantasy Island, a rather waxen-looking Maharis guest-starred and showed that his dressing preferences hadn't changed much.
In the episode, he and James Darren are competing over the affections of... Helen Reddy!
I don't know if I've ever hated a fur coat more than this one, which is covering up part of hunkalicious Chad Everett's leather pants!
These next three pics are from a seaside photo shoot which blissfully contain Everett wearing some cut-off shorts, emphasis on short!
I don't know how our Chad could have sat down on this day without slipping out of these.
Now if only I knew what the project was and if he wore this get-up in it!
This is Christopher Jones, star of Wild in the Streets (1968.)
As a rock star who first supports a youth-oriented candidate, but late becomes President himself, he sported some very tight pants.
In this performance sequence, you can see the way he's poured into them.
'60s pretty boy turned '70s macho hunk Robert Conrad liked to serve-up bare-chested beefcake and bulge on many an occasion.
His WWII series Baa Baa Black Sheep (1976-1978) afforded plenty of opportunities for him to do both.
It's rather rare to see Jack Nicholson in pants so tight, but here he is in the classic movie Five Easy Pieces (1970.)
Why Karen Black is more focused on her bowling shoes is anybody's guess! Ha!
Tom Berenger in one of his early movies (perhaps The Dogs of War, 1980?)
Ricardo Montalban, of the aforementioned Fantasy Island, sometimes broke away from his white suits and donned some riding pants.
As you can see, they were quite snug and revealing.
Fantasy Island guest star David Cassidy let it all hang out in one scene.
Ya gotta love the '70s and '80s (the '60s, too)
This guy is just a background extra from The Love Boat, but you'd be surprised what pops up during that series' hallway and, especially, poolside scenes.
Meet Mr. Robert Urich of Vega$, strutting around in some clingy blue jeans.
Here he takes a ball-bursting walk with Tony Curtis (who was no slouch in the bulge department himself in the 1970s.)
No wonder this show was one of Urich's big hits.
Here he charms guest star Kim Basinger.
The short-lived show Square Pegs (1982-1983) set at a high school, occasionally featured some revealing clothing. This weight-lifting guy, campaigning to be the school's mascot, is Jon Caliri.
A bigger impression was made by Merrit Butrick (remember him as William Shatner's son in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, 1982?)
This scene, taking place on a baseball diamond, had enough dirt in it to mess up Butrick's black jeans and highlight his crotch.
There was more than one bat onhand.
Here, Butrick rocks some leather pants that have an awful lot going on inside them!
This young man is Michael Bowen in 1985's Private Resort.
On his way to meet a prospective date, his pants can barely contain their excitement...
His cocky attitude spoils his chances with the girl. Bowen proceeded on to a lengthy and busy career in TV and movies that continues to this day.
One of The Underworld's faithful readers sent in this two-part photo of Steve Guttenberg in one of the Cocoon movies.
Another reader shared this revealing print ad.
This guy certainly deserves a closer look and no doubt did from the many folks who purchased that issue of GQ!
At long last we come to the western part of this post. (I really amassed a lot of pics this time out!) Here, Rory Calhoun is ready to show us his gun(s.)
Previously seen Chad Everett is bursting with pride during his first series, The Dakotas (1962-1963.)
One of Bonanza's (1959-1973) key assets was the series of taupe trousers that Michael Landon sported as Little Joe.
As fans of the show know, Little Joe was not so little...
Sometimes his presence on-screen made it difficult to pay attention to the storyline and dialogue!
It's tough to make out in this dark scene, but there were times when his penis entered the doorway before the rest of him did! Ha!
As is often the case, it's the walking sequences that show the most.
No wonder the show ran all those years!
Supposedly, the friction of riding on a horse sometimes led to tumescence, but it's there in plenty of non-equine scenes as well...
As Daniel Boone (1964-1970), Fess Parker nearly always wore the same (anachronistic) pants. They were almost like tights.
Shown here with costar Patricia Blair, he could often be counted on for some bulgery.
The theme song went, "Daniel Boone was a man, yes a big man..." and they may be right!
He's seen here with Ed Ames, who once made comedic history on The Tonight Show by hurling an axe at a target in the shape of a man during with the axe landed right in the target's crotch!
Here is Parker with on-screen son Darby Hinton, who figured into his own beefcake-y post here not long ago.
His Indian friend here is guest star William Smith, but look at Mr. Parker!
Another big man on campus was Leif Erickson of The High Chaparral (1967-1971.)
You see, it does sometimes pay to watch vintage westerns on TV...
Doug McClure of The Virginian (1962-1971) was cuteness personified and nearly always wore a snug pair of blue-gray trousers.
If you can tear yourself away from his pants, I've also included a couple of shots of his handsome face.
And now we come to the centerpiece of this post, the gentlemen of Laramie (1959-1963)
Handsome Robert Fuller
Fuller would later proceed to costar on Emergency! (1972-1979)
Blue-eyed blond John Smith
Smith's career was less consistent, especially after 1964's Circus World, during which he and director Henry Hathaway tangled.
First, let's enjoy this color snapshot of Fuller in contemporary gear!
As we work our way through the photos from Laramie, there are less of Fuller than of Smith because Fuller's pants were most often dark and less visible.
Smith, on the other hand, almost invariably wore the same pale, skin-tight trousers that showed off his body to an eye-popping degree.
Though nothing is the same as actually watching the show (in goggle-eyed awe), you'll see what I mean as we progress. Not every photo will bear a caption. Some pictures need no further explanation!

This is not a bulge pic, but I thought some of you might be interested in seeing Fuller's Emergency! costar Julie London as a guest on Laramie. Her character was involved with Smith, but did save a kiss for Fuller, too!
This collage of Fuller being woken up and kicking around in his underwear is a fave!
The show, centering on the men running a stage coach way station, often depicted them in domestic situations such as this one!
Fuller, abducted by a guest villain, is about to be hung, but I think it's too late. He already is. LOL
Help me, Jesus.
The bulk of the shots in this post are from season two, though I suspect the entire run was peppered with tantalizing scenes like this one.
All along, I intended to end with this beefy shot of Clint Walker, who is in every way my ideal man, but...
Ultimately, I had to close with one of Hollywood's big guns, John Ireland, who on a 1967 installment of Daniel Boone wiped everybody else out of the picture.
That first photo in this set doesn't really reveal anything, but look what happens when he twists his frame!
I really don't know what could top this (in mainstream media anyway), so that's where I will end. Happy hunting everyone!