Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Poseidon On Screen

You know, for close to eleven years now, I've been paying tribute to beloved stars of the screen, big and small, and to countless movie and TV projects that I adore. From the age of eighteen (if not before), learning about and devoting free time to classic television and movies has been my passion. It all started with four things. I was obsessed with both Joan Collins of Dynasty and Eleanor Parker of The Sound of Music (1965.) So I began to seek out other projects of theirs from earlier in their careers, which sent me down a rabbit hole full of gorgeous and captivating movies. Then there was the unearthing (after years of being out of circulation) of several 1950s Alfred Hitchcock movies such as Rear Window (1954) and Vertigo (1958.) Once I saw those, I had to see every other sound film he ever made. Then there was a coffee table book I bought called "The Illustrated Who's Who of the Cinema." In those pre-Internet days, a resource like that was invaluable to a burgeoning classic movie buff. Later, the unbelievably extensive (though still not entirely complete) imdb.com website made it so much easier to research the work of all one's favorite stars or to locate certain programs. Though I have been a local stage performer for 25 years, it never in a million years crossed my mind that one day my own name might be found among the seemingly countless listings of that website. But - as I pinch myself - it is there! I'll get to that in a moment though.

During this recent COVID-19 pandemic, I - like many people - have been sheltering in place and working from home (being lucky enough to still keep my job, as countless others have not!) It's been one wild ride all along. As a single person, the isolation has not in any way been easy, especially when you're a person like myself who practically lives to make other people chortle with laughter at any given moment. In order to do something other than sit at my computer all day during work hours, followed by sitting all night in front of the TV set, I began making short videos, confessionals of a sort, using characters that I dreamed up: Jerrold and Lorabeth Holtmesser. This may or may not be your cup of tea, but on the chance that they might give you a smile during these long, dull days, I am sharing. They run about 3 or 4 minutes as a rule. I am NOT making fun of or light of the virus. This is my coping mechanism for the isolation and my way of trying to lighten the dark mood of the times we're in.

Jerrold is about as far afield from me as you can get! I like to be (or, I should say, used to like to be!) neatly-dressed, carefully-groomed and well-spoken. He is gruff, busted-looking and just this side of trashy. He has a heart of gold underneath his rowdy exterior, though. Lorabeth is his put-upon wife, who does all she can to maintain a comfortable and secure household, but is occasionally undone by the events around her. So far there have been eight of these in all. There is occasional language, but nothing too bad. It began as a simple one-off, but the demands of friends and family dictated that I produce more whenever the germ of an idea struck me. (I say "produce..." these are nearly all done on one-take with a budget of $1.07 - for all eight! LOL I spent one dollar on one prop for one video. Everything else was in my possession as a result of countless Halloweens and theatrical efforts.) Catch me back at the end of this post for more about imdb.com

Jerrold# 1 - The first time we ever meet this grumbling but amusingly raggedy character.

Jerrold# 2 - Jerrold is back with some keen observations about his neighbors. (This video somehow was ended abruptly during upload to youtube, with about 30 non-essential seconds lopped off.)

Jerrold# 3 - The night before Easter and Jerrold is in the house...

Lorabeth# 1 - Our first glimpse of the gently-oppressed wife of Jerrold. (I have put SO much weight on since the pandemic, but even given that I look inexplicably extra-gargantuan in this one! LOL)

Jerrold# 4 - Jerrold is given the task of figuring out a mystery in their general vicinity.

Lorabeth# 2 - Lorabeth comes face-to-face with one of the pandemic's non-medical yet undeniably horrible side effects.

Jerrold #5 - Jerrold's desire to keep a little bit of money on hand at home goes terribly awry...

Lorabeth# 3 - The virus isn't enough. Crazy weather isn't enough. Now this!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So... onto the next part of this post. I may have mentioned previously that last Fourth of July I took part in the filming of an independent movie. I didn't get my hopes up too awfully high and it is actually the third professional gig I have done for the screen, though the first two projects did not proceed very far. However, this one has really taken off as of late! It has made the rounds of the film festival circuit and been granted quite a few citations/awards, including one for me (albeit as part of the film's Ensemble!)

If you come here often, you know I am always at work. (I haven't taken a single day off this year thus far.) So I was only available a limited period of time to participate in the project. Fortunately, they were filming over a holiday weekend and I could use those days in addition to a little time away from the office with which to join in. The movie (Our Scripted Life, 2020) is about a soap opera actor who's in love with a female costar. In order to win her over, he develops a movie all his own in which he and she can star and, perhaps, fall in love. Midway through the movie, a crazed rural family is introduced of which I play the patriarch, Stump Turner. The role required some aging and graying (yes!) in order for me to play this grizzly, crotchety old farmhand. I really only have one considerable scene with brief appearances a couple of times elsewhere because of my limited participation, so it elated me to find that I was placed upon the film's poster among the rest of the yahoos...!

To further add to the excitement, the movie has just been added to Amazon Prime's lineup of movies for rent or for sale! And, as you may have guessed, this has led to me having an honest to goodness imdb.com profile (with a "starmeter rating" somewhere down below pond scum! LOLOL But I don't care. It's just fun to be a part of it all. But, hey, I got billing on the Amazon page...!) Should you opt to watch this movie, you should be aware that it is in the vein of the popular gross-out comedies we see a lot of these days. The target audience is younger than me (what isn't?!) There is language and also adult situations. My own part is generally free of this, not because I wouldn't do it but because my character is fundamentally religious. Please forgive me for hijacking my own site to publicize myself, but I don't think it's too wrong to do after more than a decade of highlighting so many other people! We'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming very soon.  Thanks and love, Poseidon!

15 comments:

BrianB said...

Oh my Lord those movies were so funny! I really needed a laugh today and I got several! I think my favorite moment was *spoiler alert!* when Jerrold took the clip out of his hair and put it on the generic Doritos bag! And you know, Lorabeth did look cute in the hat and the several layers of lipstick!

I hope we have more visits from Jerrold and Lorabeth. For now the guessing game is which prop cost $1.07. I'm torn between Lorabeth's frying pan or the murder bee!

And congratulations on the IMBD listing! I will get to the movie soon!

BrianB

rigs-in-gear said...

DADDY: I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR MY NAME COME OUT YOUR MOUTH IN ANY MORE OF THEM EMBARRASSING "VIDEO DIARIES"! I'M ALREADY THE LAUGHING STOCK OF ALL MY FRIENDS AND STAY OFF MY FACEBOOK!
-YOUR LOVING DARTER

Scooter said...

Congrats on the movie and IMDB posting! Also, thanks for the Jerrold and Lorabeth videos. There a hoot and just the break I need during shelter in place!

loulou de la falaise said...

Congratulation on your movie, you are the best. I so enjoy Poseidon's Underworld, and hearing about your career and you as a person. Wishing you continued success and happiness.

Gingerguy said...

Poseidon, congratulations! I enjoyed Jerrold and Lorabeth. She is pretty, like a blond Yvonne De Carlo, lol. They could singlehandedly reboot Hee Haw for the pandemic generation. Amazing that you have that many props.
I remember the film shoot and that's awesome it's making the rounds. Thanks for letting us know you are immortalized on my favorite reference site, IMDB,

Poseidon3 said...

BrianB, I'm so glad you got a kick out of these. If one person's day was brightened, it was worth it, so counting you my work is done! LOL You know, I wanted Jerrold's hair to fall down when the clip came out but that poor wig is so overused that it stayed in place!! LOLOL In my mind, I was Jane Seymour in "Somewhere in Time" in the tub, but in truth it was more like The Loch Ness Monster! That wig was purchased for about $40.00 more than 20 years ago and I kid you not it has helped to win me over $1,000.00 in various contests!! And a friend of mine also borrowed it and won a lip-sync contest with it!!! Such lucky fibers in it. It's been in theatre productions, done time on Halloween. It's been everywhere, man. Lorabeth just wanted a "hint!" Ha ha ha ha!!! Riigghht. And, yes, I was creeping through Dollar Tree not long after learning about the murder hornets and saw that oversized bee in a tray of insects! I didn't like the way it looked so I took some furniture repair markers and added more depth of detail to it. I keep coming across it in the house and freaking.....! Thanks!!

rigs-in-gear, HYSTERICAL!!! Poor Misty...

Scooter, I'm so happy that you liked these crazy, low-rent videos. "I try my best for ya."

loulou, thanks a million for your kind words! I appreciate it very much.

Gingerguy, if I had the technology I could try for an Eddie Murphy/Nutty Professor and play everyone at once (or that Progressive insurance lady who, I confess, works my nerves.) But, alas, I have the technological acumen of a sand flea. Poor Yvonne De Carlo!! Maybe in her Lily Munster guise. LOLOL Thanks much, as usual.

Poseidon3 said...

rigs-in-gear, you are clairvoyant! I couldn't say anything the other day, but this has been in the pipeline for a little while now. You're gonna want to see this (as will anyone else who might be interested!) :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOLgBMjfPpI&t=325s

BrianB said...

OMG I just watched a You Tube clip of Julie London singing Fly Me To The Moon on A Day with the Princess Borghese site and when it ended Misty was in the You Tube feed! So is Entertainment Weekly really going monthly and they aren't changing their name? I know brand identity is important but Lorabeth has a point!

BrianB

Poseidon3 said...

Yes, BrianB, it's all true!! I was a FOUNDING subscriber to EW way back in the late-80s, then I got miffed at them (for renewing my subscription charges without even asking) and gave them up for quite a while. A year and a half ago, my (not truly) little "nephew" was selling subscriptions and I found I could get a year's worth for about $0.10 a copy, which was lunacy! So I did it. Then the year was up and I got a similar deal so I renewed. First, they were always doing "double issues" after which you wouldn't get one for two weeks. Then the wait grew longer! I then discovered that they'd gone monthly... So God only knows how long this subscription will last! LOLOL But, yeah, it's stupid to call it Entertainment Weekly still. Just go with a large EW on the cover and be done with it. Nearly everything the Holtmessers do or have happen to them has some sort of seed in actuality. I went through a very similar "murder hornet" scenario last summer only it was a lizard/salamander that had gotten into my house!!! I referred to that as my own personal version of "Jurassic Park!" Ha ha ha!!!

Donald Lam said...

You are certainly multitalented, Poseidon! Your videos are a hoot and your movie looks very entertaining. You always bring joy into our lives, in different ways. Congratulations.

Poseidon3 said...

Donald, thank you very much! You're very kind to take time to comment.

Huston said...

Man, Poseidon, you're good!
Why don't you have your own sitcom? You would give Hyacinth Bucket some competition!

Poseidon3 said...

Huston, thank you so much!! (BTW, I LOVE "Keeping Up Appearances!") I am clinically insane which helps when depicting loony characters. Ha ha ha!! The director of "Our Scripted Life" is preparing a sequel based upon the rural characters who appear in the second half of the movie (of which I am the patriarch) and I hope to be free enough to appear in that more when it finally comes about. (With the way things are, could be a year or two!) Till then, I guess it's the crazy Holtmessers because I really don't forsee any theatre in my near future! Take care. I appreciate it!

Ken Anderson said...

"Dollar Tree sunglasses" Ha!!
Poseidon-- I'm a bit late on this post, but I stay away a few months and come back to a movie and YouTube star! Congratulations on your film, poster, and IMDB listing. It must be so thrilling!
Plus, your lockdown YouTube personas are hilarious and so remind me of when Lily Tomlin could turn a brief comedy skit into a comical character study. Bravo!
I don't know that I've ever heard you speak before (I've heard your wonderful singing voice) but I am getting a big kick out of seeing what a marvelous actor you are. And that goes for your writing. I'm so happy for you and thrilled that you coped with a very trying time by creating something so funny. My gosh, just so impressed. I'll be checking out your film. Glad to see you're doing so well.

Poseidon3 said...

Wow, Ken, I am so very honored that you found li'l ol' me entertaining this way! After all, you're out there right in the thick of La La Land and have met and worked with bonafide stars! I'm very flattered. I've been worn to an absolute frazzle lately, so I haven't done another video in a while. (It's also hard, for reasons obvious, to switch back and forth between the characters since I keep a goatee for "fat camouflage" and the female characters don't have one! Ha ha!! -- That's why Lorabeth has a mask on in one!) I'm actually not doing THAT well. It's been an emotionally draining and depressing period for me. But... I try to be optimistic and lift my own - and hopefully others' - spirits with my zaniness. Typical comedian. Funny on the outside, tragic on the inside. But some close friends have helped drag me through the worst of it, especially now that I'm not alone 24/7 and can occasionally meet up with a few people. Take care and thank you so much again for your endorsement. It means a lot! :-)