TinselTales: Tubby Togetherness

Over the years we've dedicated more than a bit of blog space to TV and movie stars in the bathtub. (We first turned on the faucet in 2011, with several others since.) In fact, we just did another post on the topic here. So I can't fathom how I never came across this gem before...! And since I do not have time for one of my regular marathon posts, nor do I wish to wait until I have more tub pics, I'm going to highlight it on its own today.

Now I did once post this pic from Massacre River (1949), but I never had seen the movie proper where it could be placed in context.

The movie's poster, rudimentary to say the least, gives no hint at all of the fun to be had within the first several minutes.

If you didn't recognize their faces from the first photo or take note of their names on the poster, the stars are dark-haired Rory Calhoun and light-brown-haired Guy Madison. They play U.S. Cavalrymen, back from a dusty mission and eager to get clean (ostensibly because they both love the same girl who is located on the grounds of the fort...) A giddy woman tells them that the first person to get to the bath she's just prepared will be the cleanest!

With that, they begin tearing through the streets of the fort to get back to their bunkhouse, removing their belts along the way and, in Calhoun's case, opening his pants and beginning to slip them off! A scuffle ensues near the doorway with Madison straddling Calhoun in a couple of positions.

As they head into their private, two-man living quarters (!), Calhoun's pants are down below his ass, showing us a good idea of what he looks like with nothing on...! Their names, as seen on the door, are Acton and Knight. I bet the (k)nights around there saw some act(i)on!

Madison is delayed outside briefly and when he comes into the quarters, Calhoun is soaking in the hot, sudsy water!

A moment like this is fun enough for a 1949 movie, but it gets even better.

...and, you know, cigars held quite a bit of phallic symbolism back in the day.

Anyway, Madison gets so incensed at Calhoun beating him that he comes over and dunks him headfirst into the water.

Then (ostensibly) naked Calhoun takes hold of his buddy...

...and hurls him into the water with him!

They grapple and writhe around for several moments before the scene shifts.

Unfortunately, we don't get to see whatever went down, so to speak, in the interim, but now Calhoun is shaving and Madison is taking his turn in the tub.

Madison is renowned as one of the most handsome men in the movies of the mid-1940s. A sailor discovered by infamous talent agent Henry Willson, he set teenage girls' hearts aflutter with a brief appearance in Since You Went Away (1944) and proceeded to a healthy screen career.

These pics of dreamy Guy are so similar, but I simply couldn't stop myself. I had to capture practically every variation in gesture and gaze that he was giving us...!

Does this pose mean anything!?

When the third party has left the room, Calhoun decides he needs to have a more up close and personal chat with Madison.

It's about this woman (named - I'm not making this up - Kitty.) Calhoun hovers over the naked, soapy Madison with one leg up on the edge of the tub and expresses his deep love. For her!

Note the crossed swords on the wall. Did any other swordplay happen in this bunkhouse? Is it getting hot in here or is it me??

Nearly lifelong friends, Madison and Calhoun were husbands, fathers and neighbors, but may also have been friends with benefits. If you believe writer Robert Hofler, the two were observed by their mutual agent Willson going at it like minks in a car during a thunderstorm in 1946. (Madison was the bottom, if that matters to you!) Madison protested that it was a one-time thing, but Calhoun allegedly fessed up later that it had been occurring for months, which is what Willson had surmised. By the time of this 1949 film, they were quite comfortable with one-another, but it's remarkable to see this sort of horseplay between them on screen.

Calhoun, who'd been in jail as a youth (something which Confidential magazine turned into a cover story once he hit it big), was the more rugged of the two. Willson had nicknamed them "the thug and the sailor" while also taking note of their fast-forming compatibility. Here are a few more portraits of these two handsome leading men of the 1940s and 1950s cinema.

Oh My God... MARRY ME! Ha ha ha!! 
(If you would like to watch the scene in question, click here, which takes you to just before bathtime!)

UPDATE: Check out this utterly sensual animated .gif sent to me by devoted Poseidon's Underworld diver Floyd Alsop. Wowza!