Slices of British Beef

It all began innocently enough. A good friend of mine happened to alert me to the fact that a 1981 installment of BBC2 Playhouse (Season 8, Episode 1 - "Mrs. Reinhardt") contained a scene that might be of interest to me. So I dutifully checked it out and was happy to see it. Further discussion led me to two other obscure (to me, anyway!) projects and the three combined led me to the idea behind today's post. Full disclosure is that the first subject was not a Brit, but the program he worked on was... On we go. 

The Playhouse script was based upon a short story by Edna O'Brien, a prolific Irish writer.

 

Helen Mirren stars as the title character, a wife who's fled to the south of France after discovering that her husband has cheated on her. 

Dejected over the failure of her marriage, she's unable to fully enjoy the hotel she's staying in (with other lovebirds in attendance, among other things), nor the presumably restful atmosphere of the locale. 

The hotel proprietor suggests a visit to the shore.

So, selecting a hideous hat to protect her horrible hair, she sets off in a car to the vast expanse of the sea. 

The surrounding terrain is craggy and uncertain, but she makes her way across some rocks to a nearby bunker, a leftover structure from WWII.

Nearby, out of her sight, is a nude man swimming about like a happy dolphin, occasionally raising his white behind out of the water for all of us to see. 

Not that we're complaining! She hasn't noticed him (somehow!), but he sees her.

"Are you lookin' at my bum?"

The skinny-dipper makes his way to the edge of the rocks in order to emerge and put some clothes on.  

Have you been able to determine who our little Flipper is? 

He makes his way up to the bunker from the underside in order to touch base with Mirren. If you still don't recognize him (this pic, in addition to the poor quality of the video, isn't the world's greatest help), I will now reveal:

Brad Davis had become a sensation in 1978 for his leading role in Midnight Express. This BBC program was evidently shown in the US judging from this Cleveland, Ohio television directory from a Sunday newspaper. Amazing that it was selected as the cover image for that week!

After lurking for a few moments...

...Davis makes his presence known and greets Mirren from beneath the opening. 

Then he proceeds to explain about their existence along the shore. 

Through the course of the afternoon, he proceeds to charm her. 

She, and her hat, seems to be blossoming under the attention of this young man.  

Before all is said and done, he's climbed through her bathroom window while she's showering and is caressing her with a long-stemmed flower, whose petals fall on her wet body. 

The FTD delivery man never went this far..!

Next thing ya know, fully-clothed Davis is in there and in her! Should you wish to indulge in this hour and fifteen minute presentation, it's on YouTube right here. 

As I say, Davis had become very well-known for his role in Express, earning BAFTA nominations for Best Actor and Most Promising Newcomer to Leading Roles (losing to Richard Dreyfus in The Goodbye Girl and Christopher Reeve in Superman.)

The movie, based on a book by a young man (Billy Hayes) who'd made the fateful error of smuggling drugs and landing in a brutal Turkish prison, earned Davis much praise.

He's seen here on location with John Hurt (far left) and the real Hayes (blond) to whom bore no resemblance at all apart from "dressing" right! (I should also add that, while the real Hayes partook in a male-male relationship while in prison, the movie made a point of having Davis refuse the opportunity.)

Though Davis proceeded to a fairly extensive career (including the Oscar-winning Chariots of Fire, 1981), he was often beset by personal and substance issues. He died far too young in 1991 of AIDS at age 41.

One of his most unusual (and controversial) roles came with 1982's Querelle, the final film of Rainer Werner Fassbinder, which gave fans of Davis plenty to obsess over.

Discussion over the brief nudity in "Mrs Reinhardt" led to my being informed of the first time male frontal nudity was depicted on British television. The event occurred in 1973 within a project featuring the famed 15th century Dutch painting "Garden of Earthly Delights." 

The 45-minute teleplay was called A Point in Time and starred a young London-born actor named Christopher Neame. The project is very "arty" and begins with his thoughts being heard in voice-over as he contemplates life.  

Neame enjoyed a nearly 50-year career on screen as an actor and, no matter the role, seemed to consistently supply this particular expression with the pursed lips. 

He finds himself strolling down the street until coming to a massive art museum where he's drawn to the Hieronymus Bosch work. 

I know that, again thanks to degenerated picture quality, you cannot really see this artwork as it appears in the movie. 

So I benevolently give you a higher quality copy of the piece. I have all the artistic appreciation of a sand flea, so I cannot really comment on the contents of this busy masterwork, but I can tell you that when you look at it closely, there's some shit goin' on! LOL 

While gazing at the "Garden of Earthly Delights," he's approached by a man who begins speaking to him and, before you know it, he's escorted into an alternate world; the world of the painting! 

This was directed by a man by the name of Carlos Pasini Hansen, who wrote, produced and directed a number of Italian projects. To me, the influence from Fellini and Pasolini was pretty evident. 

Anyway, Neame begins to travel through the landscape alone, going from the rocky, treacherous terrain to a greener area in the valley. 

There, he finds three nude lovelies enjoying a picnic! Here is where things become rather eye-popping. This is, after all, 1973 British television, not 1990s Cinemax or Showtime!

The naked gals head up to him and begin peeling off his clothing. (As you know, I do not typically post frontal nudity here, but the picture quality is such that this barely qualifies!) We see Neame in the altogether. Thing is, he's not just nude, but also is at half-mast! Turn away, Nana!

He's being caressed and de-clothed by this trio, who won't even let him hang on to his necklaces. 

Thus begins a sensuous fade-in/fade-out of - basically - MFFF softcore group sex!

I mean, no, there's no penetration or anything like that, but this isn't exactly Are You Being Served? either!

Suffice it to say that, in the name or art or not, the likelihood of a sequence like this appearing on 1973 US network television would've been, uh, like 0.001%

Before long, this little soiree is interrupted by the arrival of a few mounted soldiers. 

Neame is understandably unsure of what is happening. 

One of the men is tasked with issuing him a cloak in order to cover himself. 

Thus, for his next set of adventures, he's seen this way. 

That is, until near the end when he decides to disrobe (in this case literally) once again. 

As the program is nearing its clothes, er, close, he spies a boatman out in the water. 

And he swims out to meet his fate. I've only provided highlights from this, which can be seen in its entirety here on Vimeo. The upload was done by the director himself from a videotaped copy and I find it said that even he couldn't come up with a more pristine edition of the groundbreaking work. 

If Mr. Neame seems familiar to you, you may have seen him in various TV shows such as Dr. Who, Colditz, MacGyver, Murder, She Wrote or Babylon 5. Also, as seen here, he appeared opposite Timothy Dalton in 1989's License to Kill. 

Early on, he'd appeared in Lust for a Vampire (1971) and, as seen here in the background, Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972) with Miss Stephanie Beacham in distress. 

What a surprise to see them reunited in 1988 on Dynasty, where he played a cohort of hers, Hamilton Stone, who helps her to bump into Joan Collins' Alexis. He did three episodes (and also did three on Dallas as Gustav Hellstrom.) Though Neame is still with us today at 77, he retired in 2019.

Unfortunately for him, the market for smirking young lads with long hair had all but been cornered by one Malcolm McDowall, at left, who he resembled somewhat. Still, as I say, he managed to carve out a lengthy screen career for himself. 

Our third and final example comes from another 1973 made-for-TV project. Achilles Heel tells the story of a top British footballer who finds his considerable success in jeopardy following an injury.

Martin Shaw stars as the much-admired, but fading sportsman. The show's opening finds him wrestling awake around 7:30am after a fitful sleep. 

He sits on the side of his bed, rubbing a shoulder that has likely had its share of punishment along with his calf and ankle. 

He and his wife's master suite is completely open with the bathtub, shower and toilet (!) in full view of the bed. 

He stands at the sink after pulling the cord at right to turn on the light. (Remember those days, oldsters?!)

He gives the ol' chompers a going over with an electric toothbrush. Note, it is not cordless! Also note the "fabulous" morning hairstyle...

...which he for some reason bothers to protect with a shower cap as he doffs his pajama bottoms and heads into the enclosure. 

Some strategically-placed frosted designs protect his modesty to a degree. 

However, as wifey gets up in the longer shot, we can make out a little more. 

And in a brief flash, perhaps even more than that. 

As she makes her way to the (quite cluttered) vanity table, we get one of the better views of Shaw in the shower. Keep in mind, this isn't a movie, but early-1970s British television!

She is bleary as she wipes her face (and conveniently provides a bit of cover while Shaw steps out and slips on his robe.) Incidentally, though it's this way in 98% of movies and TV shows, it always irks me when characters wake up and don't pee...! I understand why, but it's not very true to life when that step is skipped over. 

Shaw steps behind her and is vigorously drying himself off with the terrycloth robe. 

And while you can't see anything, it does fling open a time or two. 

In a startling moment, we see him pull on some purple jockey shorts and it's quite obvious that they are all he has on. 

Even more amazing is the moment when he reaches into the pouch of said shorts and begins arranging himself!

Once he has everything where he wants it, he takes a moment to admire himself in the mirror. 

Finally, she looks at him and asks him if he's satisfied!

Shaw is at a real crossroads. He may be significantly injured and his team is considering trading him. 

An unusual opportunity (or perhaps exploitation) comes along when a somewhat shifty acquaintance of his, who he helps financially, wants him and his wife to model some new swimsuits the company has coming out. Despite the blue drawing being held before him, it's the more abbreviated red ones in the inset we will see later. 

At the stadium, his personal trainer gives him a working over. 

The badly bruised calf presents a problem. 

When the coach comes in, they discuss his condition while he lies there like a slab of meat. 

Eager to join in the conversation which concerns his livelihood and well-being, he turns over and gives us several "up the shorts" peeks. 

Ultimately, his banged up leg is given an injection to help disperse the blood. 

Sprinkled throughout the program are several filmed (rather than videotaped) outdoor sequences, including football practice. Too bad this lot didn't wind up in a group shower!

Speaking of... After more chit-chat with his coach and a reporter, Shaw drops trou again and heads to one of the locker room showers. 

This bit goes by in a whip-stitch as Shaw darts through the doorway...

...flings his towel off...

...and hops into the shower. It's surprising that a team shower room would have all these curtains up, but I digress. It's a brief, yes, but very arresting scene to have in a television program from this time. 

Shaw just cannot seem to catch a break when it comes to pleasing his coach and keeping his status quo. (This program has many similar themes as the 1969 Charlton Heston NFL football movie, Number One.) 

Back home, we get to see what Shaw's wife looks like when her hair hasn't been pressed and matted into a clump overnight. LOL 

I mean, that's some big hair. She's got on a new nightie and was hoping that her husband might take notice, but he's got his mind on other things. 

He regrets having to disappoint her, but the walls are closing in. 

The day of the swimsuit photo shoot, Shaw and his wife are treated like meat much the same way he has been at the stadium. 

The photographer takes one look at her and decides that her breasts are all wrong. 

To Shaw's dismay, the photographer begins taping them together to generate more cleavage. 

Then he informs her that her hair is too bouffant and asks her to brush it out! (Marilyn, in the portrait behind her, was no stranger to teased hair.) He even asks a female associate to put on a suit as well, in case Shaw's wife can't cut it...! 

Next comes his turn. 

The snaps being taken as the shoot begins are akin to police station mug shots. 

Once again, the photographer is disappointed in the "model" he's been given. 

Dig the lace-up sides on this suit. Interesting tan lines the night after a day at the beach!

What comes next really ticks Shaw off. 

The photographer grabs a box of tissues and wants Shaw to stuff his trunks with them so that his bulge will be bigger...!! 

By the time the other chick makes her way onto the set (if a large piece of tan paper can be called a set), he's really had it. 

He informs his associate that the jig is up and he and his wife leave in a huff. 

Achilles Heel, like the other shows profiled here today, won't be to everyone's liking, but should you wish to watch all or part of it, the YT link is here. Some viewers see a resemblance to Jude Law in Shaw, which I can understand, but I think Law's features were a little more refined. 

Shaw had been acting for several years prior to this and went on to further success. Perhaps his biggest success came with the TV show The Professionals (and, as seen here, he needed no facial tissues!) There was also the hit show The Sweeney. 

Though relatively unknown in the US (something that wouldn't be the case had he accepted the offer to play The Equalizer, with Edward Woodward took), Shaw emerged as a lasting and popular actor in the UK, with many movies and TV programs to his credit. He last worked steadily in 2021. He is 80 today. 

The End!

The End!

This time I mean it... The End!