Cracking Open a Miller

If a single one of you has ever seen this movie, I will be gobsmacked. Since I have been wallowing in low-level, obscure trash for so long and streaming sites know our every move, this lesser-known flick Redneck Miller (1976) was recommended to me by Tubi. Its origins are rather fascinating. A Charlotte, North Carolina drive-in movie owner, who profited well from the exhibition of exploitive fare, eventually began helping to produce locally-made product that would be shown at his establishment. Miller was the last in a string of movies that the man helped get made (he died just a couple of years after) and it's regarded as the highest in overall quality of said films. (Others include Hot Summer in Barefoot County, 1974, and Truckin' Man, 1975, which I have also seen!) While not good in any way, it's appealingly photographed and contains quite a few hooty moments. This film is a must for vintage car, motorcycle and pickup truck enthusiasts, but I really dug the time capsule elements such as the clothes and decor. 

A prologue features this gem, what appears to be a 1969 Ford Torino (I'm not by any means an expert, so don't sue me if I'm wrong) with a hilarious custom hood ornament. These two hoods are in a field to retrieve a parachute drop of drugs, but before they can get what they need, a motorcycle rider swings by and takes the stuff! 

The movie then starts off promisingly with this. 

The actor's name is Geoffrey Land and he plays the title character, a disc jockey at a country station named "Redneck Miller." He's awakened from slumber by a variety of clinks and clanks outside his apartment. 

He turns on the light, allowing us to see what we're in for. 

As we go along, you may see what I mean when I say that Land looks familiar and yet doesn't really look like anyone in particular. It's like someone took teeny bits of DNA from Hugh O'Brian, Jorge Rivero, Robert Horton, John Gavin and Tom Tryon and put them in a centrifuge until this was the result. Yet he's not necessarily as handsome as any one of those men! 

As he leans over to plant a morning kiss on his live-in gal, we find that he sleeps in the raw, so that's a mark in his favor! Ha ha! 

In case you're wondering, that's not a XXX magazine on his nightstand, but merely a motorcycle enthusiast publication which included sexy girls in it, many were once newsstand staples.

Outside, his bike is in fact being replaced onto the bed of his pickup after having been used by someone in the drug absconding! 

As he tries to get his girlfriend's engine racing, he continues to hear odd noises outside his place, so he gets up to investigate...

...at which point I decided that I was indeed going to continue watching this movie. 

Peeking out into the parking lot, he finds that both his truck and his bike seem all right. The bike thief has put everything back in order by now, so he sees nothing amiss. 

Land proceeds to wash up and get ready for work. 

But not before climbing back onto the bed to get playful with his girlfriend again. 

When she leaves the house, she discovers this amulet on the ground of their parking lot. It was one of the things that made noise earlier when it fell. The signs of the Zodiac are featured on it, six on each side. Hello, 1970s!

Land heads to work at the radio station, which is allegedly housed in this building. It's a hilariously deserted place, inside and out, with human interaction close to nil! I do have to say that, in its day, that. custom truck was probably a huge hit with young men.

Now we meet the drug kingpin who was awaiting that shipment. He is also awakened early while next to his lady love. 

He informs her that he's been ripped off and is gonna take care of whoever did it. His two men were at least able to identify the bike that was used for the getaway.

Inside the station, Land is spinning all the latest country hits. 

Outside, the henchmen have spotted his bike parked in front of the building and they prepare to close in. Dig that $0.53/gallon gas, man....! 

Land is abducted at gunpoint and taken to the disgruntled kingpin. In his tan slacks, he shows some really atrocious panty-lines, thanks to some very snug briefs, but does sometimes afford us a reasonable glimpse of his package. 

He's threatened about returning the stuff, but in fact has no clue what on earth these men are talking about! Somehow, he manages to take on all three guys and get out of there. 

Back home, we get a brief glimpse of the contents of his refrigerator. Hilariously, it has a huge can of V-8, a small can of tea (his girlfriend's?) and a bunch of tall Schlitz brewskies. Schlitz is featured prominently in this movie as if no other beer existed! We also get a nice glimpse of his snug pants here. (Also: Do take note that the pass-through from the kitchen has brown shag carpet adhered to its side!)

As he tends to the minor injuries sustained while held by the bad guys, we spy vintage Avon cologne bottles (!) on the bathroom shelf. 

In this film, there's almost a fetishistic way of having Land change shirts often. During this instance, it gets a little bulge-y along the way.

His next stop is to a local pool hall/arcade. I thought some of you might like to see these old pinball machines.

He's on the hunt for a guy who owes him some money and suspects that he's hiding out in the men's room. This place has nary a woman in sight, but for some reason has a gargantuan sign that indicates the door. I also had to chuckle not only at the little plastic bowl of popcorn on the bar, but also the full jar of pickles (!) set out for discerning guests. 

Now maybe I was born too late, but this also floored me. Two toilets, side by side, with no divider (much less a stall) and one guy dropping kids in the pool while another pees! (Actually, he's only faking it - trying to keep his back turned in order to not be recognized by Land.) 

That plan doesn't work and he ends up getting a "swirlie!" Other amusing observations. There's a (unseen) sign in there that says "Don't Write on the Walls" -- so people wrote on lots of the tiles instead?!? Also, the guy on the can... he's got almost no Charmin in the holder next to him! Thankfully, there's a good sized roll sitting on top of the trash bin. LOL

Not a floozy to be found. But one of the guys playing pool is shirtless! 

Land has a conflict with one of the patrons (the one in the plaid shirt), which the owner (and his hysterical bouncer) breaks up (or at least advises them to take outside.) 

Much of the acting in this is lame, but I thought this guy was pretty decent. Check out that porn stache! 

It's always Schlitz time, but Land takes time out for a ham and cheese sandwich. Even considering the girlfriend's likely influence, it cracked me up how wildly coordinated the colors are in his apartment. Aside from the brown, everything else seems to be lime green or lemon yellow. Even the pillar candles. 

It's like the place was "brought to you by Sprite!"

Maybe I'm not experienced enough, but I thought most couples had their side of the bed, but he's swapped it in this scene. (Yet still has nothing on from the looks of it.) 

The following day sees him back at the station slinging records. (LOVE this shirt, by the way.) 

Listening at home is a bewigged housewife with a Ferdinand the Bull stuffed animal who is only keeping her in so much company. 

She calls him up and invites him to come over for some afternoon delight because she's got the car and her husband can't come home unless she goes and gets him! This gal is meant to be ultra-sexy, but I thought she had a mustache that nearly rivaled the earlier guy from the pool hall! Ha ha! 

Surely, the residents of Charlotte must appreciate this time capsule of their fair city, even though the story line often places characters in the grodiest sections of the region. Here we see a remarkably empty street and a large ad for the now-defunct, but once popular restaurant Bonanza in which iced tea will only cost you a nickel when you buy a meal! 

While headed over to Miss Hotsy-Totsy's, Land comes upon a stranded motorist with a flat tire. It's the drug kingpin's girlfriend! She's having trouble getting the spare out, but she does obvious junk in her trunk! (Note he's driving along with an ever-present Schlitz in his hand. Brings back memories of my father dropping off my step-sister at St. Henry grade school in his own piss-yellow pickup. She'd open the door to get out and empty cans of Miller Lite would tumble to the ground!)

Land helps the young miss with her problem and then she, feeling the need for repayment, spends some time with him in the front seat... horizontally!

At the local gas station, Land feels the need to spend a quarter for a helium balloon from a vending machine (!) The man with him is the station's owner and the hapless husband of the lady who called him at the radio station to come over. She is peeved that he skipped out on their rendezvous. (The balloon machine makes a point of containing "inert" helium, whatever that is. It's things like this which make low-rent, local film-making so fascinating to me.)

Though there is no plot similarity at all, I had to wonder if Clint Eastwood's role in the hit Play Misty for Me (1971) inspired the makers of this to have their hero be a disc jockey. (BTW, the reason Land is the only actor in this who I name is because he's really the only one who ever did very much, and even that wasn't a ton.) 

Apart from low-budget exploitation fare like Redneck Miller, he also won jobs on series like The Rockford Files, Police Story and, later, Barnaby Jones. He also played an American Indian in Against a Crooked Sky (1975), which starred Richard Boone. He also had worked for Orson Welles in the troubled 1970s production The Other Side of the Wind, which never saw release until finally put together in 2018. By 1983, he'd ceased working as an actor on screen. 

Anyway, Land gets another call from the hot-to-trot wife of the gas station owner, requesting a makeup visit for his missed appointment the day before. 

This time he makes it. I mean makes it over there. Well, and also makes it! Ha! 

Afterwards, she needs a cigarette while he is ready for yet another tall can of Schlitz!

Shortly after she leaves the bed, he hears her scream. 

Slipping on some jeans and darting out to the living room, he gets a nasty surprise. The drug czar and his henchmen are in the house!

They are done fooling around and want the missing drugs. Now. 

He manages once again to defeat the rather bungling trio and when he returns to the house, there is an immortal dialogue exchange. She says, "You were going to let them rape me!" and he responds with, "Baby, you can take a lot of lovin', but I can only get killed once." !!

Back home, his girlfriend (remember her?!) is fed up and moving out. Not because he's banged two other gals in the last two days. She's just disgusted by his "John Wayne routine"when it comes to trying to fight off the men who are after him!

He's unhappy to see her go, but there is work to be done. The drug dealers are not going to just let the situation drop.

As Land goes on the offensive with regards to the men who are threatening him, he checks out various places around town. One of them is Spoon's ice cream parlor. This place was a local institution since the late 1920s when Whitney and Elizabeth Spoon opened the shop to sell their legendary ice cream (38 homemade flavors and beloved ice cream sandwiches.) Beloved by practically everyone, a widowed Elizabeth sold the place in 1978, not long after this movie was filmed. It remained in business (without any of her recipes) for a time, but ultimately went out of business.

The building still stands today at 413 Hawthorne St and is a restaurant called Sabor. 

Land runs into his nemesis again at the pool hall while stopping for a beer, irritated that the guy is now putting the make on his newly-ex girlfriend. 

Soon enough, it's back on the case as he follows one of the henchmen who's been tormenting him to a massage parlor. He pays off the "masseuse" so that he can step in. 

But instead of healing hands, he pulls out a knife!

Land's ex is over at her friend's house and has Mr. Mustache over for a drink. 

But it's her second drink that winds up being the most fateful. 

And as the movie draws to its conclusion, two men who've been agitated with one another for most of its running time come to blows. Throughout this film, regardless of its country trash/Blaxploitation atmosphere, there really is not very much blood to be found. Even in the finale it's not extraordinary and its just about the only time you really see any. For a movie of this type, there isn't, perhaps, as much to offend the more sensitive types out there. (Not a lot of language, no use of the "n" word which could be prevalent then, not a lot of savagery, etc... It's more of a good ol' boy flick with elements of light comedy.) Should you wish to spend an hour and a half with it, this is the free-with-ads link on Tubi.

Staying true to form, Land removes his shirt one last time before the fade-out!

The End!