11th Anniversary "Celeb"ration! 1, 2, 3 & 4

Yes, chickens, P.U. (what's that stench?! ha ha!) has recently turned 11 and in honor of the occasion, we're relaying that same number of celebrity encounters in what we believe to be chronological order. As an only child of the '70s, television and old movies often became my closest friends for better or worse. As a result, I came to regard the faces I viewed on-screen as idols and icons worthy of tribute (whether they truly deserved it or not!) I'm happy to say that I have not yet had a celebrity encounter in which I left the meeting less happy with the person that I was when I arrived. On the contrary, most of the people enhanced my opinion of them quite a bit.

As a teen, working the drive-thru at a local Wendy's, I had aspirations of being a journalist. I all but worshiped a local newscaster who I watched on TV at every opportunity. Once, he came through the drive-thru and as he was awaiting his order, I asked him for an autograph - I had pen and paper on-hand - and he curtly declined, brushing me off with the excuse that he didn't have time. (I should have made damned sure he GOT the time by delaying his order!) That bruising experience by a self-important nobody who few people can recall now was, fortunately, my only such encounter. Never again, to date, have a run across anyone famous who wasn't charming and gracious, thank God.

The first time I ever met an real, honest to goodness, famous personality was in the late-1980s. By that time I was a waiter at Red Lobster, which was located across the street and up slightly from a Moore's Nautilus fitness center. (The very concept of fitness - or even a gym - was completely counter to my existence on Earth at the time! It wasn't until 1992 that I first set foot in one, apart from childhood visits to the YMCA for swimming.) A series of commercials were being filmed there featuring a two-time Mr. Universe, who'd proceeded to the title role on a popular television series.

Yes, The Incredible Hulk himself, Lou Ferrigno was in the neigh- borhood and hungry after a long day of filming. The large entourage came into our close-by restaurant on their dinner break. Ferrigno was personable and good-natured though there was a bit of a wait in order to accommodate a party as large as theirs was. I had not actually ever seen very much of the show as it was not the sort of program I was drawn to at the time. (Not glitzy enough, truth be told! And it really wasn't very close to the comic conception of the character - more like a sci-fi update of The Fugitive, as I would learn later on.) Still, it was neat to be in the presence of a highly-known figure.

There was grumbling amidst some of the staff at the time that Ferrigno's wife Carla was a bit abrasive and demanding and not at all receptive to the notion that they could not be seated immediately and somewhere private (!), though I do have to say that as his manager she likely had a lot on her shoulders at that moment, trying to look out for his best interests and juggle all the details of a commercial shoot. Ferrigno and she wed in 1980 and are together still today, so that's quite an accomplishment in their business.

My first encounter with a famous actor in which I got to do more than just briefly nod hello happened in the spring of 1989. I had attended Northern Kentucky University for three years, majoring in Radio, Television & Film, before abandoning that notion in favor of pursuing a career in restaurant management. Before I left NKU, I appeared in one of their stage productions, "The Mikado" (not one you're likely to see much of these days, but it was utterly delightful!), so I was familiar with the theatre department. They had a yearly festival of new material and this time managed to land a guest actor who was quite well known to me.

How I managed to hold on to this clipping through five different apartments and now my house is a complete mystery to me, but I did! I guess I just thought it was special enough a moment to keep a memento of. Mark Lenard was brought in to star in a play called "The Beast."

At the time of this performance, Lenard had been making supporting appearances in several of the big-screen series of Star Trek movies. I knew him from his roles on the original Star Trek in which he'd played, first, a Romulan and then, most memorably, Mr. Spock's father Sarek. I'd also grown up watching afternoon reruns of Here Come the Brides, on which he played the chief antagonist.

Knowing he was likely to be there one afternoon for rehearsal, a friend and I brazenly went to the campus, headed to the main stage and waltzed right onto the premises without invitation or warning! I marvel now at how matter-of-factly we just showed up and expected to see and meet Mr. Lenard! And you know what? We did. We stood in the wings until a break occurred, then introduced ourselves (!) and proceeded to speak to him about our affection and admiration for him and his work. He couldn't possibly have been any more genial, appreciative of our interest or patient with our incoherent ramblings.

Lenard had appeared as a guest on countless TV series over the years and was a familiar face. He was also a regular on the short-lived TV series Planet of the Apes as General Urko. I was petrified of him as a child and somehow wound up with the Mego action figure of this character, which also scared me. LOL I never played with that one at night...!

After a 6-year absence, I began to work on stage again and that second occasion caused the acting bug to sting me badly. I took up a strong interest in theatre and my step-mother (in one of the few thoughtful things she ever did!) would occasionally arrange tickets for the family to attend touring musical productions. (It was through this that I was able to hear Robert Goulet sing Emile De Becque in "South Pacific" in person and it was stunning.) Along about 1995 or so, the Broadway revival of "Grease" came to town. Rex Smith had starred in it in NYC, but departed the tour at a certain point to take his place beside Diahann Carroll in the Canadian production of "Sunset Blvd." Thus, the big name by the time we saw it was one Brooke Shields as Rizzo. Also on board was Sally Struthers as Miss Lynch.

Additionally, the small but flashy role of disc jockey and dance MC Vince Fontaine was portrayed by onetime Monkee Davy Jones. Now Brooke was all right and Sally was fun (though she would be put to much better use a few years later as Miss Hannigan in a tour of "Annie"), but we were in some serious nosebleed seats at an extremely old, if grand, theater. So without benefit of binoculars, they were merely colorful ants on stage. The seats themselves were tiny (and I was reed slim at the time - a rare occasion in itself!) so at Intermission many people rose and went out into the stairway to stretch their legs. For some insane reason, we basically stayed put, even though doing so almost meant that our heads touched the ceiling when we stood up.

Much to my astonishment, in through the entrance door came Davy Jones! No worries of his head hitting the ceiling. He was excitedly greeting everyone he encountered and handing out signed photos, much like the one seen here. I could hardly believe that he took the trouble to use Intermission as an opportunity to climb all the way up to the cheap seats to thank and greet the viewers there! He was very animated and friendly. We had no camera, never expecting to come upon the teen idol of millions (or anyone else of note!) but it was fun to get to meet him. I, who always cling to anything I'm given that is showbiz related, later made a rare gesture of kindness and bestowed that autographed photo to a chef at the country club where I worked who had always idolized Jones. She was ecstatic to receive the hand-signed photo.

Now in this next (and last) section, I am going to use an abridged version of a very lengthy e-mail I sent out to friends and family in those days (October, 2002) before you could recount things to the masses on Facebook or a blog. It details a highly memorable encounter with one Richard Simmons, who'd come to town for a Women's Health Expo (held in a huge empty mall) that a female friend hornswaggled me into attending with her. I have used his workout videos off and on for years.  Though I find him to be an odd duck, he is so infectiously motivational and inspirational and committed to what he does, I can't help but like him.  And I enjoy his tapes because no matter how bad I've let myself go, I'm always more fit and attractive than the bulk of the people on the videos!

A probably now-forgotten project with the parents of famous performers!

We went to the area where he was supposed to be.  It was crowded and there was hubbub near a door that had a black curtain over it.  So we went over there and took turns saying such revelations as "I see his hair!", "I saw him tying his shoe!" and "He's wearing red with sparklies on it!"  It was a sort of VIP room with lots of misfits coming in and out and getting to pose with him for pictures, etc...  I had brought my camera and a video of his to sign if I got the chance.  Not too much later, he came bursting out and onto the stage. (The shot of him in the inset was taken by me.) We got in the back of the crowd (of probably an easy 150 people just on the floor, if not more, and many surrounding and above us) and watched as he got everyone riled up.  All the chairs had been cleared away and everyone was encouraged to spread out and get ready to sweat. 
   

He took a load of people up on stage to workout behind him.  I hadn't raised my hand as I didn't really want to be up there sweating and bending and plopping around in front of a crowd of probably 300 or more.  Then for his first routine, he asked a black guy with a white derby to come up and workout next to him.  The closet doors were basically ripped off when Richard said, "That li'l white hat is turnin' me ON!"   The guy proceeded to steal the spotlight with a series of gyrations, button ripping shirt openings and so on.  So Richard.....to regain focus....yanked his shorts down to his ankles (!) revealing a pair of 10 year-old boy tighty-whitey underpants!  So we got into the spirit and began to workout with the crowd.  It was a fun time and we were both working up a good sweat.  He did many routines to all sorts of popular and oldies music. 

Then........it happened.  He looked out into the expanse of the crowd and pointed my way and said, "YOU!  In the white t-shirt!  Get up here!!"  A lady two rows in front of me started to take her purse off her shoulder and go up to him.  He said (in his trademark brash voice), "NO!  Not YOU!!   HIM!!," pointing at me!!!!!!  Needless to say I was flabbergasted, but I had to obey orders!  I went up to the stage and he jumped in the arms of a big guy all in black who was on the other side of him.  I was terrified he would do the same to me, so I made the sign of the cross and backed up.  This got a laugh.  Then "Jump" by The Pointer Sisters came on and we were on our way with the workout.  I struggled to stay in time and on the right feet as Vickie dutifully snapped pictures of me on stage next to Richard Simmons!!  At one point, he got flirty, so I jokingly went all the way to the farthest edge of the stage.  Then when he acted sort of faux hurt or bemused, I turned and did my best Olivia Newton-John "Grease" walk towards him which tore up the crowd again!  Before long, my little moment in the sun was over and I (soaked from head to toe) went back into the throng. 

Afterwards, we got in line to meet him in person.  It was like a Beatles concert, with frantic pushing, shoving, cutting line...! When I FINALLY made it to the man, I said, "People have no manners at all!  They are so excited to see you they'll do anything to get to you!" and he said, "Hey! It's my disco partner!"  He was extremely friendly and accommodating.  He gave us each signed 5x7's, signed our videos, posed for pictures and kissed us each twice and hugged me!

It seems whenever I meet anyone of note, I myself am at a low ebb somehow. I'm either fat, sweaty, bedraggled or a combination of all three. Whenever I'm looking my best and trimmed down, there's no one in sight! Ha ha!  I'll be back with more celebrity encounters as we mark the 11th birthday of Poseidon's Underworld.