Guest Who: Stars Who "Glitter"-ed!

We all know well the 1970s & '80s television juggernauts from producer Aaron Spelling which gave employment to countless movie and TV performers who were either hot at the moment or were perhaps nearing or even beyond their "best if used by" dates. Shows such as The Love Boat, Fantasy Island and Hotel gave many a semi-retired personality a moment to gussy up again for the cameras. (Of course, Murder, She Wrote, not an Aaron Spelling series, provided a master class in this field as well.) But how many of you tuned in to (or even heard of!) today's series, which is in the same vein as the others mentioned? I speak of 1984's Glitter. The short-lived Glitter would prove to be a melting pot of people from prime-time (and daytime) soaps and other assorted genres.

Glitter landed on US television screens on September 13th, 1984, in a two-hour pilot movie. It concerned the goings on at a splashy magazine publisher (not unlike, say, People) and rolled out an unwieldy roster of cast members: 

Birney headlined as a top reporter. 

Brittany, temporarily exiting Dallas, played a newcomer, who is paired with Birney on his latest story.

Hunk 'o spunk Mayer was a hot-shot reporter who was frequently (and thankfully!) often called upon to work on stories that called for a bit of beefcake. (Mayer had previously been one of the "faux" Duke boys working on The Dukes of Hazard during a contract dispute with that show's usual stars.)

Mayer's sidekick was played by Meadows, a veteran of One Life to Live who'd been branching out into prime-time guest appearances. 

Murphy, as a rather Jimmy Olsen-ish mail room delivery boy, had just ended a stint on Dallas as the ill-fated Mickey Trotter.

Lobby receptionist Nelson was fresh off the failed, but fondly remembered, series Square Pegs, on which she played a valley girl. She would later score a moderate success with Father Dowling Mysteries. 

Laugh-In's Johnson played the in-house photographer, shooting the magazine's covers and other featured subjects.

Sharma was a child actress turned Broadway performer who'd also been on a couple of seasons of Laugh-In. Here, she was an executive secretary. 

Discovering vocalist McNair amongst the staff was more than startling as she'd only done a handful of TV acting gigs in recent years.

Rounding out this roster (I haven't even gotten to the guest stars yet!) is golden age Hollywood veteran Johnson as the head of the place. 

Then we head to the printing press for a rundown of who will be appearing this time. This credit format is one that was directly similar to The Love Boat and Hotel. If it ain't broke, don't fix it? 

Mannix himself.

Copley, of the sitcom We Got It Made, was the real-life wife at this time of Christopher Mayer. 

Ubiquitous Hill had been Owen Marshall, Counselor at Law.

Howard, who'd been The White Shadow, would later join Dynasty and The Colbys.

Oscar-winner Neal hadn't acted for a couple of years, but got her feet wet here and in two 1984 TV-movies as well. 

Post was then a cast member on The Fall Guy. Later, she'd successfully switch to Night Court, which was one of the shows that helped kill off Glitter. 

Dancer-actress Prowse was close to the end of her acting career, with only The Love Boat and Murder, She Wrote to come before she stepped away in 1987.

Van Ark was of course one of the key stars of Knots Landing.

...and finally we reach the end, with this costar of T.J. Hooker.

I deliberately withheld this other page from the ad depicted earlier because I wanted to reveal the guests one by one in my own way. There is, of course, no moment in the pilot which plops all of these people together at once. 

When a show is titled Gitter, you aren't going to be filming scenes at a roadside pond... Shimmering swimming pools like this were more the speed. 

And, naturally, Nolan Miller was on hand to whip up costumes like this. We were thankful for the hat, which covered up the litigiously bad hairdo of Miss Prowse as seen in the opening credits.

It's practically impossible for Glitter to be more "'80s" than it is. We have Zmed and Copley as competitors in a whack-a-doodle exercise/dance contest. 

It tended to be all about big smiles and big hair. 

Van Ark had fun stepping out of her victimized Val Ewing persona and instead enacting a sexually voracious radio therapist with heavy makeup.

All of Neal's scenes took place in a hospital bed as she portrayed an infamous madam of high-priced call girls, now at death's door. 

A running gag in the pilot is a series of appearances by a mystery lady. We only see her legs at first. She's in the office to take part in a cover shoot and every male who sees her begins gawking out. 

But who is she?? Christie Brinkley? Heather Locklear? Heather Thomas? You'll crap when I show you who it is. I can tell you for certain that this figure above is not she, no matter what they try to tell you...

Birney and Brittany were virtually always together and seemed intended as a riff on James Brolin and Connie Sellecca from the prior year's breakout hit Hotel. 

Though Birney had been a successful actor in many projects, he just never did it for me. Not my type. 

Brittany I enjoyed more as a rule, but somehow I preferred her as icy bad girls, such as Katherine Wentworth on Dallas. Her crystalline eyes were really something. 

By the way... this is the mystery cover girl.  Not only was it not Linda in all the prior, shrouded glimpses, but this outfit and hairdo were never depicted during Johnson's extended photo shoot! 

The pilot aired in its two-hour format, but tested poorly with some preview audiences and was not a ratings juggernaut. As the show segued into a series, some changes were made. Kristen Meadows, Barbara McNair and Van Johnson were all let go. 

Tracy Nelson stayed and, for whatever reason (hairstyle?), got a new credit shot. 

Kay, of Eight is Enough, was brought on to replace Meadows. 

And Hill, who was a guest in the pilot, stayed on as the chief, with Johnson's character having been dispatched to Europe. Hill was also revealed to be Brittany's father, hence her hiring and prominent place on staff. 

Latin American singer and telenovela actor Allende had played one of Morgan Fairchild's lovers on Flamingo Road. 

Beller had figured into a few seasons of Dynasty. 

Fans of latter day Laverne & Shirley and the Police Academy movies are familiar with Easterbrook.

I'm hard-pressed to give a specific thing Potts was known for apart from the miniseries Once an Eagle, though he did headline a brief military-set prime-time soap called For Love and Honor just prior to this. Here, he plays a deranged man who holds photographer Johnson at gunpoint. 

In this ep, Beller plays a young lady about to marry a prince who cracks under pressure and takes a "Roman Holiday" like Audrey Hepburn did in the 1953 movie by that name. 

More importantly, Easterbrook runs a gym whose weight loss program is causing a sensation. Mayer and Kay are called upon to look into it. 

Check the getup on her male partner...!

Thank God Mayer is soon decked out in similarly abbreviated workout wear. 

I just love his eyes and that chin. He remains an underrated persona as far as I'm concerned. 

Our next installment features the great MGM dancer Ms. Charisse, who looks wonderful. 

Coleman was on Dynasty as the second incarnation of Steven Carrington. Here, he's a feisty tennis pro along the lines of the infamous John McInroe.

Happy Days star Moran played an ex-lover of Coleman's, who is harboring a secret. 

And dig this! Oscar-winning Miss Rogers pops up in her penultimate acting role (she would check into Hotel for her final appearance.)

Here she portrays a longstanding soap opera actress who is afraid she's about to be killed off. 

Charisse plays the show's producer and Rogers' chief antagonist. 

How fun to have these two dancing legends of the cinema (both having partnered with Fred Astaire) square off against one another all these years later! 

Initially I was unimpressed with Rogers' acting, but she finally won me over with her camptastic and comedic performance. I chuckled at her heading over to the magazine's headquarters "incognito" in a huge fur coat and hat and ginormous sunglasses.  

Charisse just oozes style with her statuesque and still very trim figure. 

Later to be a real-life daytime soap star, J. Eddie Peck parodied the genre by playing a young stud who almost wears a shirt. This was his first screen credit. He'd later pop up in Dynasty's final season, too.

Now things are 'bout to get messy... Executive producer Aaron Spelling, at this point unused to failure, began clashing with the show's producer Lynn Loring over the direction and content of the show, which was suffering in the ratings already. Changes were made again. This time, the hunky Mayer was let go and replaced by Harewood. Harewood was both a TV veteran of the mid-'70s, with Roots: The Next Generation and Strike Force under his belt as well as many other projects, and also an emerging actor who would later appear in Full Metal Jacket (1987.) 

Dianne Kay was also fired, with Culea coming on board in her place. Culea had fled her role on The A-Team following some disparaging treatment from that show's star, George Peppard. 

Apparently eager to get these two new additions on the airwaves asap, episodes were broadcast out of order! This meant that one week you might see this toothsome twosome, but then, inexplicably, the show would be featuring Mayer and Kay the next time! In any event, the show was doomed and after six episodes, it was pulled. The remaining eight installments only saw the light of day a year later in 1985 when they were burned off in late night opposite The Tonight Show! This would be why much of this series' content is little-seen. Across its 14 episodes there were 12 (!) directors, which didn't help establish a particular style or tone either.

Here, Little House meets The Song of Bernadette (1943) when novice nun Anderson witnesses a miracle.

Harrington, of One Day at a Time, appeared as a standup comic in crisis. 

Taking a breather from all the various Brady Bunch incarnations, Henderson played his estranged wife.

Ms Nettleton gave her hair a chance to relax by stuffing it under a habit as Anderson's superior. 

In another ep, Broadway star and vocalist Goulet played a famous illusionist.

Kline had spent years on the jiggle TV sitcom Three's Company. In his ep, he's a part-time Santa Claus who may or may not be a conman in line to receive an inheritance. 

I frankly had no idea who this was. Moffat also went by Katherine and was a frequent TV guest star in the late-'70s through the 1990s. She'd just been a regular on a short-lived show called Boone.

The Falcon Crest star played Goulet's son here, who may or may not be interested in carrying on the family act of illusion/escape art. Interestingly, he would marry this show's Tracy Nelson, but not until 1987. They divorced a decade later.

Now we come to a really oddball ep. Bergman, a dancer who got a career boost from costarring in Conan the Barbarian (1982) appeared as a martial arts instructor. But the hilarity comes from who comes next in the guest star lineup. Not exactly folks you expect to see billed with her....!

Two-time Oscar-winner Hayes.

Long-retired classic film hoofer Keeler.

...and veteran movie actress turned General Hospital costar Lee!

Professional curmudgeon Meredith, who'd appeared regularly on Gloria a year or two before. Here, he plays a psychic. 

Finally, Dynasty's Geoffrey Scott.

Scott was Bergman's business partner in the self-defense/martial arts field. 

He provided a skosh of chest and leg in his role. 

But the real draw (and the source of some camp) comes courtesy of the other story line. Hayes plays a woman who was once a great star of the 1930s who is reluctant to be seen by her fans today. (Hayes, who really never made the slightest attempt to appear young, seems quite a bizarre choice for a part like this... but the tale does take an interesting spin.)  

We're asked to believe that this is she in her hey-day...!

Also on hand is a bed-ridden associate played by Miss Lee. 

A glitzy party in this Sunset Boulevard (1950) inspired story affords Brittany to pull out all the 1980s glamour stops. 

At the party are (not pictured) Benny Rubin, Army Archered and, playing herself, Miss Keeler! 

Thankfully, someone had the presence of mind to snap this publicity photo of the veteran actresses all together. 

General Hospital sensation Francis, had just been in her own failed prime-time soap Bare Essence. 

Playing her grandmother in this political family drama installment is veteran movie star Ms McGuire.

As Francis' mother, we have "Anne Frank" herself, Perkins.

Also on hand is Phillips, who'd been appearing on Hotel and would later join Knots Landing.

All-purpose performer Saxon had popped up on both Dynasty and Falcon Crest.

In another episode, country singer Axton played a man combing the streets of Los Angeles looking for his daughter, ala 1979's Hardcore.

Oscar-winner Balsam assists him with his search. 

Miss America and longtime Barnaby Jones costar Meriwether plays the co-owner of a swimsuit company.

1950s leading lady Rush is her partner, and sister, in the enterprise. Rush had been working on Flamingo Road before this.

In this story, the sisters' relationship is strained to say the least. 

This affords the usually affable Miss Meriwether (a friend of Poseidon's Underworld) to display some unusually snotty behavior.  

That's basically all the Glitter I have for you. A kind soul has uploaded quite a few of the episodes on YouTube, though several are still MIA. However.... I do have a few extra shots (from the previews) of some other folks who appeared on the series. Some who appeared, but of whom I have no visuals, include Theodore Bikel, Justine Bateman, Mary Crosby, Elaine Joyce, Mel Ferrer, Gordon Thomson, Tom Bosley, Harriet Nelson, Phyllis Diller and Robert Reed.

 

::: BONUS PICS :::

Ken Kercheval of Dallas appeared as a policeman who's the subject of a story.

Paul Burke of Dynasty was a man threatening Birney with a libel suit.

Anthony Newley played a photographer who is suspected of threatening his models with violence. 

Pretty Donna Dixon (Mrs. Dan Akroyd in real life) is a model on the receiving end of threats. (She isn't even credited on imdb.com, this scarce show is messy there, but she was on it, trust me!)

Young Murphy trying to get a bag lady to submit to a story for the magazine... The bag lady was portrayed by...

...Happy Days' Marion Ross, offering up her take on a Stone Pillow routine.

Then there's this blonde in a bikini, just about to take it off at a nude beach. 

It's Randi Oakes of CHiPs. 

She's trying to get Mayer out of his duds, which I hope she did! There's another MIA installment in which Mayer entered a male beauty pageant... restored DVD please!!

Finally, we have this father in discussion with his daughter, who's about to star in a movie... 

Dad is played by Charles Frank while the daughter is portrayed by the inevitable...

... Tori Spelling! After many appearances on her father Aaron's TV series, she finally scored a hit later with Beverly Hills 90210.