Poseidon Quickies: Oh, What a "Day!"

Poseidon's Underworld has been almost to the level of cinematic algae-eating as of late! Ha ha! Not that we ever felt we'd ascended to anything loftier than that. We've always enjoyed rotten movies and tacky TV. I stumbled upon a lesser-known action epic the other day - Day of the Assassin, a U.S./Spain/Mexico co-production - and decided to take a look at it simply because of the time of its release - 1979 - and to see how the top-billed stars were holding up. (The answer? Not incredibly well.) Yet the flick offered up several surprises, good ones, that I will now convey to you!

 

Glenn Ford, a world away from Gilda (1946) had just done a wonderful job in the terrific Superman (1978), but must have been lured by a hefty paycheck and a free stay at a luxurious Mexican resort for this part.

Ford plays a wealthy kingpin who, after the destruction of a Shah's private yacht, hires a man to retrieve an all-important document that was aboard. This expansive location is implied to be Ford's private residence, but surely it was the interior of a hotel.

Whether a hotel or a private residence, it is decorated with an aggressive ugliness! Anyway, the man Ford hires is the ol Rifleman himself, Chuck Connors.

Connors listens as Ford expounds on his intentions to get his hands on that list. Informed that it will be a life-risking venture, he will be paid $2-million for his efforts.

Ford informs Connors that there are several other people interested in gaining the list. And some of them will stop at nothing to do so. Ford pops up throughout the film, but likely only put in a few days' work in all. For this, his sole sequence with Connors, he didn't remove his sunglasses.

For his own part, the always slender Connors had begun to show the effects of sun and cigs and his lips were thin to the point of resembling one of the Canadian characters from South Park!

The third "name" actor in the film had a better time of it. His assassin character was MUTE! Roundtree never had to bother learning any lines and just had to perform various duties of action and intrigue as the (convoluted) script called for them. But now on to the meat of the post...

When I saw this man appear, I had a sudden sense of familiarity, though I couldn't place him at first. Juan Luis Galiardo portrayed one of many ne'er do wells in the movie. Later, I realized where I knew him from. 

The very busy Spanish actor had been in Charlton Heston's Antony and Cleopatra (1972), as a VERY beautiful attendant in a skimpy costume. I had done a post about the movie with many shots of him and other choice moments from the piece.

If I understood Day of the Assassin correctly (and, trust me, it wasn't easy to pay very close attention to parts of it), his character was gay. But he wasn't showcased to nearly the degree as some others were...

The movie opens with an extended sequence on the beach. All sorts of mayhem is taking place, seen through the binoculars of this Speedo-clad gent.

It's Jorge Rivero, a longtime favorite of ours! It was such a treat to discover that he was in this film...

...and an even greater treat that his initial appearance was in this little swimsuit!

Throughout the sequence, he's reclined on the lounge chair (and eating!), yet he still impresses. But that's not it...

A bit later we find him, with a ladyfriend, in the hotel swimming pool. He's in a different Speedo and serving up some tantalizing tan lines.

At the swim-up bar, he observes the arrival of Connors to the resort. (And we observe the front of his clingy trunks.)

He was 41 at this point, and looking great!

His gal-pal is played by Mexican actress Susana Dosamantes, who had been in Rio Lobo
(1970) with Rivero previously. Believe it or not, this part had initially been cast with Jill St, John (!), but she took a hike the moment it looked as if her salary wasn't going to be paid up front as promised.

Thus it was Dosamantes and not St. John who got to continually canoodle with the stunning Rivero.

 I'd have done it for free, myself!

The decidedly rotten movie, in which several people - including Rivero - are badly dubbed, at least offers up some lovely scenery, be it the colorful coastline or the taut trousers.

One scene takes place in a garishly-lit, heinously-decorated nightclub (complete with a lit-up dance floor! Thursday Night Fever! Ha ha!)

The director of this movie had the good sense to keep Rivero shucked down and free of shirts as often as the story allowed.

This, of course, was nothing new for Rivero, who'd played Native Americans, wrestlers and even Adam during his career.

Connors also showed some chest here and there (and at 58 was still in decent shape), but it just wasn't quite the same. 

You might think I'm winding down at this point, but let me tell you... I'm just getting started! That initial sequence on the beach featured yet another hunk of spunk who had previous caught our eye here in The Underworld!

Behold the glorious beauty of Mr. Andres Garcia! Again, when I clicked on the movie I had no earthly idea that he was in it. And how! Garcia commanded our attention in the shark-attack delight Tintorera (1977) and instantly became a favorite.

Witnessing some violence out at sea, Garcia springs into action in a skimpy Speedo of his own.

We think all handsome action heroes should be clad in as little as humanly possible and offer up Mr. Garcia as Exhibit A!

In one highly unusual scene, he quickly dons a parasailing harness and heads out into the water to systematically kill four men!

Clearly performing most, if not all, of his stunts in this sequence, Garcia keeps dipping down to "off" one man after another, in a variety of methods.

What a way to go! Garcia's tormented expressions as he's doing his business take on a sexual aspect that is both hilarious and exhilarating.

He's just as handsome clothed, though if I had my choice... Incidentally, this is the type of movie in which the characters look like they all shop at the same store! I half-expected to see a credit saying, "Sportswear provided by Catalina."

It's not every man who can pull off the look of a blue & white leather bike jacket with nothing on underneath!

Before I forget, there were two other names to mention who show up in this flick. One is Henry Silva, as the local police chief. (God love him, Mr. Silva is still with us today at 93!)

And then there is Tawny Godin, who plays a newscaster. Godin was Miss America 1976 and is billed here (and thereafter) as Tawny Little, having married a Dr. Miles Little in 1977. One of her subsequent three husbands was John Schneider of The Dukes of Hazzard! As a real-life newscaster, virtually every role she ever played on screen was as a reporter of some sort.

Now that I've revealed all the players, I can show you the poster for the film. I didn't want to spoil the appearances of Galiardo, Garcia and Rivero until I could present them in my own way. If you wish to view this, there is a very decent print at Tubi right here. Or you may find it elsewhere. Before I go, I'd like to reveal one more thing...

It wasn't just his Speedo that showed of Mr. Rivero to full advantage. In one brief scene, he's also shown in the teensiest of running shorts.

This is my special gift basket for you readers. Ha ha!

Even his legs were eye-popping. And he looked as good going as he did coming.

"I Love the 70s" indeed! And with that, I give you...

The End!

Or is it? I just couldn't resist sharing a few BONUS PICS of Mr. Andres Garcia that I found while looking into this movie further. Enjoy!

Those lips, those eyes...

Those nips...

Those thighs. Ha ha!

Serving up serious Lee Horsley realness later in his career.

You can smell the Coppertone suntan oil!

What a guy...