Thursday, April 10, 2014

Fun Finds: Hooty Album Covers

We've all seen those BAD record album covers. Everyone and his grandmother has done a post about them and they are funny. I've always wanted to do one, too, but never took the time until now. Today's albums are all from gospel albums. Now, please don't think I am somehow targeting Christians! If you've ever visited my other page Krazy Kaptions, you know that nothing and no one is save from my gently perverse, subversive ribbing. These covers just happened to be particularly ripe (thanks in part to the low-budget production values of many of them.) This is a little like hunting for fish in a barrel as the captions practically write themselves! about the cuff length on these "One Size Fits All" polyester pantsuits...
Bill yourself as "Exciting" if you want to, but I'll be making my own adjudication once the record begins..
"Dad, Bela Lugosi's on the phone... says he wants his hair back."
"Emerging"... is that another word for "Coming Out?"
I'm not kidding!
Something tells me those turtles are not going to like it when J.L. starts blaring that horn...
"Doug Oldham Sings."  True enough, but FIRST he eats!
Oh, it's time all right... to look into some gear that isn't "Satan Red."
I'm not even kidding here. I think I just fell into "white" camp heaven...
He's the "Singing Missionary," but he also has other positions if that one doesn't work for you.
Yes, they're a trio, but I think Randall likes the one in blue best.
Your kind of songs, my kind of hair!
Are we absolutely certain that there is indeed a Linda Smith and that this isn't one of Lily Tomlin's expert comic creations?
Rated Cross: May not be suitable for all heathens.
Yes, I've gone sailing, but not in high heels and helmet hair.
Now we're talking... You may just win me over this time! (Especially the blond!)
You threw in butt shots for the back cover?? All right. You win! Sign me up.
I really believe that either Mike or Mary's dad worked at Olan Mills portrait studio.
I'm a seersucker for hairdos like this one!
Yes, but not enough.....
What a shame that only Larry and Moe could make it to the photo shoot. Curly had a flat tire on the way to the studio.
Unmistakably the bridal party of a wedding held at a Christian Gay-Deprogramming Camp!
I question the need for an on-site nurse in the front row. Did that many of the choir members have "sugar?"
A better question is, "Whatever Happened to Your Shirt, Clarence?"
I regret to inform you that not ALL of the twigs and berries in this cover photo are in the woodsy background!
Well, he IS, but he'd also like to have a brief conversation about these Pepto-Bismol pink outfits...
...and I hope some old newspaper came with it or there's going to be a real mess...
Chick down front is the only one who knows how to shellac hair for an outdoor photo shoot!
Actually, I'm terribly worried that it's gray driveway dust all over her skirt at the bottom of the cover and not a scuff on the album...

Oh... I knew Nona back in high school when he was Norbert.

Get a room! (And you just know they jostle for that microphone during performances...)
Hold on. Why does Cletus get to wear RED??
I do wish you'd have given me a tip to buy stock in lilac silk manufacturing before you settled on these get-ups!
...and that's a horrible, horrible outfit!
"Those of you who haven't yet needed knee replacement can kneel down and allow the name on our bus to be visible in the picture."
Our family dog certainly found her album to be "most exciting" as well!
"Hey, Hey, We're the Tribunes!"
"...people say we Tribune around..." Oh, forget it.......
I really don't want to see the other side, thank you...
I assume they all headed to happy hour prior to this photo?
Her hair and "gown" require a much closer look!
Trust me, children... I was doing so before I even listened to the album.
He did it all except teach mom to stand up straight!
Yes, Beverly and Erick had a noticeable height differential, but he was just her size in all the ways that mattered...  "Amen!" to that!

I was asking myself this same question by the second track...
They really stacked the deck here... booze, pills, needles... the works!
"LEARNING to Lean?" I do believe he mastered the art long ago... 
With this hair, I'm thinking "Steelnecker" would be a more apt last name.
It's official...  Linda Evans has finally had one too many cosmetic surgery procedures done!


Knuckles Girlyskirt said...

I have very little to say, as I am too busy picking up my jaw off the floor.

So many great covers, not even sure if I could choose a favorite.

You may also want to check out "Sing With Marcy"...She would fit in very well with this posting. Unless you have a fear of ventriloquist puppets or dolls. In which case, stay clear!

NotFelixUnger said...

Ray from Ray and the Emeralds is looking mighty fine. He looks like he's a pretty tall guy, too. Very hot.

"Honey in the Rock" looks like they invited Dee and Shirl from "What's Happening?!" to sing with the group.

Poseidon3 said...

Knuckles... Marcy scared me. However, in looking for her, I also brushed up against Erick, who I have since added to the line-up above, towards the bottom.

NotFelix, I wonder which of The Emeralds was the one Ray liked to polish the most? LOL

Lord... Thanks for commenting, fellas!

Knuckles Girlyskirt said...

Unfortunately, I am very familiar with that Erick album cover.

God help us all!!!

Poseidon3 said...

How about THIS?

Knuckles Girlyskirt said...

Believe it or not, I stumbled across the above this week.

I have always been a fan of campy album cover artwork...and after your posting, decided to spend some time seeking out more.

There are some real amazing ones out there!

NotFelixUnger said...

I've no clue which was his favorite emerald but I would gladly do his two stones any day of the week!

His height, build and face remind me of Lyle Waggoner (a bit younger, perhaps) from the same era.