I know there are plenty of Underworld readers who enjoy posts about vintage TV, beloved actresses, character actors and other assorted subjects here, but by far the topic that really draws people into the whirlpool of this website is that of beefcake, be it bare chests, Speedos or bulges. So, to celebrate the season of decorated eggs, I give you a selection of famous baskets to peer at. Just look at the basket Robert Urich of
Vega$ (1978-1981) is putting forth! I apologize in advance that this is rather random and all over the place, but I cull these from a wide variety of places! Most of these will look better if you open in a new tab/window.
We'll start way back in the late-'20s/early-'30s with this shot of Czech actor Francis Lederer keeping in shape on a studio lot. The photo, most likely taken for use in publicity or in fan magazines, shows him in great shape, especially for this era.
'30s and '40s superstar
Errol Flynn is shown here relaxing on his boat, the Zaca.
This next set of shots is of ruggedly handsome 1950s star Richard Egan.
While they don't reveal a lot, I liked them too much to omit them from today's celebration!
Dead-gorgeous bodybuilder Ed Fury during an appearance on
My Little Margie.
Leave it to Beaver's adorable Tony Dow.
Here's Underworld favorite
George Nader doing some brick-laying (dresses in his work clothes and “dressed right!”)
On his 1958-1960 TV series,
The Texan, Rory Calhoun occasionally allowed us to see where he kept his other “gun.”
Not always picky about where it hung, it often switched sides depending on his mood.
The Texan guest star Ron Hayes displayed some VPL in this 1959 episode.
Singing teen-idol
Fabian wore some figure-flattering pants in 1959's
Hound Dog Man.
Starting in 1959,
Bonanza hit the airwaves where it (rather amazingly) stayed until 1973. Bulge King
Michael Landon kept keen viewers alert for the run of the show. This particular picture doesn't say a thousand words, but others of him sprinkled into previous posts sure do!
Do you get your kicks from
Route 66 (1960-1964)? If so, you will enjoy this shot of George Maharis in some fun pants.
Here, we see the lovely
Tab Hunter in his prime during the movie
The Golden Arrow (1962.)
The golden one wasn't the only arrow pointing in a given direction during the movie!
Mr. Burt Reynolds, hanging out in the kitchen of one of his early homes.
When
Hugh O'Brian guest-starred on the premiere episode of
The Virginian (1962), he wore some weathered jeans that sometimes gave our eyes a treat. (If you happened to look at the woman, that's Miss Colleen Dewhurst as his ladyfriend.)
Bulges and VPL in moving images can be so hard to capture, but you get the basic idea...
Regular stars of
The Virginian Gary Clarke and Doug McClure frequently offered up some old west bulgery.
Bonuses like this can really help one make it through the more subdued moments of a vintage television episode.
The humpy Mr. Paul Newman in his
Hud (1963) guise.
Barry Morse, who spent all those years pursuing
The Fugitive (1963-1967) had a lot going on downstairs. This was demonstrated even further later when he was on
Space: 1999, but here we see a preview of the future...
Unquestionably, my favorite workout duo (there have been more than a few pictures of them exercising together while at Warner Brothers), delectable Van Williams and Robert Conrad!
The western TV series
Laredo (1965-1967) had the benefit of a couple of hunks who sometimes showed off their stuff.
Peter Brown and William Smith had great camaraderie and wore some clingy trousers.
Here, they (especially Smith on the right) pitch a couple of tents while being held hostage and staked to the ground!
Stephen Boyd is constricted in his tight, white wetsuit, but I love him and the movie
Fantastic Voyage (1966) so I am posting the picture anyway.
One of my favorite parts of the 1969 sci-fi classic
2001: A Space Odyssey is this sequence that shows the astronauts passing their time through exercise and other activities.
The camera gives us a welcome glimpse of the inside of Gary Lockwood's legs as he runs along a large wheel.
Though the actors are almost secondary to the visuals of this movie, this is still one of Lockwood's finest hours.
Likewise, I love when he sprawls out in his boxer shorts for a dose of Vitamin D.
You can't make out a whole lot from this picture of
John Gavin from the 1970 TV-movie
Cutter's Trail, but he's so dang good looking I had to allow it in this collection.
Leather fans rejoice, for here is Robert Culp (of
I Spy and
The Greatest American Hero fame) in a clingy two-piece get-up.
In 1971's disturbingly brutal
A Clockwork Orange, Malcolm McDowell has a scene in just a pair of skimpy briefs.
He parades around in them before a local police detective...
...and the detective gets rather physical with him, in a homoerotic moment.
The TV series
Emergency! (1972-1979), with its paramedics in navy uniforms, wasn't an easy place to spot bulges, but sometimes when the rescuers were in street clothes it got a little easier. This guy on a far left is pressed into his striped trousers.
More prominent is the moose-knuckle supplied by Tim Donnelly in this early episode.
Teen idol (of
All My Children and
Battestar Galactica fame) Richard Hatch gives good bulge in this publicity portrait.
It's back to hunky
Robert Conrad for this revealing photo taken on the set of his WWII series
Baa Baa Black Sheep (1976-1978.)
In 1977's
Equus, Peter Firth left nothing at all to the imagination during his lengthy nude scenes, but we got a coming attraction early in the movie when he showed up in Richard Burton's office in these revealing pants.
Also in 1977, John Wayne's handsome son Patrick starred in
Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger, with pants that occasionally afforded a glimpse of Pat Jr.
Something seems to be stirring in this picture of Jan Michael Vincent taken during the making of
Hooper (1978.)
And bulges need not be mentioned without a nod to
The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985), so we give you John Schneider in some tight jeans.
In 1980, Dallas' Patrick Duffy guest-starred in a two-part installment of
Charlie's Angels and, for whatever reason, happened to show more bulge that he usually did on his own show.
Those late-'70s polyester pants could sometimes become very telling.
Science-fiction has almost always been one of the most fertile places to find bulges and 1979's
Star Trek: The Motion Picture is no exception. Certain types of the unisex-style uniforms in the movie leave little to the imagination.
The mere act of raising one's arms to change a light bulb (or whatever this dress extra is doing!)...
...caused the uniforms to cling tightly in the crotch area.
When he was finished, the uniform was still gathered up into his nether regions! This is one reason I was disappointed when the overhauled all the clothes for subsequent films in the series.
It took a person of a certain level of personal security to pull this look off. The film's costar Stephen Collins had to deliver a series of serious lines with his penis head at 1:00!
He was very pretty in his day, though, wasn't he?
Lately, I've been coming across photos of Gerald McRaney and Jameson Parker of
Simon & Simon (1981-1989), a long-running show that I never watched. McRaney favored tight jeans while Parker leaned towards khakis.
In this shot, you can get an idea of why Delta Burke hasn't done much complaining since her marriage to McRaney! Ha!
Look at deliriously beautiful
Ted McGinley of
Happy Days (1980-1984, and later
The Love Boat and
Dynasty.)
C. Thomas Howell was only one of several young stars to get a big career boost with the 1983 film
The Outsiders. Here, he's wearing some skimpy jockey shorts.
In 1987, tight jeans were still the rage for a lot of guys and few were as tight as Robert Krantz's in the dirt-bike racing flick
Winner Takes All.
It's enough to make you wonder how any of us walked or sat!
Also in 1987, Tim Daly (Tyne little brother) worked on the film
Made in Heaven, part of which was set in 1952, hence the retro looking (and thankfully tight) clothes.
I will leave you with a shot of one of TV's most eye-opening performers, Fred Dryer of
Hunter (1984-1991), whose jeans on the show should have been rated PG-13 or R! In fact, he was steered into dress slacks for much of the time by fretful execs. I wish you all a very Happy Easter (even though many of you may not even celebrate it!) and hope that you are faced with fun baskets of your own!
22 comments:
Stephen Collins is someone we don't celebrate enough. As big a trekker as I am, I was bored silly during the whole first movie. That is of course until he popped in every few scenes. What was that show he did in the early 80s, "Tales of the Blue Monkey?" I only saw that because of him. I've found he's grown into his looks quite well over the years and still take notice when he is in a new project. The Wopat and Schneider pics are still my favorite though.
Happy Easter!
Oops, I forgot to add, Robert Urich can decorate my Easter egg[s] any way he wants. Hubba-hubba!
Fun post as always. Those Stephen Collins outfits had to be designed that way on purpose or someone was blind, I don't remember them because like NotFelixUnger I found the first Star Trek movie sleep inducing but he is a very attractive man. No Fabian but who is? Sigh.
If I had to put all my eggs into one basket from this bevy of beefcake, I'd tisket and tasket and make sure I wouldn't lose Robert Urich's basket.
I was about twelve or thirteen when Urich started to show up on television regularly. I was never a fan of the show "Soap," but Urich as the tennis-playing hunk was just too much - I had to watch anyway.
Tan Hunter looks gorgeous, of course, but what the heck is that "thing" that appears to be escorting him? Is it a male or female? Is it a creature or just a hag with a face like an old work boot? Yukky, phooey. He probably found it difficult to make sure his basket didn't shrivel during the filming of that particular scene.
And Malcolm McDowell's here too. That's an interesting choice. He has one of those interesting faces that's simultaneously good looking and yet also not so good looking. Kinda like Sting. But they both have a certain masculine magnetism...
Still, like Not Felix, I would have kept Robert Urich's eggs very warm for him.
Sorry for the third consecutive post...I am overcome, I guess. How about that Randy Mantooth from "Emergency"? He always had a big following among pre-teen gay boys at the time. His character's equivalent on "Adam-12" was Clint McCord - OMG, was he shockingly handsome or what?
When I was twelve, "Adam-12" and "Emergency" were already syndicated and scheduled back-to-back on the local channel - I got a big eyeful of Randolph Mantooth and Clint McCord every evening as I did my homework after dinner.
Excuse me folks, I ment KENT McCord..and earlier TAB Hunter...Clearly, my fingers are trembling as my pre-teen fantasies come flooding back to me -- I can neither think nor type.
I will take Sting over Malcolm any day of the week. The Clockwork movie still freaks me out.
Now I'm doing the "Narciso thing!" I keep remembering stuff to add!
:-)[My grand-ma used to say something about that but it was in Spanish and don't think it translates well] Truth is, I get so nervous with these memories. [that and the vodka does it every time!]
Robert Urich did a delicious TV movie with Susan Lucci where he played an astronaut [I think] and had to use his space suit to go into Hell to save his family from the clutches of the Devil, aka, "Susan Lucci!" I kid you not.
I loved that movie and thought he never looked better. Erika Kane as the Devil was stunt casting at the time, to be sure. But, it was that face and body [Urich's] I would have sold my soul for, to coin a phrase.
What a hunk.
Hey all! Glad you are enjoying my Easter present to you.
NotFelix, Stephen was on "Tales of the GOLD Monkey." LOL I used to love that show (it has a precious little dog on it), but it was short-lived. I think Bruce Boxleitner's similarly short-lived series "Bring 'Em Back Alive" was about the same time. I see that "Gold Monkey" is now on DVD! I'll have to check that out. Stephen fit the mold of some of my earliest crushes, blonde & blue-eyed, like dorky Tom Netherton of "The Lawrence Welk Show!"
You know, I HATED the initial Star Trek movie for years, but it was on one of my high-def channels recently in all it's widescreen glory and I was very surprised at how much I enjoyed it! It's very majestic and ponderous, but also easy on the eyes and (now) quite nostalgic since some of the cast are gone from this world. The music is wondrous, too.
To me, Malcolm McDowell represented sheer, almost scary, carnality, probably because my first impression of him EVER was the infamous "Caligula." Seeing "Clockwork" after that only reaffirmed that image of him in my teenaged mind. I don't find him handsome, but he's usually compelling/fascinating to watch.
As far as Tab Hunter's companion goes, it's been too long since I watched the movie, but he was a foreign character actor in a supporting role. Tab's real costar was Rossana Podesta, famous in the States, if at all, for having played the title role in 1956's "Helen of Troy," directed by "Star Trek: TMP"'s Robert Wise!
How can I send some "bulge" photos to you? They are very good!
Thanks,
Luiz
Luizinho,
You aren't the first person to ask how to contact me apart from the comments section. I've just set up an e-mail account which can be accessed from my profile at the very bottom of the column on the right of the blog. The address, if you have issues linking, is: poseidonmail@yahoo.com It's an e-mail strictly for use with this blog, though I probably won't be checking it constantly the way I do my own e-mail. Thanks!!
I have just sent you an email, thanks!
I am watching early reruns of Knot's Landing.I had forgotten how hunky Ted Shackleford was and in some episodes in his tight trousers he is showing off a well filled packet.
3 words: Paul Michael Glaser.
What he had behind that denim struggling to get out launched many a circus tent in my adolescent pants.
Richard Egan played the hunky middle-aged neighbor type who would help you fix your car or plumbing and then ball your willing wife when you were at work. He definitely had the looks and the body to do it.
fred dryer yummy
Fred Dryer always showed the most revealing bulge ever. Like t was constantly hard.
All men have something up front... Be more amazed at those who tried to hide their natural... 'package'...
As a costumer, it was more proper to conceal an abnormally large crotch sos not to take away from their performance.
In some cases... It WAS their performance.
.
.
.
I tuned in to "Laredo" as often as I could when I was a kid because every episode featured a rewarding bounty of baskets. I would have become a regular viewer of "The Dukes of Hazard" for the same reason, but the premise of the show was so lame that I just couldn't bring myself to slog through the episodes, even though Tom Wopat and John Schneider had clearly impressive manhood inside their jeans. (Let me admit that I'm a person who was not too proud to watch "The Beverly Hillbillies" just so I could gawk at Jethro's bulge [Max Baer Jr.])
henreid, I was never into "Dukes" either as a kid. I didn't like the setting and couldn't even latch onto Daisy for interest as I just felt she was tacky. LOL Now, every other teen girl has those heinous shorts on, too! But in later years I would see the show occasionally and enjoy the guys' jeans. I haven't seen it around at all as of late, probably because of The General Lee... I enjoy "Hillbillies" not only for Jethro's skintight pants, but to me Irene Ryan was comic genius! Thank you!
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