Tubi Tidbits

I had intended to call this post "Tubi Treasures," but looking them over I thought maybe I should be a little less laudatory (especially after poor ol' Bert Convy was flogged in the comments section of a recent post until he ran behind the easel for Win, Lose or Draw, never to be seen again! LOL) In between various chores at work, I can view and listen to Tubi on my screen. This allows me to do the sort of nitty-gritty archival detective work I enjoy (wherein you have the benefit of never having to actually watch any of the product in question yourselves, unless you should happen to want to!) Since this blog began over 13 years ago, I've often profiled such arresting subjects as hairy chests, Speedos, towels, bathtubs, bulges and showers (sometimes to a fault, thanks to my desire to be completest!) And today we're going to take a gander at some more examples, all found while performing archeological digs on the free app Tubi!

First up is this young man. Alex Hyde-White, the costar of what is (in the U.S. anyway) a pretty obscure 1986 movie, Biggles: Adventures in Time. Based upon a series of novels, it was initially conceived to be an Indiana Jones-ish adventure flick...

...but thanks to the smashing success of 1985's Back to the Future, it was augmented to include segments of time travel instead. Hence, Hyde-White, while draped in a towel, shaving, is suddenly zapped to...

...the huge dining table of a WWII-era convent! Looking up his towel as I am prone to do, I wondered...!

Are we seeing this man's balls?? After all, he was fresh from the shower and wearing only the towel.

Biggles began to boggle my mind...

Ultimately, I decided I wasn't seeing what I thought I might be seeing.

And this was borne out when he hopped off the table and revealed lines under the towel. (I'm not saying that actors have to show the world their junk in a movie, but it IS a pet peeve of mine when someone is supposed to be naked under a towel and we can clearly see panty lines...! Sorta takes one out of the reality of the situation, ya know what I mean, Dorothy?)

Anyway, Hyde-White does look pretty good in his li'l towel nonetheless.

He'd been acting on screen since 1979 and his resume even included time travel oriented shows like Buck Rogers in the 25th Century and Voyagers. (He would late portray Dr. Reed Richards in the infamously unreleased, yet later celebrated, 1994 rendition of The Fantastic Four.)

But I'm betting that his casting in Biggles had something to do with his wholesome, boyish appearance, which doesn't resemble, but does vaguely suggest Michael J. Fox, star of the film this movie was trying to ride the coattails of. Incidentally, this was the very last film in which Peter Cushing appeared.

Okay... Next up is another obscurity, Journey Into Fear (1975), a remake of the Orson Welles 1943 film of the same name. This one stars Sam Waterston, one year prior to Capricorn One, along with a staggering cast of supporting actors. On board with Waterston are Yvette Mimieux, Zero Mostel, Joseph Wiseman, Donald Pleasence, Stanley Holloway, Shelley Winters, Ian McShane and Mr. Vincent Price! But the movie still fizzles in the final analysis.

Since Waterston, soon after having an attempt made on his life, takes a bath, though, we have to document it!

As in the case of virtually all movie baths, he can't possibly be alone. He's joined by the ever-hammy Mostel, who's doing all he can to distract us from Waterston.

The grungy tub and tile makes me wonder why people ever traveled back in the day...!

Tub time over, Waterston rises and is helped with his towel by Mostel, whose body covers up pertinent parts. But notice the copper boiler at the far right and its reflection...

In a tribute to my childhood penchant for trying to watch adult programming on scrambled cable channels, I admit I tried to discern from this reflection whether Waterston was "au naturel" or not! Ha ha ha!! I think he was, but it was too difficult to know for sure in the end.

He is not really my type at all, but I give you the lean and fit (and 35 at the time) Waterston for your perusal.

Most everything I'm offering you today is obscure, including 1979's Summer Camp. This movie premiered a month before (but was completely obscured by) Meatballs. Of course, Meatballs was suggestive and a bit raunchy, but Summer Camp is packed to the gills with T & A (and even P! LOL) We're supposed to be watching this for the girls, but thankfully some male pulchritude slinks in along the way, too.

While it's true that many movies cast people who are too old to play teens in flicks like this, Camp at least offers the conceit that the place is about to go belly-up so PAST participants at the place are invited back in the hopes that they will help subsidize its budget. (However, they mostly just fool around with one another...)

The former summer campers reconvene and are lodged in the same brick dormitories they had when they were kids. (And the cast actually did the same thing, staying on site through filming.)

Here the guys react to having their accommodations pranked by the girls, with short-sheeting, shaving cream and so on.

There's seemingly something for everyone from smooth to hairy, washboard lean to chubby.

And (blessedly for me) not a tattoo in sight.

There was a certain matter-of-factness about underwear scenes like this in the 1970s that hasn't been replicated since. We're all too studied in the staging and lighting of moments like this now.

The end of the film is punctuated with a toga party. Note then-popular Suzanne Somers peering out from a poster on the wall.

During the opening credits of Summer Camp, we're treated to a glimpse of this little scamp in his lifeguard Speedo. It's really the only good look we get of it from the front.

Here we can tell from the tan lines that this was not his usual choice in swimwear...!

His toga party get-up is really more of a Tarzan-like loincloth. All through the movie, he resists the continual advances made towards him from the female campers. But at the end (spoiler alert! - like you care! LOL) he is cornered in an inflated bouncy house and ravaged by a bunch of gals.

He's seen here the following morning, completely deflated after a night of endless ravaging. (But I have to ask... why does he still have that piece of fabric on. That ought to have been shredded in the process.)

I bet that precious few of you have ever seen or heard of this movie, unless you're a fan of Rifftrax and have seen it picked apart by them. It's 1985's Treasure of the Amazon, starring a very grizzled Stuart Whitman.

There is quite a bit of manspreading in this movie.

In fact, I have trouble naming another film that seems to feature as much manspreading as this one!

It's hard to believe that Stu was only 57 here (!), but he's still getting in those occasional shirtless scenes. He's one of several stars featured in the ensemble film.

Also on hand are Bradford Dillman, Donald Pleasence, John Ireland, Emilio Fernandez (of The Wild Bunch, 1969) and Pedro Armendarez Jr. But it's the guy in the middle of this montage who captured my attention.

His name is Clark Jarrett. He'd previously appeared in the teen sex comedy Hot Moves (1984) and really wouldn't do a lot further beyond a stint on the daytime soap Santa Barbara.

Thankfully, as the story progresses, he is sporting some of the teeniest khaki shorts ever presented on a male in the movies.

He is excavating a burial site with Dillman.

And they successfully come upon a little pouch with diamonds in it.

But I really began to wonder if I was going to spy some rocks of my own during this sequence...!

In what has to be a cinema first of some sort, Jarrett plays a whole section of this scene with his bikini-brief-clad balls hanging out the bottom of his shorts!

Mind you, I'm not complaining, I just found it howlingly unusual.

Later when he stands up, the stiff material is still stuck in its gaping position, allowing for more up the leg peeping.

Jim Palmer would be proud to know that his Jockeys made their way to the Amazon! (By the way, this movie is not "good," but it's got many familiar faces, is very beautifully photographed and has a pretty neat musical score, too, so there are worse ways to spend an hour and a half.)

Hidden in this picture of five young men is a future leading man of the 1980s & '90s. The film, The Seniors (1978) is a raucous "comedy" about four college students who form a phony research study which allows them to bed down coed after coed. 

Yep, that's young Dennis Quaid in a very early role. He's go on to a very long, busy career as a leading man and busy supporting actor. In contrast, the guy in the inset is one Rocky Flintermann. He would make only one more movie, in a bit part, before disappearing from the movie landscape. What if I told you that Flintermann got his very first on-screen kiss in this movie... from Quaid!

It's nerdy Flintermann who secures the grant money for the guys' scheme to do sex research and while they are all congratulating him, Quaid makes the peculiar decision to plant one on him, right in the kisser! (I do think it may have been Far From Heaven for his costar, though, from the looks of it.)

No one bats an eye at this. And lord knows Quaid demonstrates that he's into chicks as the movie continues.

He's seen here sharing a shower with one of the subjects of their "study."

His bedroom, like the other three guys, has a revolving door of nubile college coeds coming in to do their thing in the name of research.

Was he ever really this young?

At this point it's all good, but in time the whole plan begins to go out of control (and the movie gets mired down in its not-so-intriguing legal ramifications plot line.) In case it means anything to you, Three's Company's Priscilla Barnes has a featured topless scene in The Seniors, too.

Our final foray into this arena is a total scream and I can highly recommend it to fans of insanely bad cinema. Too Hot to Handle (1977) is a racy hit-woman for hire flick starring Cheri Caffaro. It's worth it to watch this solely for the self-costumed fashions that Caffaro puts on (then takes off!) throughout. This is a mere sampling of them.

Caffaro attracts the attention of her first mark by appearing at his tennis club in the scantiest of swimwear. You might recognize the actor at right.

It's Dutch actor John Van Dreelen, who'd begun in films in the late-1940s and proceeded to roles on the big screen (such as in Von Ryan's Express, 1965, Madame X, 1966, and Lost Horizon, 1973) and countless appearances on TV (in everything from Hawaiian Eye to Perry Mason and Ironside to Charlie's Angels.)

Possessing quite possibly the most egregious comb-over in history, you've surely seen him in something. He worked tirelessly right up until his death in 1992 at age 70. But I can pretty much bet you've never seen him like this...

His character is into S&M and has a sex dungeon in his home! Caffaro is only too happy to oblige him in his pursuits. He's strapped face down on the bed and with the tug of a cord...

He's yanked into a spread-eagle position!

But he likes it.

He really likes it!

During all her duties as a killer for hire, Caffaro finds time for a lover, too. It's Aharon Ipale, who emerged as a busy character actor over time.

This is one hairy dude. I mean it's like wall-to-wall carpet on his chest, which Caffaro enjoys.

Ipale worked on many TV series as a guest and later appeared in Ishtar (1987) as well as playing the Pharaoh in The Mummy (1999) and The Mummy Returns (2001), among lots of other things. After this entertaining romp (written and directed, like many of her projects, by her then-husband), Caffaro basically quit acting. She'd become disenchanted with the direction of her career. It's a shame because she was really a scream in this audacious part. You might also be interested to know that another one of her marks in this movie is former 1950s leading lady Corinne Calvet!

The End!

Designer Double-Dip: Hot Undies

Watching season three of Police Story, one of the greatest shows about day-to-day law enforce- ment ever presented (and brimming over each episode with famous guest stars), I came to this 1976 one about David Groh, Glenn Corbett and Guy Stockwell on the hunt for some jewel robbers. The thieves were played by George Hamilton and James Daris and they work with a sexy accomplice played by Brooke Mills. 

In one brief sequence, Hamilton (in a ski mask, about to stage a heist) playfully wrangles with Mills on their hotel bed.

As he hops off the bed, we see that Mills is sporting a red underwear ensemble with white detailing.

All of this happens rather quickly, which is why these pics are not of the best quality.

Hamilton seems to have great difficulty in tearing himself away from his hot mama, who's all tarted up in her fiery lingerie...

Ultimately, Daris has to intervene so that they can move ahead with their larcenous plans.

So this is the last we see of the filmy ensemble. But goodness me, is it familiar...

It seems as if we've seen people love like this before...

Yep... Faye Dunaway and Paul Newman cavorted around in The Towering Inferno (1974) with Ms. D. appearing in this very same sheer, red negligee. Upon being reunited after a lengthy work-related separation, Newman had announced that he'd brought his gal "about $140 of vulgar underwear!"

The jacket and (most likely) the brassiere worn by Dunaway in Inferno are seen in Police Story on Mills, but the bottoms are different. Mills' are plain red with a bit of white applique while Dunaway's are cut fuller, to cover her up more, and have a more heavily-embroidered seat.

Reportedly, Dunaway was very tentative about appearing in the lingerie (even though she'd done on-screen nudity before and even though her primary gown in the film was beyond flimsy.)

The story goes that Newman, who was aware of Dunaway's nervousness about stripping down on the set, climbed into bed first before she was there and then upon her arrival threw back the covers to reveal a pair of cowboy boots on his feet! He then exclaimed, "Is this kinky enough for you, Faye?" which broke the ice and helped lead to the easy rapport they then achieved.

This scene, like quite a few in the film, was trimmed prior to the movie's release. The runtime even after the cuts was 2 hours and 44 minutes (!), so some things simply had to go. But when the disaster flick aired on television, it was shown over two nights. For this nearly four-hour enterprise, a lot of previously cut footage was put back in, including more of their post-coital conversation and a better glimpse of the underwear in question.

This view of her get-up is only visible in the television version of the movie. As she models it for her lover (sprawled in the foreground), she bemoans being so "long-waisted."

"You've got problems...," he jokes in response. Newman likes what he sees.

As you can discern, the bottoms of this set offer far more coverage than the bikini-briefs seen on Police Story. (Honestly, even at age 7 in 1974, I thought the whole thing was quite ugly! Ha ha!)

Sacrificed in the trimming of this scene is Newman's specific mention of Mendocino as the place he'll be working and where he wishes her to join him. This is why she later tells him, "If you asked me to go to the North Pole or the cliffs of Mendocino, I'd go..."

Also lost are what would have been HUGE close-ups of both of them as they examine their domestic crisis (her job versus his, location-wise.) Their faces fill the screen, but were not seen like this until one tuned in to the two-parter.

Anyway... while Brooke Mills didn't sport the entire set of lingerie first worn by Dunaway, there's no mistaking that jacket. I guess O.J. must have rescued it from burning the way he did Jennifer Jones' cat? Ha ha!  Till next time...

Poseidon Quickies: What a "Racquet!"

Funny how one can stumble upon something utterly unheard of before and discover that it contains the work of people you're fully aware of. Such was the case with the VERY obscure 1979 tennis "comedy" Racquet, which was a labor of love for its star, but which landed out of bounds in theaters. It came up as a suggestion for me on Tubi (you may view it here free with occasional ads should you wish to do so.) Despite its tennis court setting, it was an utter ripoff of the 1975 Warren Beatty hit Shampoo (about a promiscuous hairdresser trying to achieve his own salon), this was instead washed-out and rinsed away! Having gone through strenuous rewrites and changes in conception, it wound up a TV-movie level sex comedy with the novelty of hearing people like Edie Adams and Phil Silvers cuss (even dropping the F-bomb.)

Cast as tennis pro-turned-instructor who wants his own school and who beds down wealthy women as a side hustle we find 46 year-old game show host Bert Convy! True Tattletales could get a little suggestive at times, but this was still a bit of a surprise for his fans.

In a bid for authenticity, Convy's boss was played by Bobby Riggs (!), who was the number one tennis player in the world for much of the 1940s. Get a load of those choppers...! Times have really changed when it comes to celebrities and their dental work.

Riggs is not exactly Laurence Olivier, even in this familiar sort of part. But what got my attention was the blond dude in back with one racquet resting on another...

Soon enough, he's introduced to Convy as an up and comer at the club.

This is Terry Lester, who'd begun with a bit role in Airport 1975 (1974), but soon was starring on the Saturday morning kids' show Ark II. In 1981, he originated the role of Jack Abbott on The Young and the Restless and was a sensation for a time.

Clearly able to play tennis in real life (as could the athletic Convy, who had been a minor league baseball player in his youth and ran a charity tennis event later in life), Lester and Convy go at it on the court. At least some of this sweat is surely real!

Riggs was married three times and fathered six children, but Lester was gay and died of a heart attack at only age 53 in 2003.

One of Convy's principal "tricks" is Edie Adams, who insists on fantasy role-playing in bed. She has what would be compared to the Lee Grant role from Shampoo, complete with a younger niece who takes Convy for a ride, too.

This movie brought back memories for me of just how big (in popularity and size) houseplants were in the late-'70s! It seemed like everyone had big ferns and other plants hanging in macrame holders!

Convy is seen here with Adams in a Cleopatra-esque fantasy. Before long, her husband Phill Silvers is home unexpectedly, donning a turkey outfit to chase her around in.

The still in-shape Convy is continually removing his clothes, though we don't ever see a whole lot. Here, he's coming home where he lives with a female roommate and instantly begins to shuck down. Note the plants... Oh, and you'll never guess who plays the roommate! (Unless you already read the poster carefully.)

There's this blink & you'll miss it moment of him in his tighty-whities. 

His roomie is played by Tanya Roberts! She'd been working on TV and in movies for about three years at this point, but would make her biggest splash in 1980 when she became the newest member of Charlie's Angels.

His chief love interest in the movie is Lynda Day George. The two share a variety of dating and love-making montages set to music.

Her husband Christopher George had doffed his duds for Playgirl in 1974, but this is probably the closest thing Lynda ever did to a nude scene. She has a braless embrace under a waterfall and is canoodling with Convy in the de rigueur hot tub.

One other casting notable was the outre Susan Tyrrell as a real estate agent showing Convy a prospective site for his tennis school, but winding up getting balled herself. LOL

It's during this sequence that Convy offers up some revealing blue jeans. He's not generally one who pops up in the many posts here concerning bulges.

The movie isn't good, but it's undemanding and goes by pretty quickly. It also contains a number of interesting L.A. and Malibu locations and shots of the city from a time long gone. (It must be said that the type of humor in it is also long-gone for the most part, with fat jokes, gay jokes, etc...)

Needless to say, since he's almost the whole show here, fans of Convy don't want to miss it! 

As these Australian lobby photos can attest, the movie was intended to be even racier than it was in the end. The shot of Bert in his undies is not in the movie, nor is that angle of him and Day George in the hot tub. The locker room scene at bottom left never happens at all. He does play Bjorn Borg, though, during a tournament near the climax of the film. Three women (who may or may not have landed in the finished movie) were part of a Penthouse tie-in spread, but the film was in-and-out of theaters in a heartbeat. Players (1979), which also had a tennis theme and debuted the same month, was moderately more successful.

The End!