Thursday, October 12, 2023

Let's Play Master and "Serpent!"

I tend to profile a lot of lesser-known bits of campy cinema here. Today's film isn't a household name, but unlike many others, this is pretty notorious as an example of cheapo, so-bad-it's-good movie-making. If I tell you it was produced and directed by Roger Corman in 1958, that's a big clue! Often referred to as "Viking Women and the Sea Serpent," the full title is actually far longer: The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent! Corman, unable to come up with a short title that suggested the plot line (!), opted to go full boar and generate one of the cinema's longest ever! Conversely, the movie itself is a mere hour and six minutes. As such, it goes down pretty easily with a lot of action in various forms, hooty dialogue and performances and, best of all, some nice doses of beefcake along the way. You heard me right... don't avoid this due to it's title. There are Viking men around as well, in addition to a swarthy head of the enemy guards.

Corman deliberately went for the cliche and started off the movie with portentous narration and a leather-bound book...

...which opens to reveal the unwieldy title!

As our saga begins, the men of a (small?) Viking community called Stannjold have gone out to sea in search of a new place to live. As it's now been three years (!), the leftover ladies are wondering what to do.

We meet the title females gathered in the woods together. I thought for a second I'd stumbled into a Dorothy Malone movie that she'd scratched from her resume, but this is not she.

As is their custom, the eleven Viking women take a vote (on whether to stay put or go off in search of their menfolk) via hurling spears at one tree or the other.

Abby Dalton wants to leave. Her beloved is somewhere out there and she wants to find him. About half of the other women want to stay and wait some more.

"One of these things is not like the other..." Can you use your powers of ESP to ascertain which of these eleven gals is likely to become a fly in the ointment?

Dalton points out an omen in the clouds, that their men beckon. That's some cloud formation, with even an eye in the creature that forms the bow!

On the voting goes until it is six to six.

We next discover that the women aren't completely devoid of a male around... Jonathan Haze is on-hand, watching the vote. I don't know if the diminutive Haze was left behind as a runt or what, but he didn't make the voyage with the men and he doesn't seem to be cutting it with the women either!

Ultimately, it's up to Dalton's nemesis Susan Cabot to cast the deciding vote. To her amazement, Cabot votes with Dalton, to leave! But there is a motive... Cabot has it bad for Dalton's man and feels she may be able to make a play for him once they're all reunited.

The decision made, all the gals pitch in and build the boat that will take them out to sea.

They use their elbow grease to get the all-important rudder in place.

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale saga..."

They aren't even off the beach before the rudder breaks off!! Instead of starting over, they instead choose to head on out and use an oar (!) to help guide them. (In real life, the rudder breaking free was unplanned, but rather than take time to redo the shot on the very tight schedule, Corman opted to just write the event in.)

With that, they head out to sea with Dalton leading the way.

Betsy Jones-Moreland is manning the oar when she suddenly realizes that the pelt at her feet is moving!

An uninvited Haze has stowed away! (Was he supposed to remain behind 100% alone?!) In a hilarious sequence, Jones-Moreland hides him from the other ladies, then proceeds to feed him and carry on a full conversation with the other occupants, literally, feet away, yet no one notices...

By the next morning, all is apparently forgiven anyway. They're too far out now to send him back, so he's welcomed into the clatch.

But before anyone can get too comfy, the Viking Women come face-to-face with the Giant Sea Serpent!

There are crashing waves, a whirlpool and all sorts of treats in store as the perilous voyage becomes all too real.

The boat is trashed and half the gals are MIA when the survivors wash up like recently opened sardines onto an unfamiliar beach.

This is what greets them; hunky Michael Forest and an assortment of badly-bewigged henchmen.

Forest is quick with a whip and soon coerces the survivors to come with him. It's a dusty, craggy trek in which the captives are frequently mistreated if they step out of line. On the way, they pass a cave, but aren't given a moment to wonder about it.

It's all worth it in the end because there's a Knights Inn nearby and they've left a light on! Ha ha ha! Nah, it's just the barbarians' home base.

The confused captives have no clue what's in store for them, but are scarcely given a chance to ponder their fate anyway. As they near the castle, Forest forcibly drags Dalton inside as the rest are made to follow. (Oh, and as far as I know, none of these necklaces made it into The Cat Creature!)

And the inside is quite something! A high-ceilinged party room, complete with fire-pit, looms before them.

Haze points out that there is no way this could be the work of barbarians. Vikings built this!

Parading into the hall is Genghis Khan Richard Devon, head of the barbarians. 

After carefully looking over each of the female captives, he's confronted by Haze. The two get quite up close and personal and Haze is stunned to discover that Devon speaks their very tongue! He picked it up from some prior visitors.

Appearing now, leaning against the wall as if he's been loitering around a public toilet, is Jay Sayer as Devon's son.

This role of an immature, sneering weakling was written for a 15 year-old, but Sayer was nearly 25! This affords the entire thing a hysterical added layer of camp. Papa Devon was only 16 years older than Sayer.

Jay Sayer claimed to have taken inspiration from another Jay, Jay Robinson in The Robe (1953), when creating his character and it shows. Robinson was an unbelievably outrageous and flamboyant performer, especially in period epics.

He hilariously gives Haze the once (or twice) over and Devon has to somehow keep a straight face. Anyway... They are about to go on a boar hunt and they challenge the Vikings to come along and take part/observe.

When Sayer gets near the boar, he falls from his horse and is petrified.

Girl... you 'bout to get boared!

Fortunately for him, Dalton is nearby. She rides up and slays the beast before it can get its tusks into him.

Far from grateful, though, Sayer is livid that a woman killed the boar instead of him. He's afraid his father will beat him if it is discovered. Dalton agrees to keep quiet that it was she who stuck the pig.

There's a celebratory feast complete with live entertainment. This dancer does a bunch of beatnik-ish moves while "the band," the old coot in a fright wig to the left, beats out rhythm on a loosely tied "drum!"

In any case, it doesn't last long because when horny Forest can't get anywhere mauling young Kenney, he takes matters into his own hands with the dancer.

Sayer, all decked out for the occasion, can't quite hide his humiliation at having not slayed the boar (plopped in the lower right corner) himself.

In an effort to prove his manhood, he challenges Dalton to a match of arm wrestling!

Nothing says, "I'll show YOU I'm a man" like taking on a female this way... After a score of 1-1, Devon doesn't take any chances that sonny boy might lose and he calls the third round off.

I don't think Jay Robinson was the only inspiration for this character. I think Sayer must have lined up a time or two in order to see Miss Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face (1957), too!

The festivities are far from over, however. An aggravated Haze takes on Forest. These two are always going at it.

Forest flip-flops the situation and manages to best his smaller opponent.

Then he picks up his prey like a piece of wounded meat...

...and lays him on the table as if he's the next course! Devon is by now tired of pussyfooting around. He has the Viking women marched out to that cave they spotted earlier on.

Here at last we spy the elusive Viking men, or what's left of them. There are only four now. They've been shackled and put away in this cave to pound rocks all day.

Like a Nordic version of reverse musical chairs, three of the slaves are reunited with their lady-friends while one is left alone.

We get a look at the man (Brad Jackson) that Dalton and Cabot have been squabbling over. You have to hear this man speak his lines to truly believe the somnambulist quality he offers up. Perhaps he was trying to convey a beaten-down persona, but it is rib-tickling to say the least.

Devon decides the gooey reunion is over. He orders the women taken to a cell in the castle and for Haze to be locked up here alongside the other Viking men. (At last, he's graduated! Devon thought he and Jones-Moreland were a couple, requiring separation.) By the way, the HUNK at far left is none other than Gary Conway in an early part.

Devon informs the women that his men are already gnawing at who will get his chance with which one of them.

Dalton exclaims that they will never submit to "savages." Devon leaves them to rest up for the big day (of love!) tomorrow. Dalton's little sister Kenney is slight enough that she actually is able to slide out the prison's barred window! So she heads off to the cave.

Meanwhile, Haze listens as Jackson explains why there are so few Viking men left and why they are so emotionally depleted. It seems that for every escape attempt that was made in the early days, two men were put to the sword.

One look at the woman on the left should clue you in on why the barbarians are so hot on getting some replenishment in the bedroom department. A scuffle breaks out when the old bat tries to take one of the women's jewelry.

During this distraction, Cabot is able to slink out of the cell.

Kenney arrives at the cave to find the men in various stages of sleep, but guarded by a barbarian (who's drifted off himself.)

She shops for just the right rock with which to bash the guard in the head. The one she's on now is too heavy. She finally settles on one that looks like an oversized coffee bean!

The slaves freed, they attempt to exit the cave led by Conway, seen here in all his muscular glory.

But things rarely work out the way we want. Devon and his queen son are lying in wait!

Pardon the pun, but get a load of the diaper on Sayer.

Before they can get any further than the mouth of the cave, Devon's men overtake the Vikings.

By now the women have gotten free and are there in time to see the men defeated.

Dalton exclaims that she and the others are betrothed to the captives and will never stop fighting for them.

Devon tells her she'll see about that... tomorrow. Then he points to the water and lets her in on the fact that he and his people are protected by the great serpent, "devourer of their enemies."  

It is here that we are treated to an uncredited appearance from Oliver J. Dragon, better known as on third of the popular Kukla, Fran and Ollie kiddie show!

Cabot is still working the angles. She appeals to Devon to let her see her beloved Jackson.

All the while, she makes it clear to Devon that she only wants Jackson as a whim and would be available to him as well...!

She creeps into the cave where the men are catching forty winks (again!)

She appeals to Jackson to join with her and save himself.

While not repulsed by her, he remains loyal to Dalton and turns her down flat. Needless to say she is furious at being scorned this way.

The next morning, as the song goes... it's getting hot in here!

The Vikings are invited to the barbecue.

Sayer, assuming one of his favorite stances, is ready for the games to begin.

Devon informs his victims that the first one to beg for his or her life will be saved, leaving the other one to die! Naturally, neither one wants to comply with this.

It's Sayer's privilege to "lighten" things up!

As you can see here, the barbarians are positively enthralled...!

You just don't cross Cabot...

Believe it or not, there is still a fair amount of action left in this brief flick, but I won't spoil it. I will tell you, though, that Haze and Forest have still another scuffle, this time in the surf.

I will tell you that I didn't look into the filming locations at all when composing this post, so I don't know, but this is all very familiar somehow...


This movie was pretty much a camp delight and there is a gorgeous print of it for viewing here. Filmed in ten days for an unfathomable $65K, the cast did all their own stunts (!) and were put through their paces to the nth degree. (Corman had more than seventy setups per day... unheard of!) And, of course, the movie made money. How could it not?! He'd been led down a garden path over what were supposed to be terrific effects and that didn't happen, but he always managed to turn a profit somehow. I can't recommend it enough for the unintentional comedy throughout.

Dalton was given her start on screen by Corman and worked in Rock All Night and Teenage Doll (both 1957) prior to this. Initially, she was not the lead in Women, but the initial actress, Kipp Hamilton, had begun to make inroads and wanted more money. She was fired and Dalton took over. Her own real-life sister was to be in the movie, too, but fell off a horse during filming (!) and was replaced by Kenney. Dalton was able to move through this early phase and emerge as a lively game show panelist and an appealing sitcom presence on The Joey Bishop Show and the serio-comic Hennesey, for which she was Emmy-nominated. (She lost to Don Knotts of The Andy Griffith Show - ! - before that category was divided by sex.) Later, she made an impact as Jane Wyman's daughter on Falcon Crest, semi-retiring as the year 2000 loomed. Dalton died of an undisclosed illness in 2020 at age 88.

Cabot's real life rivaled practically any scripted project she might have undertook, including her most famous part of The Wasp Woman (1959.) Having been abandoned by her father and with her mother in a mental institution, Cabot was subjected to abuse in a series of foster homes. Marrying at 17 to escape that hell, she eventually made her way to the movies in 1947. Typecast as either Indians, island beauties or love interests in westerns, she departed the biz, returning only after having appeared on stage for a while. Returning to films via Corman, it was tough work, but she was afforded some fun parts. She engaged in a long affair with the King of Jordan, even bearing a son of his in 1964. The son was a dwarf and plagued by health concerns. Cabot's own mental health was in peril as she suffered from depression, PTSD and hoarding. One night in 1986, when she awakened disoriented and attacked her son, he killed her in purported self-defense! She was 59. It's remarkable that no one ever based a movie or miniseries on her. Her performance in Women is remarkably restrained and skillful considering the era and the circumstances. She alleged that she had at least two near misses during the filming, one involving a horse and a cliff, the other in a sinking boat!   

Third-billed Jackson had toiled in bit roles and uncredited parts for several years at Universal. He pops up in Taza, Son of Cochise (1953), Playgirl and Magnificent Obsession, both 1954. (I wonder how many people have been directed by both Roger Corman and Douglas Sirk!) After working on TV in guest spots, he returned to movies with small roles in Kim Novak's Jeanne Eagels and Pat Boone's April Love (both 1957) along with the male lead in Women. But his screen career was basically over within another year. After a long while out of the limelight, he died in 2009 at age 80 of undisclosed causes.

As mentioned above, Kenney was not initially intended for this role, but stepped in after an on-set injury. Having begun on local stages, she won bit parts in some early-1950s movies prior to coming to work for Corman in movies such as Teenage Doll and Sorority Girl (both 1957.) Later titles include Attack of the Puppet People, Hot Car Girl (both 1958) and Bloodlust! (1961.) With these, the writing was on the wall regarding a major career as a movie actress and she departed the scene after an uncredited part in Village of the Giants (1965), segueing into radio ad voiceovers. She died in 2021 at age 87 of undisclosed causes.

Devon, of Italian descent, helped his family make ends meet as a stable boy. This put him in great stead as a young adult for work in the countless TV and movie westerns of the 1950s. His rugged, dark features ensured that he would often be cast as a bad guy, not only on westerns, but in many crime shows as well. He had a semi-regular role on the Jock Mahoney series Yancy Derringer and appeared many times on The Rifleman, Daniel Boone and Bonanza, but rare is the 1960s TV western show on which he did not appear. This was balanced by multiple roles on Lassie, The F.B.I. and Perry Mason, among others. Retiring at the dawn of the 1990s, he lived until 2010 when vascular disease claimed him at age 83.

Like many of the performers featured here, Jones-Moreland went from the stage to minor roles in movies to more substantial parts in Corman movies. She managed to balance supporting roles in legitimate cinema such as Day of the Outlaw (1959) and Strangers When We Meet (1960) with leads in Corman projects like Last Woman on Earth (1960) and Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961.) She did many TV guest roles and the occasional movie bit, spending much of the 1970s on Days of Our Lives as well in multiple guest roles. Having once been a guest on Perry Mason (and indeed Ironside as well), she popped up from 1990-1993 as a memorable judge in seven Perry Mason revival TV-movies. Retiring thereafter, she was felled by cancer in 2006 at age 76.

Haze was working as a gas station attendant when a director decided he must have him to fill a role in a Corman-produced flick called Monster from the Ocean Floor (1954.) A variety of small roles in other movies followed including Apache Woman (1955) and Swamp Women (1956.) His dark hair was bleached for Viking Women. He remained associated with Corman output and in 1960 won the role of Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors, later musicalized to great success. By the mid-'60s, Haze was segueing into writing and behind-the-scenes production with only a few acting roles to come. All the work he'd done for Corman and others ultimately led to a successful career as a producer of TV commercials. Mr. Haze is still among us today at age 94!

The on-screen career of Sayer was brief. A Manhattanite who won roles on live TV, he went to Hollywood and soon became part of the Corman pool of performers.  The same year as Viking Women, he appeared in Teenage Doll and Sorority Girl. But after just two more minor movies in minor movies, he was no longer in the biz. His petulant performance in an age-inappropriate part provide a lot of the camp value in this movie. So far as I can tell, Mr. Sayer is still alive today at age 91.

Working on movies of this sort must have been good for the soul on some level because towering Forest is also still alive today at age 94. He has his own tribute here in the Underworld that you may enjoy reading if you're interested further. You've probably seen him in various things in which you didn't even recognize him.

Finally, we have Conway, who is also still with us today at age 87. The physique model was making his on-screen debut here. There is a tribute to Conway here in the Underworld if you care to know more about him.

Conway in his youth, showing just-shy-of-everything for the camera.
 

This epic post about a sort of epic movie is going to be the last one for just a while. I'm going off on a trip of my own, though only as far as Florida! I'll be able to monitor and release comments, but otherwise won't have any computer access nor any ability to generate any content for P.U. But I'll be back asap to provide more thrills and titters. Just wanted you all to know that nothing is wrong if you don't see anything after this for a bit. Thanks and love! 

The End!


9 comments:

Alan Scott said...

I saw this when it was riffed on Mystery Science Theater 3000!

hsc said...

Thanks for giving this one your always-fabulous review, Poseidon!

This was one that I encountered on the late show back in HS, after having read in an early edition of Leonard Maltin's movie guide about the ridiculously long original title that still shows up onscreen.

Corman was actually ahead of the loop on that title; after Stanley Kubrick's 1964 hit DR. STRANGELOVE OR: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB and that year's stage success THE PERSECUTION AND ASSASSINATION OF JEAN-PAUL MARAT AS PERFORMED BY THE INMATES OF THE ASYLUM OF CHARENTON UNDER THE DIRECTION OF THE MARQUIS DE SADE, which was filmed in 1967, there was a brief thing for film titles so long they had to be appreviated on marquees and posters.

It was so popular that MGM released Roman Polanski's 1967 comedy DANCE OF THE VAMPIRES as THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS OR: PARDON ME, BUT YOUR TEETH ARE IN MY NECK-- which they then advertised with only the first four words, despite the onscreen title.

Occasionally, the forced shortening for the marquee led to unexpected results: the comedy I COULD NEVER HAVE SEX WITH ANY MAN WHO HAS SO LITTLE REGARD FOR MY HUSBAND (1973) wound up as the dire-sounding I COULD NEVER HAVE SEX, while the early gay-rights film IT IS NOT THE HOMOSEXUAL WHO IS PERVERSE, BUT THE SOCIETY IN WHICH HE LIVES (1971) wound up as IT IS NOT THE HOMOSEXUAL (okay, then who is it?).

Lina Wertmueller was one of the last directors to keep this going, giving us THE BLUE COLLAR WORKER AND THE HAIRDRESSER IN A WHIRL OF SEX AND POLITICS as recently as 1996-- having previously hit the all-time record in 1978 with a 29-word, 179-character title that got released nearly everywhere as BLOOD FEUD or the even shorter REVENGE.


Anyway, Corman's film-- which was probably put into production as a quickie cash-in on the big-budget Kirk Douglas-Tony Curtis-Janet Leigh "epic" THE VIKINGS (1958, itself based on a best-selling 1951 book)-- at least gets its full title onscreen with that "huge leather-bound volume with slowly turning pages" trope I fell in love with when I first saw it in Disney's SLEEPING BEAUTY and all the later animated classics.

You've done such a magnificent job of running down the ridiculous moments of this film-- I particularly loved "wash up like recently opened sardines" and the call-outs to Audrey Hepburn's FUNNY FACE head necklace, Oliver J. Dragon, and FROM HERE TO ETERNITY!

Speaking of beaches, the opening shot transforms a California beach into a "Scandinavian" shore with a matte painting of snow-capped mountain peaks. I wonder if this painting and the one providing the barbarian castle ("Knight's Inn... and they've left a light on" was another good one) were retreads from another film?

Since I haven't seen this film since I was about 17, I enjoyed being reminded of why it *ahem* made an impact. Oddly enough, I found Jonathan Haze particularly hot at the time, though he didn't do anything for me in other roles. It was also great to see the unfortunately obscure Brad Jackson again, and to learn that Gary Conway was that blond hunk without a woman.

It was also great to realize that the swarthy barbarian hunk was Michael Forest, who I best knew from STAR TREK as the shaved-smooth, nipple-obliterated, golden god "Apollo"-- here we get to see his natural chest hair, even if that vest covered his nipples for much of the film.

I did enjoy the tussling between Forest and Haze at the time when I was watching as a teen, and thanks to having the whole film framecapped for my *ahem* leisurely perusal, I can now add Jackson and Conway to that *ahem* tussling, making Haze one very busy little guy! (And then he and Conway can settle down, since neither of them had a woman.)


Thanks for another great post, Poseidon, and for all you do! Have fun in Florida and be safe! We'll miss ya!

Love to all and be safe and well, everyone!

A said...

I would watch this for Michael Forest in a fur vest. And for him wrestling Jonathan Haze while wearing the fur vest.

Jay Sayer is sorta attractive yet kinda creepy. Those screen caps of him are hilarious.

Thanks for the great post and enjoy Florida. But hurry back!

Gingerguy said...

Wow! I had this on DVD somewhere and remember watching it and laughing a lot. I forgot about it. This is a hilarious review, all that bleached blond hair on the guys took me back to the 80's, especially Jonathan Haze. He's hot in a surly way.
Ask and ye shall receive, Susan Cabot is the subject of an upcoming off Broadway play called "Ode To The Wasp Woman" starring Sean Young, I kid you not. Of course I'm going!

MJL said...

Hmmm. Wonder if Haze was working at Scotty Bowers' gas station when he was "discovered"?

http://ricksrealreel.blogspot.com/ said...

Have a nice break in Florida, Poseidon!
This movie looks riveting, for all the wrong reasons, must check it out!
Cheers, Rick

joel65913 said...

I watched this “opus” the first time because of Abby Dalton who I’ve loved since I was a kid due to her penchant for game show appearances. Mostly on the various editions of the 10,000/25,000 etc. Pyramid where she proved herself a strong player (perhaps not Shelley Smith level but who was?) though she could jump right in and join the craziness of the Hollywood Squares. It wasn’t just game shows though I loved her on reruns of The Joey Bishop show as well. I’ve always found her quite fetching with her cute overbite, ladylike demeanor and zany sense of humor. I also developed a fondness for Mary Treen on that show as their plain talking maid Hilda. That time I was mostly focused on Abby and thought she was fine and the movie silly.

I did revisit this a few years ago, right around the time Miss Dalton passed away, I think. This time out I definitely took more notice of that dreamy Mark Forest and several other fine specimens running around and the strong homoerotic underpinnings (some not so submerged even!) but I couldn’t help but notice how on the cheap it all was. I can’t say I’ll never clap eyes on it again, maybe some stormy Saturday morning when I need something mindless in the background, but I certainly won’t deliberately seek it out.

marksparky said...

Loved your post! I almost spewed my coffee when you mentioned Sayer must've used Audrey Hepburn for inspiration--her little hat in 'Sabrina'!

Unknown said...

Isn't Forest Apollo on ST?