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| PETER MARSHALL: "Your house just burned down... Who's more upset about it, you or your wife?" PAUL LYNDE: "Oh, I am... I'll miss her terribly..." (real answer: men.) |
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| PETER: "What should you tell a 14 year-old boy who insists that he has no interest in girls?" PAUL LYNDE: "Your slip is showing...!" (real answer: Nothing. He still has a lot of time to work up to an interest...) BTW, I'm still waiting! LOL |
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| PETER: " What great composer once told us, in song, 'I Get Along Without You Very Well?'" SONNY BONO: "Hmmm... Those words are familiar." (real answer: Hoagy Carmichael.) Sonny's famed marriage to Cher had recently ended... |
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| PETER: "Are Las Vegas showgirls now regretting the silicone implants they had done in the past?" DEBBIE REYNOLDS: "Oh, I dunno... just that it's slipped and made their ankles really big..." (real answer: Yes. Reports from Las Vegas doctors say that many problems are cropping up [ - "or down, whatever the case may be!" as ad-libbed by Peter.]) |
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| PETER: "According the the World Book [Encyclopedia], what is the main thing we get from Honduras?" PAUL: "You got it, too??" (real answer: Bananas.) |
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| PETER: "In the great novel, Robinson Crusoe called his new friend Friday because he did something nice for him on a Friday? What did Friday do for Robinson Crusoe?" MIKE CONNORS: "Well... He'd been there a long time before he found Friday, hadn't he? ... It wouldn't be that, I don't think." (real answer: He saved his life from the cannibals.) |
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| PETER: "What is the major cause of itching in old folks?" PAUL: "Eating shredded wheat in bed." (real answer: Excessive dryness due to loss of body oils.) |
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| PETER: "In song, she has a brow that is furrowed and wrinkled with care... who is she?" PAUL: "Oh... Eydie Gorme...." (real answer: Mother Machree.) |
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| PETER: "Do experts ever recommend putting mayonnaise in your hair?" WAYLAND/MADAME: "I was at a place the other night and there was a flash fire at a Dynel wig party... it was terrible!" (real answer: Many beauty experts say it works as a great conditioner.) |
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| PETER: "True or false, you've probably spent about a third of your life... in bed." PAUL: "I've got a list of references as long as your arm...!" (real answer: Yes.) |
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| PETER: "According to food experts, where exactly should you place your turkey thermometer?" TINA TURNER: "Is this the family hour? The breast." (real answer: In the leg, in the center of the inner thigh muscle.) |
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| PETER: "Are there exercises you can do to prevent your bosoms from sagging?" PAUL: "Yes, but it requires pierced ears and some kite string..." (real answer: No.) |
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| PETER: "You have some lipstick on your collar... Will treating the stain with petroleum jelly help?" GEORGE GOBEL: "I'm gonna have a hard enough time explaining the lipstick..." (real answer: Yes.) |
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| PETER: "You're marrying a man who's been married before... is it all right to wear a veil?" PAUL: "Naw, I'm just gonna wear a baseball cap..." (real answer: Yes.) |
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| PETER: "According to experts, does anything really good happen to you when you stand on your head?" VINCENT PRICE: "Oh yes, I found out how my housekeeper keeps her stockings up!" (real answer: Yes, you get an added flow of blood to the brain.) |
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| PETER: "True or false, the size your goldfish will grow to is influenced by the size of the bowl you keep him in." JOAN RIVERS: "If that's so, I'm going to buy over-large brassieres from now on..." (real answer: Yes.) |
~~~ BONUS PICS ~~~
I leave you with a few shots of some ladies who caught my attention while watching (but were not willing or able to come up with anything glib to say most of the time.
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| Miss Sandra Dee! |
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| Britt Ekland! |
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| Pamela Hensley |
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| Petula Clark! |
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| Miss Pearl Bailey! |
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| The Merm! |
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| Shirley Jones (who I hope was with child when she selected this Clarabelle the Clown ensemble...) |
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| Connie Stevens |
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| Miss Pam Grier! |
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| Amanda Blake |
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| Fantabulous Lee Grant! |
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| ...and that enduring national treasure, Miss Dolly Parton! |
8 comments:
So did Peter’s jacket plug in or was it battery powered?
What most surprises me here are some of the people who appeared - Petula Clark? Tina Turner? FOXY BROWN!?! And what is with Debbie’s getup, she looks like she’s doing a road version of “Sunset Boulevard”.
Just watched “Scotty”, the biography/documentary about Scotty Bowers, procurer to the stars. He chats with a former member of his stable who recalls that most of their “clients” were very nice people - but Paul Lynde was a disgusting mess. No details. And, probably, no surprise.
Great fun, Poseidon!
Seems like a fan made that shirt for Paul Lynde, seriously. Why do I recall these things?
Cheers, Rick
I loved this show and I loved watching Paul Lynde on it. However, I somehow don't really recall him being so explicitly gay as in "Naw, I'm just gonna wear a baseball cap...". I do remember reading years later how vehemently he denied being gay if ever asked about it directly (that may have been what made me misremember).
Great post as usual, Poseidon!
Thanks again!
A.
The Vaseline joke was hilarious
Oh dear, I'm a bit distressed to learn that it was the writers who came up with those zingers for Paul Lynde et al. Oh well, another illusion shattered! Enjoyed the post anyway.
Dan, I was startled about these people appearing, too! It was why I included Tina, even though her "zinger" wasn't anything all that hilarious. Then I decided to opt for some plain photos of the other glamorous strangers to the "Squares." ;-) I would have to check my tome to see if there is more about Paul than the documentary relayed. His later years were, in a word, rough....!
Rick, he addressed in one ep I watched that he had that shirt specially made. He wore it a LOT during a certain phase of the show. ;-) But the stars often got gifts sent in, so perhaps it was another one. I think he had more than one specialty shirt.
A, he was in that awkward time when some people were sort of in/out (and not officially!) Charles Nelson Reilly tread the same path, I guess. I recall reading that when Paul was fat, it was a sort of safety net because few people think about (or thought about, then) a heavy person's sex life (!), especially a funny one, but as he got slimmer and tan and blonder, it started to come more into question. I also think that when he made some of these pretty risque answers, he wasn't necessarily meaning "first person" but sort of skating around the matter and trying to remain somewhat outside the punchline. Which could be why so many of these went straight over my grandparents' heads! LOL
Gingerguy, and from GEORGE. GOBEL. !!! :-O
Huston, Peter Marshall announced the fact at the start of every episode.... but people often didn't listen! Sorry to pop the balloon. :-[ Maybe he occasionally did cough up one of his own. Not sure. Thanks.
Catching up with so many old posts. This one is a particular delight! You selected a roster of fabulous zingers and celebrity pics. So many of these folks I had no idea ever appeared on Hollywood Squares. Loved it!
Ken, welcome back, friend! Glad you enjoyed this (and have been wading through the rest.) I had a pretty prolific February around here, as you could see. :-) Getting mired down again lately with that pesky thing called work. Ha ha! Thanks.
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