Guard These with Your Life!

Ahh, Labor Day. That's a bittersweet holiday in The Underworld because although we always go off to an annual theatre convention that weekend, it also signals the end of swimming pool season as we know it. We can never wait for Memorial Day, when the pools in this area open, and get a bit down the closer Labor Day looms. So we're perking things up a little today with some photos of lifeguards! Some are famous, a few not. (And, yes, this is your webmaster, lolling by the pool with a fun summer read... one of my faithful readers who saw this picture in an e-mail mentioned ironically that there is more than one "summer place" depicted in it!  LOL I'm taking that as a personal compliment.)

The angle of the above picture has made me feel like I've got two ham hocks for legs and since I actually pride myself on possessing legs that are amongst my best features (a limited category to be sure!), I'm showing them at another, more flattering, angle!

Here is famed funnyman Buster Keaton as a lifeguard in a silent comedy short (Coney Island, 1917?) alongside Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle (in female drag.)

Another legendary comic, Eddie Cantor, cuts up on the lawn in lifeguard uniform.

Out of their Tarzan and Jane drag, we find Olympian Johnny Weissmuller and Maureen O'Sullivan on the beach.

Here's another look at Weissmuller in his period swimwear.

We worship at the altar of Buster Crabbe and would almost have feigned drowning in order for him to come to the rescue!

Actor-turned Prez Ronald Reagan, nicknamed "Dutch," was an athletic youth and a lifeguard at that time.

These gents aren't famous, but how could I leave these brawny lads out of the line-up?

I'm only pretending that Gilbert Roland was a lifeguard this day, but, again, how could I leave him out? If you only know him from his later, weathered and painfully thin appearances, this portrait is a revelation.

During the making of 1920s-set Some Like It Hot (1959), Marilyn Monroe is watched over by a lifeguard in a period suit.

For many years, the lifeguards of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware have been posing for postcards. We live for the Ken doll (and G.I. Joe) looks of some of these guys. Over the years, more and more female lifeguards have joined the roster. There were only three at this time.

Back in the day, there wasn't a female guard in sight! (It's interesting to note, though, the presence of a black lifeguard in these earlier times, something that was absent for many years after.)

Look at all the tan beef (and furry before it became en vogue to shear and shave oneself to nil...)

Of course we cannot overlook the movie Lifeguard (1976), which featured a ton of Speedo-clad lifeguards engaged in an athletic competition.

The movie starred Sam Elliott and costarred Parker Stevenson, both seen here in their skimpy suits.

True, we aren't in love with their little swim caps, but we'll work around it!

I don't know if any lifeguard was ever as hunky as Mr. Elliott. You can see more shots from this movie by clicking on a previous Speedo tribute here.

Who can forget the day Princess Diana presented awards to a set of Australian lifeguards?

She seemed to be very pleased with the task at hand (and who could blame her?!)

Sometimes it's good to be the Princess...

I cannot imagine, however, meeting The Princess of Wales with white zinc oxide on my lips (or, as shown earlier above, nose...) I presume this was before they developed clear z.o.?

In the '70s and '80s, it was common for lifeguards to wear the famous Speedo, though such a thing is practically unheard of now.

Considering the subject matter, I guess I'm gonna have to feature some guys from Baywatch (1989-2001), a series I never watched, which starred David Hasselhoff.

The Hoff was cute in those early years, though, wasn't he? And for a while he was joined by Lifeguard star Parker Stevenson, though he took an early hike from the show.

Hasselhoff kept himself in terrific shape as the series wore on, but somehow he lost his easy, handsome looks and physique and became hard and severe-looking. (Is this what people find attractive? Maybe I'm just out of the loop...)

You'd never know it from this photo, but costar David Charvet is 6' tall and only 4" shorter than Hasselhoff.

Early castmate Billy Warlock.

Jason Brooks and his washboard abs.

Michael Bergin

My own personal fave from this bunch, David Chokachi.

The '80s kid in me has a hard time resisting the combination of blue eyes, blond hair and tan skin...

Surf's up!

Lastly, not from Baywatch, this is dreamy Dean Cain, more famous from Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (1993-1997.)

Which brings us to... The End!