Crashing Some Symbols

No, I'm not THAT illiterate... not cymbals... Symbols. As in phallic symbols. Ha! For many years, publicity photos of the stars have, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not, been imbued with certain characteristics. I'm talking about a replacement object sitting in for the penis. Take this (in)famous shot of Tab Hunter offering up his wiener to visitor Roddy McDowall. And, of course, rock stars have long used a microphone stand as the suggestion of an aroused member (demonstrated by Queen's Freddie Mercury below.)

Long, hard objects have been used in bodybuilding portraits to help suggest virility and masculinity (though frankly, the beauteous Steve Reeves really didn't need such props in our opinion!)

In our endless quests for portraits of the stars we admire, we do occasionally come across some rather amusing and eye-opening poses. Perhaps not every single one of the pictures here today scores a 10, but there are enough now to warrant a post about it. We hope you enjoy!

Our beloved Buster Crabbe seems to be taking pleasure in fondling the sword he's using as Flash Gordon.

Okay, so maybe Rory Calhoun's saw isn't a direct extension of his manhood, but why not include a shirtless photo of him?

If that didn't bring any impure thought to mind, how about Rory breaking out his massive shooter for The Treasure of Pancho Villa (1955)?

I "Saw" What Rock Hudson Did...  LOL Now you have to admit there's something a little sketchy about the pose chosen for this picture.

Here we find Ken Clark (do click on his name for more of this hirsute hunk!) in barbarian costume showing off his dagger to a starlet.

Goodness me... Fetishists may like this one of Kirk Douglas getting it from both sides in Spartacus (1960.) The guard has something pointy and Peter Ustinov is wielding a long, hairy whip!

The Big Valley's Richard Long is showing off his (gun) shaft.

I think the expression makes the difference in this one rather than the positioning. Hugh O'Brian from The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp (1955-1961) seems to be inviting us grab a-hold of something!

Now this shot isn't particularly blatant, but in a tale (Sands of the Kalahari, 1965) heavily focused on male dominance, we couldn't resist posting a shot of scantily-clad Stuart Whitman and Stanley Baker grappling over a prominent horn.

Looky here... it's Andy Warhol star Joe Dallesandro wandering through the woods playing with his axe handle.

Michael Swan, onetime star of As theWorld Turns is showing wood in this suggestive pose, part of a non-nude spread he did for Playgirl magazine.

Notice the way Richard Chamberlain is gripping the handle of his sword in Shogun (1980.)

It's not enough that Arnold Schwarzenegger is brandishing a rather phallic sword in the 1985 actioner Red Sonja.  Just WHAT does costar Paul Smith have in his hands??

Marc Singer, who The Beastmaster (1982) was photographed with his sword, his sword handle and even the straps of his costuming conveying vague phallic imagery.

While some of the pics might count as a stretch, so to speak, how can you deny the effects of this one?! (It could almost be from a skin magazine layout...)

Highlander (1992-1998), starring Adrian Paul, offered up plenty of opportunities for sword-wielding photo shoots.

Here, Paul and guest star Christopher Lambert (who starred in the movie Highlander, 1986) cross swords.

The middle shot of this montage almost seems a bit climactic, don't you think?

Kevin Sorbo of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (1995-1999) needs two hands to hold onto his cleaver.

To dart back in time, we take a look at the popular western TV series The Rifleman (1958-1963), which centered on the title character (played by Chuck Connors) and his relationship with young son Johnny Crawford. In this case, the gun used even had a sort of testicular mechanism on it, used to... er... cock the rifle.

In some photos, Crawford delights in getting a grasp on the shaft of the gun...

In this shot, guest star Sammy Davis Jr. gets his hands on it.

The nature of the gun led to it being poised at crotch level quite often.

And curiosity about it could also bring about interesting set-ups.

However, none who have ever seen it will ever forget the shot of Connors and Crawford that didn't even include the famous Winchester! Instead, Connors got a hand with his sizable wood from Crawford (and read that caption, too!)

Now that we're back in the old west, we're going to wrap up this suggestive post with some portraits of our all-time favorite man, Mr. Clint Walker. Here we find him and his gun posing with Virginia Mayo for the film Fort Dobbs.

Somehow his shaft is making its presence known in this shot (even the shadow from it is intriguing.)

Now she's turned her back on him.  Hmmm...

In this (delicious) shot from the film, he works on his gun the morning after rescuing Mayo from a raging river.

Here we see Mr. W. with a saw much like the one Rock Hudson was playing with above.

Don't axe, don't tell...

Clearly, Clint was the king when it came to these beautiful, beefcake-y, gently (?) suggestive shots! Till next time, Poseidon!