Dame Joan, Italian Style

Up until the mid-1980s, I was - like plenty of people then and now - not really interested in "old" movies. Three people and one book (The Who's Who of the Cinema, 1987) really got things rolling. One was Alfred Hitchcock. When some of his 1950s classics were finally released for viewing again after a lengthy absence, that piqued my interest. Another was Eleanor Parker. I wanted to see what she was like prior to The Sound of Music (1965.) The third was Joan Collins. After reading her autobiography Past Imperfect, I found myself wanting to see some of the old movies she'd been in. The rest of my obsession with period movies sprang forth from these early excursions. I have seen the vast majority of Collins' output. There are some early British films I haven't seen, along with a few others, but not too many. But the one I'm shining a light on today is truly obscure. I'd never seen it, it's never, ever shown and, in fact, there isn't a single User Comment or Critic Review on imdb.com for it! La congiuntura (1965), which translates to "The Conjuncture," barely exists in people's minds. 

Unknown as it is, the movie (shot in 1964, but released in 1965 - and later in some areas) did have a go in US theaters by the name Hard Times for Princes.  

Also known in some quarters as "One Million Dollars," the movie, along with Marriage, Italian Style (1964), actually earned Vittorio Gassman a Best Actor David di Donatello award (the Italian equivalent of an Oscar!)

I must be honest now and tell you that - even now - I haven't truly experienced the movie in its entirety. All I could do was watch it without sound and take in the visuals. However, since I've always enjoyed seeing what La Collins has on in her roles, that was actually good enough! So I give you the rondolet of clothing, hair and makeup selections that she presented during this sojourn to Italy.

I recently told you how I managed to get a favorite site (which had somehow become blocked) freed up again so that I could discover all the hard-to-find things I want to see. Well, this was among them. But... the only version I could find had horrendous voice-over throughout the whole thing. So that's why I watched it with the sound off. If you should want to see this in motion, it's here. I'll also be upfront about something else. I'm holding back Collins' first "look" in the film because it was my very favorite! And, like Vanessa Williams, I try to save the best for last. Ha ha!

The basic plot line of "The Juncture" has beguiling Collins and Italian prince Gassman meeting up and pursuing one another for various reasons. He wants to make love to her, natch! She wants him to unwittingly aid her in transporting a million dollars out of the country, using his diplomatic immunity from customs as a smokescreen. That's just about all you need to know, really!

Along the way, they undergo various adventures, encounters and situations.

As you can see, black and white ensembles with large picture hats were not exactly foreign to Ms Collins when she took the role of Alexis on Dynasty nearly two decades later!

As flattering (and ultimately iconic) as this look was on JC, it was not selected for her. A stand-in had appeared wearing it in the prior year's cliffhanger (hence the dark veil and also large sunglasses) because the part had not yet been cast! Nevertheless, she would forevermore be seen in all sorts of hats during her tenure on the show.

For this scene, she sports a pink, patterned silk dress.

Her hairstyles (with the aid of wigs and pieces, of course) change often during the course of the movie. If one look didn't suit you, the next one might. Costumer Ugo Pericoli is credited on the film, but there is no question that Collins had input. As one who always applied her own makeup for the screen, she also collaborated on costumes and sometimes costumed herself completely.

For this sequence, she's posing for a photo in front of a printed backdrop.

Collins was 31 at the time this movie was being shot.

For a dinner date with Gassman, she sports a jumpsuit with beaded top.

I should say, a backless jumpsuit! (And Vidal Sassoon-ish hair.)

This movie was filmed all over Rome, Florence and other spots, including one of her favorites, Portofino. Thus, this beachside scene with all sorts of extra (many of which are wearing brief trunks and bikinis.)

Gassman opted out of wearing the then-popular skin-tight briefs, which are seen on various other beachgoers...

...but the Italian sausage that helped spur Shelley Winters on to marry him (1952-1954) did not escape our notice!

Even though she looks great, I couldn't help feeling like JC was perhaps a little self conscious in this two-piece. (She's only seen slunk down in that beach chair.) She had given birth to her first child, Tara Newley, in October of 1963, prior to reporting to Rome for this film the following September.

Her stay in Roma, along with the new baby, was highlighted in many local magazines and newspapers.

Famous as the man was, I really only know Gassman from a handful of things, chiefly Barabbas (1961) with Anthony Quinn, along with Rhapsody (1954), opposite Elizabeth Taylor, and The Miracle (1959) with Carroll Baker. He's also in War and Peace (1956), a movie I watch periodically of which, directly after seeing it, can recall almost NOTHING about! LOL

Here we have yet another completely different sort of look.

This being 1964, Collins is seen in a wide variety of bright colors from sunshine yellow to robin egg blue.

For this car ride (the two are repeatedly shown on various drives), she sports a jaunty bow in the back of her bouffant.

And perhaps Edith Head air-mailed her these sunglasses? Ha ha!

Here we see her in almost Melanie Daniels mode, making a call in a phone booth (which, alas, is not set upon by seagulls.)

In something of a surprise, this get-up turns out to be a top with matching pants, coordinated right down to the shoes!

Your eyes aren't deceiving you. Gassman didn't suddenly begin sporting chest hair after previously being seen shaved down...

This is Collins' actual boyfriend in the movie, played by none other than...

...dashing Jacques Bergerac!

She does a great job of expressing glee in this scene and I don't wonder why!

Sadly, his shirtless scene is unspeakably brief as he soon reaches for his robe after getting her all wet with that initial embrace and smooch.

This powder puff pink sleepwear ensemble only makes a fleeting appearance. Her hairstyle and head-tilt in the doorway give this a bit of a Claudine Lingerie, er, Longet feel.

By this point, Gassman is getting closer than ever to his goal.

Her final look has an appropriately bridal quality to it. Fans of Dynasty know that Collins favored belts like these all through her run on the series.

And they're back in the car once again, only this time not at opposite ends of the front seat, but instead close together. And now for that very first look, which I'd impishly held back. Some of you may not care for it. As far as I am concerned it was a stunning "juncture" of one of my favorite people on the planet and my favorite style of - well - style!

Gassman first spots Collins across the proverbial crowded room in an elegant nightclub. 

The higher the hair, the closer to God...!

Gassman and Collins stroll outside among various Italian sites and statuary.

In this shot, we're afforded a look at her from head to toe.

And here we find the recurring motif of the couple in the front seat of a car.

We hope you enjoyed this glimpse into a little-seen motion picture and its world-famous leading lady. Cheers, darlings, till next time!

Going Conway (Again!)

It's been fifteen years since I put up a post on Gary Conway. I don't typically do many repeats, but way back then my posts tended to be more abbreviated than they later became. While I was poking around the WWW, I stumbled upon some pics that had not been shared here before and so I thought I'd present them to you as something of a supplement to that long ago post. Conway is surely best known for essaying the male lead on Irwin Allen's 1968-1970 fantasy series Land of the Giants, as seen here in his Captain Steve Burton guise.

Conway's angular looks and fit physique provided a strong sense of heroism and looked terrific when placed against the sultry Deanna Lund.

Those angular looks could sometimes come off as quite severe...

...ya see what I mean, Dorothy?

Giants was a show I wasn't able to see in its initial run. In my area, it was NEVER repeated or aired in syndication, so it became almost mythic to me when I was a young man. I recall a manager of mine (at Red Lobster in the 1980s) telling me that it had been his favorite show, yet I had no way on earth of seeing it! Finally with the advent of widespread cable and, I think, the SciFi Channel, it was run again and I was able to take it in.

"This'll put some lead in your pencil..." Ha ha! By the time I finally got to watch Giants, I was already familiar with Conway from another project he'd worked on. How that came to me is a hoot in an of itself...!

Seen here is Conway in the 1975 hot mess Once Is Not Enough. His part in the movie is negligible and near pointless, but I wasn't just going to forget those legs... But how and why did I see Enough before ever getting the chance to watch Giants?

It's because I was the biggest Dynasty fan on the planet's surface. I lived and breathed everything about that show. So when its breakout star, Miss Joan Collins, came out with a home video collection in 1985, I naturally HAD to rent each of the movies featured in it. I knew nothing about these movies, but they each had a videotaped introduction from her prior to viewing and those I had to see. So it was off to Blockbuster to rent them, one after the other.

This is what La Collins had to say on the back of the box for Enough. The movie is actually quite rotten, but that doesn't mean I don't utterly adore it! I did a whole tribute to it right here.

This collection would ultimately be expanded with a few other titles like Alfie (1966), This Property is Condemned (1966) and Lifeguard (1976!) Now, some of you tykes might be thinking, "Why did people rent movies from a video store...??!" since such things scarcely exist anymore. To that point I say look at the price of these VHS cassettes. $59.95 each. Does that sound like a lot? How 'bout when adjusted for inflation to today's staggering equivalent -- $175.00!!!!

Anyhoo, that was my very first exposure to Conway and only made me that more interested in seeing Land of the Giants.

But first, amazingly enough, came reruns of his show prior to that... Burke's Law. (I'm not looking this up, but if memory serves, it was TNT which began showing it.)

Burke's Law was a sort of all-star variation on Perry Mason, but with a private eye instead of a defense attorney. Gene Barry played Amos Burke, with young Conway as his aide. It was a longstanding TV trope to have an older, established name costarring with a fresh, new face. Sometimes the actors got on famously as in the case of Raymond Massey and Richard Chamberlain on Dr. Kildare. Sometimes the teamings were a disaster, in the case of Riverboat with Darren McGavin and Burt Reynolds. With Hawaii 5-O, Jack Lord and James MacArthur were amiable, though there was never a question as to who called the shots. With Law, Conway found his lead actor Barry selfish and he was not displeased to be rid of the show after two years when it was re-tooled (and then flopped.)

Conway did flounder a bit for three TV seasons before Giants came along to provide steady work once more. He'd had some rough going prior to that, though.

His very first movie, I Was a Teenage Frankenstein (1957) had his face completely covered for much of its running time! At least the makers had the good sense to show us his torso.

It was a well-defined torso which he had already shown to good effect in a number of physique portraits prior to landing that initial movie gig.

Check out those diamond-cutters...! Ha ha!

His other 1957 movie can be read about in great detail here. Then it was back to the well for more Frankenstein-y antics with How to Make a Monster (1958.) The film concerned a studio makeup artist who loses his job and seeks revenge on the studio.

He uses mind control to get a young actor (Conway) who's playing the Teenage Frankenstein to fulfill his plan. So you had Conway playing an actor playing a role that he'd actually played himself the prior year! Unusual and confusing!

Gary Conway, who'd portrayed the Teenage Frankenstein, playing Tony Mantell, who's been cast as Teenage Frankenstein...! Whaat??

Fortunately, before long, he was able to show his face (and more) as a guest on shows like Surfside 6 and Hawaiian Eye.

The now Warner Brothers contractee popped up on many of their shows from Bourbon Street Beat to Colt .45 to Lawman to 77 Sunset Strip before landing the lead in Land of the Giants. In that capacity, he was subject to a wealth of now-campy publicity shots.

"Take two of these and call me in the morning..."

"Gary want a cracker?"

"Is this the party to whom I am speaking...?"

"Eggs are HOW MUCH a dozen...?!"

"I preferred the trapeze in my bedroom back home."

"Screw you..."

"Plug it in, plug it in..."

"Yes, is this my agent?" (By the way, there once was a blog called Dialing the Phone with a Pencil that I enjoyed a lot.)

"Hang in there bud, you'll be remembered forever for this show."

"Koochie-koo!"

As you might guess, serious and/or significant acting gigs proved hard to come by after the antics of Land of the Giants. He did land roles in a couple of TV movies and some guest roles such as on Ghost Story and, as depicted here, Columbo (the one in which Donald Pleasance was the guest killer.)

That same year (1973), he startled some fans by agreeing to pose for Playgirl magazine, though it was in its earliest days, when there was no frontal nudity called for.

This was about as risque as it got.

Two years after Once Is Not Enough, he produced and starred in the revenge flick The Farmer (1977), but it had little impact.

Apart from a 1981 shot on The Love Boat, it was a decade before his next appearance. He acted in American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987.) By this point, he'd turned his attention to wine-making with a successful venture in California.

His last stab at show business was when he wrote and directed a 2000 project called Woman's Story, which starred Erin Gray and Kent McCord. All about a marriage torn apart by adultery (and venereal disease!), it remains an elusive item to view.

His character, appropriately enough, works with figure models (female.) It was a realm he knew something about from his own days in the posing strap. Conway is still among us today at age 88.

The End - Part I

The End - Part II

The End - Part III