Tuesday, December 12, 2017

A Little Camping Trip

Want to get away from it all for a few minutes? Then let's go camping! No... not with tents and Coleman lanterns. We're gonna camp it up a little bit with some pictures that were mostly intended to be very arresting, but instead are found guilty of sending us into fits of chuckling. We've been down this road before here, here and here, if you find that this is your thing and you want more of the same! Our unusually-styled cover girl today is Marguerite Chapman, one of the performers who provided an anecdote in our recent post about movie turkeys.

Speaking of unusual styling, Miss Anne Francis has really gone to the birds in this promotional photo for the sci-fi classic Forbidden Planet.
A fun photo-op of two '60s teen stars who didn't ever really work together, Troy Donahue and Deborah Walley.
Ladies and gentlemen, Barbra Streisand in A Star is Born... er, I mean, Raquel Welch.
Here Ms. Welch is all washed up during a shoot that was presumably intended to be more serene than this!
Oh, me... speaking of washing up... This presumably real portrait of none other than our beloved Miss Olivia de Havilland enjoying a dip in the spa is quite an eye-opener. Sorry I neglected to warn you ahead of time.
Speaking of warnings, someone ought to have let this poor dear know that deranged Roddy McDowall was about to do some serious pruning in Shock Treatment!
During my recent post on suggestive pairs, there were a couple of pics that could have been added to the mix, but I had them filed away under camp and didn't catch them. No, this was not a 1930s version of the Will Ferrell comedy Blades of Glory. It's a shot of Jimmy Stewart and Lew Ayres (two legendary figure skaters - not!) in their costumes for Ice Follies of 1939!
There seems to be a fine line between love and hate in this shot of Tom Keene and Buster Crabbe in the 1936 western Drift Fence. (Keene later ended his movie career with a role in the infamously heinous Plan 9 From Outer Space.)
No butts about it in this promo photo for Crossfire. The hook here is that all three of the leading men were named Robert. Young, Mitchum and Ryan. Note the ass-ending ascending order of amusement at the pose from left to right!
One rarely hears of Stephen Boyd and Charlton Heston having loads of fun with one another on the set of the much-heralded epic Ben-Hur. Boyd and director William Wyler had a bit of a secret pact in which Boyd played his role as if he and Heston had once been lovers, but they kept this from the straight-laced Heston.
These pictures rather cloud the issue as to who was on top during the imaginary relationship, but maybe it was mutually rewarding?
It took everything I had not to caption this photo: "Humpy Lee Majors straddles a slim, hairy ass." Oops! Looks like I just did it anyway!
In another hairy situation, we have 1946's The White Gorilla, billed as "The Greatest Wild Animal Picture Ever Made" (even though you've probably never even heard of it!) Another chuckle comes with the blurb, "Ray Corrigan * Lorraine Miller and an All-Star Cast" although it's likely that you never heard of them or any of their costars either! (I will grant you that Ray Corrigan is substantially better known as "Crash" Corrigan, but really? An "All-Star Cast?") By the way, he plays the male lead AND the title character in this!
I'm sure that Gil Gerard, as Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, is merely acknowledging his little robot pal Twiki, but sicker minds may feel that he is about to force the poor devil into some "surprise oral!" Perhaps with a little tinkering/reprogramming?
One full decade before his career-resuscitating role in Airplane!, Lloyd Bridges played the manager of San Francisco International Airport, a short-lived 1970 series that took its cue from the smash-hit 1970 movie Airport.
In 1983, Dallas attempted to sex itself up on the male end with Christopher Atkins (of The Blue Lagoon.) Here, the twenty-two year-old is snuggled up with Linda Gray and Victoria Principal (with whom he had virtually no contact in the series.)
Cast as Gray's preteen son's swimming teacher, Atkins was soon teaching Gray (twenty-one years his senior) a few strokes, too!
While the cougar-ish story line scored one for equal rights (as men had long been shown canoodling with pert young ladies), there was something icky about the pairing, perhaps because Atkin's Lagoon lustre had already worn thin after The Pirate Movie and A Night in Heaven and his baby-ish face really did make him seem like Gray's son rather than passionate lover.
Really, almost any frame of film from The Village People's cinematic opus Can't Stop the Music might serve as camp, this one certainly does the trick, with Construction Worker David Hodo catching a heel from a female dancer...
What on earth is tackier or more campy than this hilarious promotional shot for the 1984 TV-movie City Killer? In it, Heather Locklear is stalked by an ex-boyfriend who demands that she get back together with him or else he will destroy buildings in their city while people are still inside! Gerald McRaney was a police psychologist assigned to help her (but compelled also to bed her!) The project blended a makeshift story with real footage of imploding, deserted buildings, something that isn't usually achieved by one man setting all the charges himself while the place it still open!
And now we take a brief turn right into the Susan Anton Wing. The statuesque pageant-honed songbird and actress was all primed for big screen success in 1979's Goldengirl until the U.S. pulled out of the 1980 Olympics, leaving the already science-fictiony story in the lurch since the movie depicted American athletes performing in said games.
Here, our girls twirls and whirls in a pleated chiffon gown during promotion for her short-lived variety show Presenting Susan Anton.
Less is left to the imagination by the time of this slinky shot.
And finally a terrible fall and hip dysplasia took their toll... okay, I'm only kidding about that. We still love her, even though in some circles she was more famous for dating a married Sylvester Stallone and the 8-1/2" shorter Dudley Moore!
More lame-o variety show promotion, courtesy of Leif Garrett, as we turn left and enter his wing of the exhibit. He looks rather out of it here.
The guy was white-hot for a time for reasons I never understood. Even now, I just can't quite see what all the fuss was about!
How utterly bored and miserable (not to mention vacant) does Brooke Shields look in this snap from the 1979 special Leif?
Did you know that Garrett and later resident of Knots Landing (and also of Desperate Housewives) Nicolette Sheridan were once live-ins? FYI - Sheridan was recently announced as the new Alexis Carrington on the Dynasty redux (a show I have yet to watch so much as a frame of...)
Things were looking a little rough by the time of this shot, though it's remarkable that Garrett didn't beat out Eric Stoltz for the co-starring role in Cher's 1985 movie Mask.
We close with a detour to the final room of our exhibit belonging to this gal. Recognize her?
It's TV's legendary funny lady Miss Lucille Ball, all Mod-ed up for her 1966 TV special Lucy in London.
I've never seen this, but it might be interesting to witness what sort of hip dance moves Ms. Ball was providing eight years prior to Mame, in which we hoped aloud that her hips COULD move...!
At the very least, she supplied us for some hooty shots with which to end this camping trip.
BONUS PIC:
Have y'all ever seen these? They're behind the scenes shots of Lucille Ball in the season two opener of The Lucy Show, "Lucy Plays Cleopatra." I thought they were pretty fascinating. Incidentally, it was the season three opening in which the stars of Cleopatra appeared on The Lucy Show in the episode "Lucy Meets The Burtons." Till next time!

13 comments:

VictorG said...

What a hoot! Just what we needed, thank you, Poseidon. I lurved Miss Raquel Welch bringing her best Barbra "A Star Is Born" mega-coiffure. And I recognized Miss Lucille Ball right from the first shot although I've never seen those photos before, what a treat! She had fabulous posture and bearing, the mark of a former model/showgirl. That's my kinda camping, all right!

hsc said...

That poster for "City Killer" immediately made me think of the one for "Thundercrack!" (which proves you can definitely get tackier and more campy):

http://366weirdmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/thundercrack-1975-001-george-kuchar-marion-eaton-00n-y4l-768x981.jpg

Back during his heyday, a friend dismissed Leif Garrett as being "cloned from one of Kristy McNichol's cheek cells".

And I have vague memories of that "Lucy in London" special, but given that I was a wee child when it was on, I'm sure I never noticed how unintentionally hilarious/creepy it probably was, based on those photos.

Another great post!

Poseidon3 said...

VictorG, I'm glad you liked this! Lucy was indeed an expert physical comedienne which I presume was aided greatly by the early-career occupations you mention. Her career arc is so fascinating, too. A dancer/model in early Eddie Cantor comedies to dramatic lead in features to America's zany sitcom queen and occasional movie lead, one welcome to present Oscars with Bob Hope.

HSC, glad you also liked this post. Hysterical that you drew comparison from Locklear-McRaney to the couple in your linked photo! Ha ha!! Love the McNichol quip, too. Thanks!

donald lam said...

Another wonderful posting, Poseidon. I'm so glad Olivia was able to enjoy a relaxing dip after being stuck in that"Cage" for an eternity. I had forgotten all about Sue Ellen dallying with the pool boy. Are you familiar with "A Night in Heaven", where he strips AND romances Miss Lesley Ann Warren? I must see "Lucy in London"--this may whet your appetite further:

https://dangerousminds.net/comments/lucy_in_london_when_lucille_ball_went_mod_brought_to_you_by_monsanto

Gingerguy said...

This was deelish Poseidon. Raquel was Miss Wig even back in the day it seems. For some reason the necklace and pose makes me think of my favorite montage in "Mahogany".
Almost fainted at almost naked Olivia.
Roddy in Shock treatment looks like he's going to behead Cloris Leachman.
Oh child! did Rock Hudson take that picture of Lee Majors? I think he was his movie star mentor. That is a strange one. The Heather Locklear poster is a scream, I might have to look for that one.
I have always wanted to see "GoldenGirl" totally remember the commercials for it, she was running robotically on a treadmill with the camera sped up. Yes there is a theme song sung by Miss Anton.
A recent novel called "Funny Girl" used the Lucy episode woven into it's fictional plot. I had never even heard of it. I think it was the opening episode of new season of one of her later shows. There is a lot of mod dancing and crazy theme song by Phil Spector. Twiggy is in there somewhere too. This was a great bucket of crazy.

Dave in Alamitos Beach said...

Lucy In London, eh? Well, let's get started!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yx1kFrx6AyQ

PS I recently watched Ice Follies of 1939 and it was quite the mess. Mostly a sort of Star Is Born tale with an uber-campy (and bad) ending in color that showed the ice skating "extravaganza." Hard to believe it came out in the year of something terrific like The Wizard Of Oz.

hagai aviel said...

the "shot of Jimmy Stewart and Lew Ayres in their costumes for Ice Follies of 1939" actually appear, in a muted version, in the film. minute 27

Poseidon3 said...

Gingerguy, we love "Mahogany" too! There's a tribute to it here. Such a fun movie to take in. LOL about Rock and Lee. Yes, there was a significant connection there! I also recall commercials for "Goldengirl" and I recall the movie disappearing like morning mist once the Olympic drama occurred (which used to be unusual, but now seems like it's every time! But then that's life today, too. Endless drama and scandal.) I love your term "bucket of crazy!")

Dave, one thing I recall about "Ice Follies," well, two actually, was that Joan Crawford had her hair like Hedy Lamarr for part of it (right??) and then in one scene she wears a "dazzling" Adrian creation that makes her look exactly like an art deco parking meter!!

Forever1267 said...

That Lee Majors shot is quite striking. He looked good as a blond!

In researching my family tree, I have discovered that Deborah Walley is my 3rd cousin. (We had the same great great grandfather.) Would love to see more from her!

Always look forward to your new entries! Thank you!

Dave in Alamitos Beach said...

Yes, once Joan became a "star" she got the Hedy makeover with the hair and makeup reminiscent of Hedy circa Ziegfeld Girl. In the beginning, Joan was shown with a lighter "hair" color and freckles on her face, apparently showing her going sans makeup. Yeah right.

The switch to color at the end was rather jarring, but no doubt done to show the "spectacular" skating event. Where's Sonja Henie when you need her? People could barely move on those skates.

Rick Gould said...

Hey Poseidon,
I know Lucy was a gold mine for CBS all those years, but I wonder if they what they thought when she started using her series and specials as an excuse to sing and dance? Remember when Lucy's attempts at singing and dancing were the source of laughter on I Love Lucy? By the mid-60s, Ball used any excuse (usually with a musical guest star) to turn her show into a mini-MGM musical!
As kids, we'd watch these reruns and groan, "Oh, this is one of the ones Lucy's gonna sing and dance in!"

Watching Lucy pass herself off as a London "bird" well, I won't be unkind and name a couple species! But I'm sure the skin tapes employed were the duct tape variety!

I watched the intro recently, and aside from laughing about the Phil Spector credit, I cracked up when I saw the sponsor was Monsanto!

Cheers, Rick

Poseidon3 said...

Forever1267, that's neat about Deborah Walley. It's always fun to find out that someone who was in movies and TV is in fact a relation! A few years ago, I worked alongside a girl who was related, somewhat distantly, but not ridiculously so, to Red Skelton. She had that same last name and I could even detect a bit of resemblance (not that looking like Red Skelton is some amazing compliment for a girl! LOL)

Dave, I looked everywhere for it and couldn't find it, but there was - at the time - a quip or a rhyme about Joan "stealing" Hedy's hair for "Ice Follies!" Such a strange movie in many ways....

RICK! I forgot that I, too, cracked up when Monsanto came on screen! All that was missing was, "Monsanto... providing the colored nylon used in Miss Ball's wigs this evening." ! TCM has been running a trailer for "Yours, Mine and Ours" lately and in it she gets drunk and begins laughing loudly and I swear, even though I - like most of the world - really do love Lucy, it is EXCRUCIATING to listen to and I cannot imagine how anyone found it funny or entertaining in any way. So brash.

Rick Gould said...

Poseidon, I grew up loving Lucy and still do. And thought "Yours, Mine, and Ours" was a gas when I was a kid.

Though I know both Lucy and Hank were supposed to be widowed, they both seem long in the tooth for their roles. And I guess Lucy's cigarette voice really grates on today's ears!

I saw part of it over Thanksgiving on TCM and it was fun for a few minutes, but it's pretty dated. I remember thinking even then how cute Tim Matheson was!

Cheers, Rick