Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Halloween Treats: Sacks Bulging with (Eye) Candy!

It's Halloween, which means tricking and treating all over the neighborhood. In The Underworld, one of our favorite treats is a snug pair of pants, so here we go! Bulge posts are among THE most popular here, thanks to all the pervs in the world (of which I guess I must count myself as one since I'm the one working on them again and again! Ha!) Some of these are of a more revealing nature than others, but as usual with these posts, I try to cover a wide range of participants. (Our cover boy here is a young Tom Berenger.) It's all about discovering the hidden rather than just viewing a penis, which can be done any time one wishes at the mere click or two of a mouse.

Let's step into the past (where I tend to exist anyway!) a bit for the first few photos. First we take a peek at the handsome movie star Joel McCrea in an early role.  The film was 1932's The Sport Parade and at one point he takes on wrestling.  I like the way the referee almost appears to be petting him in that first shot!  Ha!
Speaking of sports, can you even imagine for a moment heading to the tennis courts and coming upon the jaw-droppingly divine star of silent (and later sound) films George O'Brien as your partner, with him clad in only these clingy, skimpy shorts?  I can tell you that the tennis balls would not be foremost in my mind...
Next up is a pair of shots from the 1951 movie Tomorrow is Another Day, starring Steve Cochran. Cochran was a legendary ladies' man and apart from his handsome face, manly physique and bad-boy attitude, there was another thing that made the gals sit up and take notice.
If you're still trying to figure out what it was, I give you exhibit B!
In this still from the movie The Naked Dawn (1955), one of the actors (Eugene Iglesias?) finds himself up against a deadly reptile while down inside a pit. Perhaps one snake merely has its eye on another??
Here we have teen heartthrob Sal Mineo relaxing in his dressing room between takes of a film.
Mr. Elvis Presley got one of his rare, reasonably decent movie roles in the boxing-oriented Kid Gallahad (1962), a musicalized remake of a popular 1937 film. In this shot, we even get a little peek at Elvis Jr, something that tended to be covered up and/or compressed most of the time.
Often-threatening screen hunk William Smith (best known, perhaps, as the villainous Falconetti in the landmark 1976 miniseries Rich Man, Poor Man and its sequel) has enjoyed a remarkable seventy-year career in movies. Yes, you read that right! For a time, during some lean years, he worked as a physique model, showing off a body that has served him well in his many action-oriented parts.
On the western series Laredo (1965-1967), he and costar Peter Brown (the subject of his own very popular Underworld tribute) often showed off some prominent bulges.
Here, it's Brown's turn...
...while here Smith shows off the tight, tan pants he wore during most of the show's run.
Years after, he was still able to strut his stuff, looking even better than he had as a youth!
Speaking of westerns, cute Keir Dullea (of 1968's 2001: A Space Odyssey fame) took part in that genre very infrequently. Here he is all decked out in chaps that cut him in a rather flattering way.
Another actor who worked in the occasional western was musical theatre star Harve Presnell. Here, he shows off some rather taut buckskin trousers in 1965's The Glory Guys.
Here's a color photo from the same movie. I don't any evidence for you, but I also happen to remember him making an impression in this arena during The Unsinkable Molly Brown the year before this.
I'm not quite through with Harve yet.  Here's yet another shot from the movie.
Faye Dunaway's film debut, The Happening (1967) had her waking up with Michael Parks in a forest filled to the brim with hazy, barely-clothed teens in various states of activity from the weird to the sexual to the post-coital.  Here, they pass a young man doing a handstand, his crotch to the camera, while other lie about behind him dozing.
Loving water as I do and loving Paul Newman as I do, I have a fondness for the not-very-successful (not to mention belated!) sequel to 1966's Harper, The Drowning Pool (1975.) In it, Newman and Gail Strickland are placed by some bad guys in a huge, brick room. In an attempt to escape, Newman floods the room (using their clothes to clog the drain) so that they can swim to the top and escape via the roof. But is the window up there locked? Fifty year-old Paul was still lookin' great here!
What's Halloween without as little werewolf action? Here, we have Christopher Stone in The Howling (1981) showing us a hint of what turned costar Dee Wallace into Dee Wallace Stone.
Anyone recall the 1985 wrestling drama Vision Quest? The star was Matthew Modine, but this is a shot of his classmate and fellow wrestler Michael Schoeffling being taken to the mat. Schoeffling is better known for his part in Sixteen Candles the year before.
1986's Stewardess School concerned a bunch of nerdy, Police Academy-like students at the title institute, but while jogging with costar Mary Cadorette, Brett Cullen doesn't seem so nerdy as he does sort of sexy.  Then he puts his crazy-thick glasses back on...
You almost can't discuss bulges without bringing up Bonanza's Little Joe, Michael Landon. Here, we see Landon having swaggered into a saloon wearing his customarily-revealing taupe pants.
Robert Fuller, star of Laramie (1959-1963) and later Emergency!, managed to squeeze plenty of cowboy into his dungarees.
Fuller is strangely unsung these days, but does have loyal fans, some of who frequent this site!
I love Van Williams (shown here from Surfside 6, 1960-1962) and I also love the kicky, snug, amusingly sexy beach get-up he's wearing.
From 1961-1963, the skydiving series Ripcord put Ken Curtis (later to become a household name as Festus on Gunsmoke) and Larry Pennell into flight suits. In these two shots, Pennell (who would later have a recurring role as Dash Riprock on The Beverly Hillbillies) looks to be packing more than just his parachute.
I recently checked out some of the 1968-1975 police procedural drama Adam-12, expecting (and getting) a fairly dry program, but there was one episode that shocked me mightily. During an instructional session with some local children, Martin Milner does a high jump in some skimpy shorts...
...and proceeds to land with his legs spread...
...his bulging jockstrap exposed for all to see! Why as a kid did I only get McGruff the Dog, "taking a bite out of crime?"
A popular TV crime show that ran from 1972-1977 was The Streets of San Francisco, starring Karl Malden and Michael Douglas (and in its final season, Richard Hatch, in for the departed Douglas.) Here, we see Douglas, after having jumped into the bay, revealing what lurks under his dress slacks.
Guest-stars often got into the action as well. David Wayne showed some senior citizen bulge in an episode. Yes, at close to sixty he's on the old side, but I try not to discriminate!  
This actor of slight frame played an activist on one episode. There seemed to be something very active going on in his pants!
Most startling of all was this scene between Peter Strauss and a stuntman playing a fellow prison inmate of Strauss' who he wrestles with for fun on his last day in the clink. 
The stuntman's boxer shorts are front and center in the scene in a big way.
God, I love 1970s television...
When I was looking into campy pictures not too long ago, I came upon this shot from 1969's The Gay Deceivers, which affords a nice shot of handsome Laurence Casey's tight pants. Prior to this, Casey had set hearts racing for two years in the decidedly-opposite, rugged, TV war show The Rat Patrol.
If you've come here before, you know of my addiction to any disaster movie made between 1970 and 1980. Here we see pilot Dean Martin in Airport (1970) showing off his post-Rat-Pack-era bulge during the jetliner's emergency.
One of the bulgiest movies I've probably ever seen in Robert Altman's 1973 detective flick The Long Goodbye, starring Elliott Gould. Early in the film, he is questioned by two policemen, one of who has VPL through his slacks.
Here's a closer look.
Later, there's a scene in which mobster Mark Rydell makes all of his henchmen drop their pants (one of them is played by newcomer Arnold Schwarzenegger.)
As a bodybuilder, dropping his pants was nothing new then and would continue until long after his athletic career had ended! Ha! The thin briefs he wears here show even the outline of his piss slit!
Also appearing in the movie is controversial sports figure Jim Bouton, who wrote a scandalous tell-all book about major league baseball called "Ball Four." It was alternately praised and loathed, depending on one's point of view. 
He shows some significant packaging in his white trousers.
In the low-budget historical romance Lovespell (1981), which starred Richard Burton, Kate Mulgrew and Nicholas Clay, King Burton brings Mulgrew to his castle to wed, though she loves his best friend Clay. Based on the story of Tristan and Isolde, it's similar to the story of Camelot in many ways. Upon her arrival, a banquet complete with tumblers is put into motion. Nothing says, "Welcome to my home" like a tumbler upending himself and putting his panty-hose-clad crotch in your face. You can see the various expressions of revulsion and interest below.
Thinking about tights, those of us of a certain age were raised on Saturday morning TV shows that contained live-action heroes along with the cartoons. One of the most memorable was Shazam! (1974-1976), which featured Captain Marvel. The first Captain Marvel was played by Jackson Bostwick, shown here.
An accident near the start of the second season caused Bostwick to depart (and ill feelings regarding it led to his firing and a suit from him against the producers, which he won.) The second Captain Marvel was played by John Davey. Aside from dressing in the same costume, they also “dressed” alike... to the right! Now this was when Saturday morning TV could keep my attention!
As far as prime-time goes, there was the short-lived 1977 show Man from Atlantis, which starred a pre-Dallas Patrick Duffy as the title hero.
Had he worn these snug trunks more often than the looser ones and stayed wet instead of mostly dry, the show might have lasted longer! He did land the primo role of Bobby Ewing, though, a short time later and recently began playing it again this year, a scant twenty-four years later in the Dallas redux on TNT!
On the subject of Dallas, Duffy's hunky makeshift replacement during the season he left the show, Dack Rambo, often demonstrated a bulge was of science fiction level.
The New Adventures of Wonder Woman (1977-1979) occasionally featured an actor showing some serious bulge.  In this shot, a kidnapped weight lifter seems to be giving high marks to fellow captive, gymnast Liberty Williams.
This background extra in another episode illustrate why I miss the old type of blue jeans so much over the loose ones that are sported today.
One of prime-time's many private investigators was Dan Tanna of Vega$, played by Robert Urich. Starring in the part from 1978-1982, Urich often wore some seriously tight (and revealing) jeans.
Whenever I tried to sit through an episode of Magnum, P.I. (1980-1988), I had trouble spotting the bulges that others have spoken of through the years. Maybe I just happened on the wrong ones because I was never a big follower of the show. Here, though, I can see what some of Tom Selleck's fans were referring to.
Knight Rider (1982-1986) made David Hasselhoff a household name and he parlayed that into various gigs like being a commercial spokesperson. This is a publicity shot from (I think, but can't be sure!) a Crystal Light campaign. Gotta love the abbreviated 1980s workout shorts...
By the time (1990) of this photo from Hunter, star Fred Dryer had said so long to his longtime sidekick Stepfanie Kramer and was working alongside Darlanne Fluegel, but his infamous member was still making the occasional guest appearance through either faded jeans or flimsy dress pants.
A show frequently generous in the bulge department was Starsky & Hutch (1975-1979) as has been demonstrated here time and again. Here are a couple of publicity shots that keep the tradition going, both of which center on Paul Michael Glaser this time (Starsky.)
They simply don't make jeans like this any more (and if they do, few men are wearing them.)
Speaking of jeans, here is yet another photo of the bulging country bumpkins, Bo and Luke Duke, of The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985.) Tom Wopat (Luke) is on the left, while John Schneider (Bo) is on the right. Note that this eye-popping photo was published in 16 Magazine!
Now that we're on teen magazines, some of you might recall my tribute to the crazy, campy covers of teen mags a while back. While foraging through those, I came up with a startling number of pinups from said periodicals that are eye-catching for reasons which ought to become clear. For example, are you ready for this snap of Joe Elliott, lead singer of Def Leppard?
How about a far-out, groovy, swingin' Rick Springfield?
Barry Gibb of The Bee Gees seemed to have a fairly busy crotch going, as evidenced by the scuff marks. LOL
Brother Maurice, shown in the middle here, back when he had a full head of hair, was no slouch either. This was before the group had whittled itself down to a trio (though there was always a band as well even then.) I must say the dude at the far left is very hunky and exactly my type!
16 magazine strikes again with this member of the briefly-hot Bay City Rollers. What's hysterical about this is the proximity of the crotch shot right next to a seemingly horrified little girl from The New Mickey Mouse Club!
One of the absolute staples of the teen mags during his brief time in the sun was “singing” sensation and young actor Leif Garrett. Having no appreciation at all for skinny guys or ones with long hair, his appeal always escaped me, but he was VERY popular in his day.
With each successive photograph, though, you can begin to see why some folks ate him up...


Really???
Another white-hot teen star of the day was Scott Baio. Again, not one of my favorites, but I present him to you in all his glory because I know he has a lot of fans.
These first three pictures all feature what must have been a favorite shirt of his. (I'm just being "funny." I know these are all from one photo shoot.)
It's a pity he never appeared in Equus. Ha!
This last one (from 16 again!) demonstrates why parachute pants did enjoy a hey-day for a while. Scott's are (thankfully?) about a size or two too small!
Thanks to the heightened awareness of such things in recent years, you typically don't see these type of bulges in contemporary film and TV projects. Unlike days gone by, there's even some degree of effort put into obscuring such “profiles” on screen. Still, though, an occasional candid photo will hit the web and go nuts (so to speak.) Take this recent shot of Mad Men actor John Hamm on a shopping expedition while wearing some flimsy pants (and nothing else!) Lord have mercy!
I will leave you with one of my favorite more recent bulges. (Well, more recent than most of those presented here.) This movie made no attempt whatsoever to be demure and that's what makes it such a hilarious, craptacular camp-fest. In Color of Night (1994), Bruce Willis visits his old college buddy Scott Bakula and after riding bikes in the California desert, Bakula has some dust spread upon his skintight bike pants. The sight of them is almost, but not quite, enough to make one forget everything else that comes afterward in the movie. It would have been an even better flick if it had ditched its crazed-killer storyline and focused on the underlying homoeroticism of these two men!

16 comments:

Scooter said...

Fun post as always. You've piqued my interest...what the story with The Gay Deceivers?

joel65913 said...

A delightful treat for the holiday! Thanks for the pictures of Joel McCrea, when he was young he was one of the dreamiest of all Hollywood actors and the studio loved to find ways for him to disrobe.

One little correction, the original Kid Galahad did have Humphrey Bogart in the cast as well as Bette Davis and Edward G. Robinson but the title character was played by Wayne Morris. Bogie played a mobster with the unfortunate name of Turkey Morgan.

I am one of those fans of Robert Fuller and am puzzled by his obscurity since the Virginian was one of the better westerns from when they ruled TV and Fuller with his deep voice and dark good looks one of the better actors. It was an hour & a half show so it doesn't get rerun as frequently so that may factor into it.

Even with their chronically tight shirts, pants and good looks I could never abide The Dukes of Hazzard but both the men especially John Schneider have aged very well.

I never understood the Leif Garrett craze either he always reminded me of a beanpole Kristy McNichol clone and now he's an utter mess, very sad. When he was all over the teen mags I never got the Scott Baio thing either although later when he had matured he was hunky on Charles in Charge but seems to have turned, or maybe always was, a repugnant tool. A major turnoff.

Finally your right Color of Night was a piece of garbage but both Bruce and Scott looked very good at the time so if they had pursued that storyline it would have helped the film immeasurably.

Poseidon3 said...

Scooter, great to see you again. The Gay Deceivers was a 1969 comedy about two draft dodgers who decided to evade going to Vietnam by claiming to be gay. When the recruiting officer doesn't buy their story, they have to pose as a gay couple. Complications ensue. The movie has a varied reputation depending on one's outlook and sense of P.C. (I have yet to see it myself, but feel like I would love the art direction and clothes no matter what!)

Joel, I fixed that about Kid Gallahad. I was in a mad, mad dash to get this up prior to Halloween (and October) ending and should have been more thorough on that. I would like to see the 1937 one because Chester Morris was pretty handsome in his youth! PS-Was Robert Fuller on The Virginian??

joel65913 said...

OOPS! That's my bad, it was James Drury not Robert Fuller who was The Virginian. They are a similiar type so I guess that's where my confusion came from but I'm a fan of both very handsome men.

NotFelixUnger said...

I'm still phone-banking for votes and no time to cruise the web! [November 6 is just 4 days away!]

Still, I waded back into the depths of Poseidon and found this incredible post. I wanted to add...

Tom Wopatt's crotch has been a subject I've wished to concentrate on and/or delve into for quite some time. Nice to see I'm not the only one to have been transfixed by its mysteries.

BTW, that first photo was the cover on a gun magazine back when I was about 11 or 12. That was my version of PlayGirl back then!

Ken Anderson said...

I can see why these "bulge" posts are so popular...you work hard so we don't have to! How you amass so many pics is rather astounding and always comically informative. I think You should apply for a research grant or something. The work you do is always greatly appreciated by vintage "package" fellows like me. Thanks, Poseidon!

Poseidon3 said...

Yes, Ken, I'm the "scrubbing bubbles" of the TV & movie nether regions. LOL

ohsohappy said...

Robert Fuller...what a cowboy! ~~sigh~~

Voyer Voyerista said...

Can you tell me what episod of Adam-12 is that and where can I watch / download it? The one with "instructional session with local children". I want to see the whole moviment of it... :3 Thanks! Great site.

Poseidon3 said...

Voyer, Season 2, Episode 1 - Link to the imdb.com page for it below where it can also be watched for free! ;-)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0505312/

Voyer Voyerista said...

Thank you very much but I can not watch it! "This video is not available in your country". I tried other sites all with the same message. Even with hiden proxy I did not managed to pass... I'll figure something out tomorrou ;)

Dale Bryant said...

Try researching some photos of John Erickson, he shows some pretty good dangle in movies in which he is permitted to wear light colored trousers... Also, check out Robert Preston in 'Mame", when he is wearing those riding britches and knee boots at the end of the fox hunt scene.

Dale Bryant said...

Concerning my last post - leave it to me to get it wrong! I meant check out John Ireland in movies in which he wears light colored trousers and Forrest Tucker in "Auntie Mame". Sorry for the mislead.....

Barolojoe said...

Some say Milton Berle was the biggest, others think of Forrest Tucker, Rory Calhoun, Dana Andrews, Victor Mature, Gary Cooper, Bogart, Chaplin, or Sinatra.

But I still think that John Ireland had the biggest, longest & thickest willy of all Hollywood stars from past and present - most likely the only one over twelve real inches.

From no other actor you find so many impressive bulge shots in several of his old movies...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-pfdIrgEaI



In the link below you can click on the image there and enlarge the picture:


http://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/john-ireland-lawrence-tierney-bushwhackers-1951-gay


´

Poseidon3 said...

Baroljoe, I think I have to agree with you! I have occasionally caught a glimpse of John Jr in movies ("55 Days at Peking" comes to mind) and from that photo at Worthpoint, you are on the right track if not dead correct! Thanks for sharing. ;-)

XL4XL said...

2 huge bulge shots would be from Wayne Rogers(MASH) when he was on the short lived FBI" tv show(boxers...bad idea with that anaconda) and the actor Frank Bruynbroek who played "Debray" in the movie "Money Talks."