PRE-United: And then there's Stan...!

Among our very favorite TV sitcoms is the 1980s wonder The Golden Girls. (I'm hardly alone. The show has been in constant rotation on several channels for decades now, though I prefer watching the DVDs over the heavily-edited renditions that are currently shown. Sometimes entire scenes are cut out!) Bea Arthur as Dorothy Zbornak had a hate-love relationship with her ex-husband Stan through the course of the series, with comedy veteran Herb Edelman making two-dozen appearances along the way. The couple, having split after "38 years of marriage," went through varying degrees of antagonism, affection, alienation and even a near trip back down the altar once more! The chemistry between Arthur and Edelman was palpable and Edelman's 6'5" stature went a long way in making them a visually compatible couple as well. (Likewise, this lent comic leverage when he was put in his place by the diminutive Estelle Getty as Dorothy's mother Sophia.)

Arthur was a Broadway vet who parlayed a thunderous guest appearance on All in the Family into a series all her own. Called Maude, she was a force of nature, espousing socio- political viewpoints at the polar opposite of Carroll O'Connor's Archie Bunker. And while Maude wasn't the runaway success that All in the Family was, it was a considerable hit and ran for six seasons. 

During the third season of Maude, Arthur was promoted to office manager at her real estate company. This was at a time (1974) of the women's movement for equality in the workplace, when it was common- place for females to be overlooked for promotions, not to mention comparable wages, raises, etc... Having accomplished the impossible in winning the spot, Arthur is distraught at the prospect of overseeing her male coworkers. Faint reassurance comes from her family as well as from best friend Vivian (who was played by Arthur's future Golden Girls costar Rue McClanahan.) 

Congratulations are in order, along with a new briefcase!

Arthur's employees, Tony, Woody and Bud, are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the newly-crowned boss lady.

If the rear view of that balding pate seemed familiar, it should...

...It belongs to Mr. Herb Edelman, playing the sexist, uncooperative Woody. (By the way, check those candles...! Disney thought they had trouble with the artwork for the VHS of The Little Mermaid, 1989?? Ouch! Ha ha ha!!)

As one might expect, Arthur meets with a fair amount of resistance upon her arrival. The other guys are a little awkward, yet respectful.

Naturally, Edelman is a royal jerk to her.

Not exactly a shrinking violet, Arthur attempts to get through to Edelman, "man to man."

With one foot propped on a chair, she takes on the office bully.

Unfortunately, when he tells her to move her boobs out of the way so that he can get back to his desk, it kicks off a mini-meltdown which sends her careening out the door and back home.

Following a pep talk and some much-needed affection from her husband Walter (Bill Macy), she heads back to the office with cigars as a peace offering and an apparent handle on the situation.

Now firmly in charge of Edelman and the office, she's not going to let him get away with his shenanigans any longer.

In what would later be a motif on The Golden Girls, tough guy Edelman breaks down in tears. (One can almost here him wailing, "Dorothy...!" in this shot.

Having finally come to an understanding, things are about to work out fine when suddenly Arthur finds out that, despite her promotion, she's still being grossly underpaid simply because she is female. With that, she heads out the door for an extended lunch hour and into the arms of her husband, who's waiting at home in their master bedroom! Remarkably, in this one, sole, instance of working with one another as actors, Edelman and Arthur had already achieved the dynamics which would later lead to a far more involved pairing on The Golden Girls. Edelman scored big as the "schmuck" Stanley Zbornak and gave Arthur plenty to work with as the alternately wounded and acerbic Dorothy.

You can read a bit more about Miss Bea Arthur here. After Maude ended in 1978, she took some time away from the grueling work of a regular series until attempting Amanda's in 1983. That was finished after just 13 episodes, but in 1985 she accepted the role of Dorothy, which was to be her greatest television success, ending only when she decided to opt out in 1992 (with a two-part appearance on the ill-fated spin off The Golden Palace the season after that marking her final turn in the role.)

As for Edelman, he too had done some work on Broadway and then proceeded to multiple guest roles on television. He also popped up in movies such as Barefoot in the Park (1967), repeating his stage role as the telephone man, The Odd Couple (1968) and The Way We Were (1973) with a moderately successful sitcom, The Good Guys, along the way. It may surprise you to know that he had a 6-year marriage to prolific actress Louise Sorel from 1964-1970. Always busy, his role as Stan arguably stood out as his most notable amid many other parts. He essayed the role one final time on a 1993 episode of The Golden Palace. In 1996, he was taken from us far too early at only age 62 from emphysema, though his work can be seen continuously through reruns of the many shows and movies he worked on.   

Stanley Zbornak has his own place in the pop culture firmament along with the ever popular Golden Girls foursome.

11th Anniversary "Celeb"ration! 5 & 6

Somehow or another I've already messed up the chronological trajectory of these various celebrity encounters. You see, it's not like I have a chart or anything about them. I have to refer to old e-mails, photos and things in order to try to piece them together. So this one actually took place prior to the Richard Simmons extravaganza...! Picture it, July 11th, 2001. Close to a decade after The Golden Girls, Miss Bea Arthur has been trying out various permutations of a one-woman show. First called "An Evening with Bea Arthur," it soon morphs into "And Then There's Bea," a play on the theme song from her hit 1970s sitcom Maude. Having begun to tour in April, the show has now made its way to Cincinnati, Ohio where an eager audience awaits. 

Iconic as Maude.

I, along with two close friends who also adored her, made certain I obtained great tickets for opening night. As it was, we weren't 30 feet away from her as she alighted onto our local stage for a night of stories and songs. The place was packed as she performed a variety of favorite songs and relayed little stories with composer Billy Goldenberg at the piano. She also had a boot on one foot because at a prior stop on the tour, Minneapolis if it matters, she'd walked into the orchestra pit! 

Unforgettable as Dorothy Zbornak.

Afterwards, my friend Lisa, who was highly familiar with the venue, helped determine which door she would be most likely to exit from (and it wasn't the one with a big blue awning that said "Stage Door!" It was way in the back near a rat-ridden alley. Sure enough, that's where she came out, probably a bit startled to find three diehard fans waiting for her in the dingy dark. Not even taking time to be shy, I strode right up to her and began blathering on and on about how big a fan I'd always been and how her work had changed my life and so on...!

In "You're Gonna Love Tomorrow."

As it happened, I was actually appearing in a Sondheim musical revue at the smallest of the three theater spaces in that venue as was Lisa and my third friend Joe was the director of it. This date was our only chance to see Ms. Arthur. To our utter astonishment, she had read a review of our show in the local paper and expressed how she had wanted to come, but her own show overlapped our completely. (Can you imagine?! I'd have died.) 

She couldn't have been kinder, gentler, more humble or more pleasant to chat with. Lisa somehow got up the gumption to ask her to join us for dinner at a nearby establishment with a heavy gay clientele who would have probably swamped her. She said, "Do they know I'm here?" I said, "Of course! We've all seen your commercial!" (Said commercial had her lying on a piano and as the camera panned up from her legs, she said, "Who were you expecting? Michelle Pfeiffer?") She declined, citing the need to elevate her foot from the Minneapolis mishap as well as tend to a cold she'd picked up. Before we left, I began to ask her about songs she hadn't sung, including "Hard Hearted Hannah" and, inexplicably, "The Man in the Moon" from her legendary performance in "Mame." She agreed to put that one in the show asap! She eventually took the show to Broadway where is was known as "Bea Arthur on Broadway: Just Between Friends" and was nominated for a Tony in the Special Event category. (She was bested by "Elaine Stritch at Liberty." This was the year that she accepted the award instead of the producers and was cut off by the orchestra, creating a bit of a tempest in a teapot!)

She kept indicating poor Billy Goldenberg who, at the time, I didn't know from a hole in the wall! I might have expected my cohorts to, but they didn't either. He wound up serving as our photographer for the night!! Our picture was a little ghastly because I wasn't expecting her to lean in for a very snug hug (not that I didn't welcome it!) Not too long afterwards, I found myself singing five of Mr. Goldenberg's songs in the show "Ballroom" and dearly wished that I'd have demonstrated a little more appreciation towards him. But he had to know that most people there were on-hand to see Bea.

In shimmering blue sport coat singing the songs of Billy Goldenberg for "Ballroom." (Not, however, the most famous tune from the show, "Fifty Percent!")

As the new millennium dawned, I was beginning to finally trip across one celebrity or another about once a year, it seemed. Out here in what I sometimes affectionately refer to as the armpit of America, you sometimes have to really dig to find a star around... Yes, in the early-1990s I'd once caught a glimpse of the back half of Billy Ray Cyrus' mullet during a CD signing at a grocery superstore (truth!) and my best friend and I had later been caught polka-ing at the annual and notably famous Oktoberfest Zinzinnati by that year's honorary leader of the chicken dance, Cheers' George Wendt (who put my bestie Deana on his lap and exclaimed that he'd never in his life seen two people have more fun on a dance floor than us!) But generally stars were few and far between in these here parts. And the breadth of quality among them was quite fitting for the city which happened to give the world both Roy Rogers and Charles Manson!

We happen to have a very well-respected zoo here and each December the place is heavily festooned with countless colorful bulbs (originally the wondrously glowing variety, but in more recent times the cooler, dimmer, but more cost-efficient and colorful, LED ones.) Dubbed the Festival of Lights, the zoo and botanical gardens become a winter wonderland, attracting hordes of visitors who want to see Santa or the reindeer or the penguins, among other things. (Hometown names like Drew and Nick Lachey have helped light the tree on various occasions and also help draw a crowd.)

I worked at this event for many years, first as a costumed character like Rudolph or Frosty or an enigmatic penguin, then later (when I felt too old or too fat to stuff myself into a fuzzy costume!) as a handler. Handlers accompany the costumed figures out into the ducky melee and help ward off ankle-biters, shin-kickers or naughty teens who want to shove or throw a punch! Ha ha! In fact, this is me as the penguin on local TV, hamming it up and trying to grab focus from the on-air talent. The joke was on me, though. In my haste to get dressed and run up the hill to be certain of winning a spot on Channel 64, I accidentally donned the penguin head with the panda bear body! (And was duly chastised by the event organizer afterwards.) Thereafter, I referred to this creation as a "Dr. Moreau." So often, oddly enough, the moms took the pictures while the dads snuggled in with the kid/kids.  This afforded me countless opportunities to throw my arms around a big, sweet, handsome father, who, otherwise might have crossed the street to avoid me!  They were always very "hands on" with the stuffed characters as they somehow must have a non-threatening, asexual quality which allows these yummy husbands and fathers to "cheat" right in front of their wives! (Naturally, if the dad was repellent or unattractive, I'd just stand there and wave......no hugging!) 

Once, while parading around as Frosty and doing the usual goofy dances and waves and snuggling with the (surprisingly) adorable kids who were touring the zoo, a father and daughter came up to me and, though the little girl was precious with long curly hair and a little pink coat and seemed interested in me, she was sort of wary.  I reached out gently to her, but it became clear that she just wasn't going to be able to deal with me alone.  So her dad (who fell into the "cute" category) decided to pick her up and bring her over to me.  He seemed rather familiar to me, but I couldn't place him.  He was in a long black coat and had one of those black head and ear wraps on so that it was difficult to see anything except his face.  One thing that stood out was his pair of very bright grey eyes.  I just figured I had seen him someplace before, but just didn't know where.  He got in next to me and (of course) I draped my arm on his shoulder and cozied up to him for the picture.  The shot didn't work right so we repeated this (with me even closer this time and going for a full embrace!)  Then my escort was talking to a lady with red earmuffs and long brown hair.  She said to the lady, "I'm such a fan!"  

As the couple reunited and began to walk away, the husband turned back and looked at me (as Frosty) with the most odd expression.  He stared at me as if he could see right through the mammoth head and gave me a big smile.  It was at that precise moment that the escort grabbed my arm and nearly pulled it out of its socket.  "Do you know who that was?", she yelped.  "Vince Gill and Amy Grant!"  Of course!  That's who it was!  They are in town for a Christmas show.  I have to say......I have never, even for a second, thought that Vince was attractive.  I don't know why.  He was just sort of there... (And to this day I couldn't name a single song of his.) But in person, he was very charming and handsome and exceedingly normal and without ANY celebrity affectations or pretentions.  He was genuine and friendly and totally average in his behavior, which was a good thing.  I briefly enjoyed Amy's crossover period from Christian to Pop, but as a fellow vocalist, I was always critical of her almost total lack of enunciation. ("Vavvy, vavvy.." Ha ha!)

That's the actual costume I was wearing, though this is not a picture of me in it. I gave Mr. Gill two thumbs up for his gentle, gracious demeanor and willingness to wait like anyone else for a photo op with Frosty. (Not to mention his refusal to be offended by my pawing! LOL)

I just couldn't believe it.  Somewhere in Tennessee, Amy Grant has a family photo album (embla- zoned in gold - "My Grown Up Christmas List Book") that will house a photo with her daughter and Vince and ME in it!!!!!   You just don't expect to have VINCE GILL wander up to you at the Cincinnati Zoo and ask if he can have his picture taken with you! I kept yammering about that back in the dressing area....about how Vince Gill asked if HE could have his picture taken with ME. They said, "Yeah... but what would have happened if you hadn't had your Frosty head on" to which I replied, "Then he would have wanted my autograph as well!"

Top Ten Anniversary: Female TV Leads

Top Ten Leading Female TV Characters

Continuing our celebration of one decade of Poseidon's Underworld, we now turn to our all-time favorite leading female characters on television. Again, there aren't likely to be many surprises since these ladies have most all been featured here one way or another over the course of this blog's history, but we're using the occasion of our ten year anniversary to create some Halls of Fame, if you will. Interestingly, my tastes seem to run to the polar opposites, very good gals or very bad! The ladies are listed alphabetically according to their characters' first names.

ABBY EWING of Knots Landing -- Donna Mills was brought in after the show had already been airing for one season in order to shake up the famous cul-de-sac. One can safely say she did so! That Mills was known for playing put-upon victims and soft romantic heroines helped make the whole thing that much more dynamic. Abby arrived as a middle class single mother that the other women felt they could trust, but she was soon unveiled as a man-eating, money-hungry vixen who let almost nothing prevent her from reaching her high-flung goals. Yet, there was also a vulnerable motherly side that kept the character balanced. Mills, and her stunning eyes, made an indelible impression.

ALEXIS CARRINGTON COLBY of Dynasty -- Much like Ms. Mills above, Joan Collins was brought onto Dynasty after its brief initial season in order to add conflict to the show. From the very start, Collins strove to have input into the character's presentation from the style of clothing she wore to the insertion of sarcastic humor amid all the turmoil. The result was an international sensation. In the process, real life businessmen wondered whether they ought to have discarded their first wives so cavalierly lest they return to the fray, scorned and ready to wield their own power. Collins also, along with costar Linda Evans, made cat-fights into a much-adored spectator sport among prime-time soap opera buffs. For my own part, Collins work on the show crystallized an already fervent adoration of her that began when I was a tyke and continues to this day!

BLANCHE DEVEREAUX of The Golden Girls -- When this sitcom was put together, the producers gathered a positively perfect cast of ladies. Ironically, Rue McClanahan was initially hired to play ditzy Rose while Betty White had been tagged for the outrageously sexual Blanche. The two wisely opted to swap roles, playing against their established types, and the rest is history. To me, Blanche was always funniest in the first four years or so of the series, when McClanahan was actually less overtly attractive and shapely and the character wasn't written as severely bitchy as she later emerged. Somehow that made her antics more amusing. All of her saucy remarks were delivered in a hooty accent that the director of the pilot wouldn't allow the actress to use, but thankfully she was able to utilize it thereafter.

JAIME SOMMERS of The Bionic Woman -- Lindsay Wagner guest-starred on The Six Million Dollar Man as an old girlfriend of Lee Majors who is severely injured and repaired with bionic parts, but then dies when her body rejects them. Wagner, however, was so popular in the two-part episode that a series all her own was built for her, revealing that she hadn't truly died. Wagner's innate charm and down-to-earth style made the superheroine relatable and believable (and, like any idealistic heroine, Jaime was humane and just.) Legions of little girls (and not a few boys!) duplicated her hand-to-the-ear gesture on the playground, pretending to be able to hear faraway events. I know I also, even at sixteen, hardly put my foot out of a car without thinking of the time she stopped one from rolling away with her bionic leg!

JENNIFER HART of Hart to Hart -- "This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous!," said Max, the Hart's chauffeur and Man Friday as Stefanie Powers' face appeared in the opening credits of this stylish mystery series. Sometimes chemistry just soars off the charts between people and such was the case when Powers was paired with Robert Wagner as two wealthy socialites whose lifestyle somehow always places them in the proximity of a crime, usually a murder. Having toiled in an endless string of movies and TV shows, Powers really found her wheelhouse with Jennifer, who had the most distinctive way of calling out, "Jonathan!" to her husband. Actually, everything she said and did, each expression, was distinctive and also intoxicatingly captivating. Ten years after its five-season run, the duo returned for a series of eight popular TV-movies.

KELLY GARRETT of Charlie's Angels -- Jaclyn Smith (one of only two ladies here who hasn't received a tribute of her own, though it's often been considered) came to the trendsetting and wildly popular detective series with the least experience (and third-billing.) Her good girl private eye, ever earnest yet firm when necessary, won audiences over and led to her becoming a household name. Smith is the only Angel to have stayed for all five seasons of the show, which means that she is the only one who appears in all cast photos no matter the line-up. She stayed the course and achieved top-billing, then parlayed her fame into a plethora of successful TV-movies and miniseries. We always know that Kelly will do the right thing, whatever the cost.

MAUDE FINDLAY of Maude -- We adore Dorothy Zbornak of The Golden Girls, but practically every off-the-cuff insult or slow-burning grimace was taken for a test drive first on Maude. With All in the Family's staggering success featuring a far-right character like Archie Bunker, Norman Lear took the other tack and looked for comic gold in a far-left character with Maude. It's safe to say that TV viewers never saw anyone quite as outspoken or as aggressively opinionated as Maude, but even during the most controversial and touchy subjects, Bea Arthur delivered comedy with gusto. Her habits of saying people's names twice ("Oh, Walter, Walter...") or exclaiming "God'll get you for that..." were trademarks of the show. And though TV certainly became ever more topical and permissive, I just don't think anyone could ever top Ms. Arthur when it comes to an aggravated insult or even a startled gaze.

SABLE COLBY of The Colbys -- No dramatic TV character ever caught my attention more than Stephanie Beacham as Sable. Among the least known of a star-filled cast, she came out punching and swiftly became a standout, be it tangling with her craggy sister-in-law Barbara Stanwyck or with her actual sister Katharine Ross. Critics claimed that Beacham was merely playing an Alexis wannabe, but the characters were actually distinctly different. Alexis hadn't been able to cope with her husband's emotional and physical absences and turned to other men. Sable lived completely for her husband and family and was steadfastly faithful to him even though he inexplicably carried a torch for her dreary sister Ross. (Sable's history was unduly tampered with later on Dynasty.) Beacham imbued every line of dialogue with supreme weight and always looked eye-popping. The day she finally granted husband Charlton Heston his divorce ought to have garnered an award nomination, but by then the show was close to cancellation. To this day, youtube is filled with all of Sable's scenes strung together and they remain the principle merit of the show.

VICTORIA BARKLEY of The Big Valley -- The very definition of upstanding, Victoria (as portrayed by Miss Barbara Stanwyck) was the moral compass of the whole region near Stockton, California and the guiding force of its most prominent family, The Barkleys. Stanwyck made it clear from the start that she wasn't going to fret around the house in crinoline while the boys went out to fight. She played with a longer wig and plenty of dresses for one season before shifting to an anachronistic shorter 'do with more trousers and gauchos (not to mention false eyelashes!) She performed with gusto, hurling herself into all sorts of rigorous stunts while always somehow retaining a ladylike image (and behind the scenes running herd on her gaggle of young costars, making sure they behaved professionally!) I probably learned more about discerning right from wrong through Victoria Barkley than from anyone else in my own real life.

WONDER WOMAN of Wonder Woman -- If I approached the new Wonder Woman (2017) movie with apprehension, it's because I already had "my" Wonder Woman, the glorious Lynda Carter. (For the record, I did enjoy Gal Gadot and, for the most part, the movie.) No one will ever, in my opinion, match Carter for that combination of luminous beauty, altruistic innocence and iconic inhabiting of the famous character. It was just a perfect marriage of actress and role, though it must be said that the series itself was never up to snuff, writing-wise, with the performance Carter was providing. Oh, and if you think kids on the playground imitated Jaime Sommers, think about how many slinked towards a secluded spot and then reenacted Carter's legendary twirling transformation from Diana Prince into the red, white and blue heroine!

Bonus Pic

I just had to share this clipping I found while searching for the right photos of these ladies. I couldn't agree more with the text on it. I've watched a lot of TV over the last half-century and no one ever knocked me out the way Ms. Beacham did!

Seeing Stars: Part Three

One can usually tell when my personal life is filled to the brim with activity because that's when the posts turn more towards collections of screencaps than in-depth articles and tributes. And, yes, it's happened again what with Memorial Day weekend activities and other commitments. So, in order to keep things brewing for the time being, we give you another of the televised All-Star Party celebrations such as we previously covered for Clint Eastwood and Lucille Ball. This one, the twelfth of such galas, was to honor Joan Collins who, considering other honorees such as John Wayne, Frank Sinatra, Ingrid Bergman and others, was in fine company indeed! The hour-long broadcast contained tributes in story and song for our Miss Collins while a crowd of celebrities peered out from around rows of voluminous poinsettias.

Presided over, as always, by Monty Hall, the evening was kicked off by introductions of the people who would be participating in the night's entertainment. The event then ended with the dedication of a hospital wing named in honor of the evening's honoree.

Escorted to her seat by previous honorees Clint Eastwood and James Stewart, Joan's boyfriend at the time was one Bill Wiggins.

Wiggins was only with her for about a year, but his relationship with her is immortalized in this 1987 broadcast.

As is always the case, the attendees are made up of mind-blowing combinations of people who one just wouldn't expect to be hobnobbing together. Here we find handsome Andrew Stevens at the same table as Brian Keith.

Robin Leach, of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, gave a speech to Honor Joan. (When Leach died in August of last year, several media outlets ran footage of a show he did with Collins, typifying the glamorous lifestyle he shined a light on.)

Peppered in the audience are Scott Baio, Barbara Eden and Joan's Dynasty co-star/screen husband of the time, the utterly charmless James Healey, with a typically deranged expression on his face. Six years after this, he was convicted of assault with a deadly weapon! He served probation and did community service in order to avoid a two-year jail sentence.

Popping up like Cabbage Patch dolls from amid all the foliage, one can spot folks like Miss Jill Ireland, costume designer Nolan Miller and Ireland's husband Charles Bronson in attendance.

Behind a festive Bea Arthur we find one of our personal favorite people, Leann Hunley, then costarring on Dynasty herself.

Rich Little got up and went into a Johnny Carson impersonation. (Behind him towards the left you will see Cesar Romero and Michael Nader.)

As an bit of an in-joke, Little directed the early part of his monologue to the wrong Miss Collins! He was addressing Joan's sister, romance novelist Jackie Collins.

Joan found this "mix-up" amusing.

Little continued to impersonate a variety of notables from Jimmy Carter to then-President Ronald Reagan and, as seen here, Jack Nicholson.

He also did Jimmy Stewart, which seemed to baffle the actual Stewart, but his longtime wife Gloria appeared to appreciate the similarities...!

Next up came Michael Feinstein and Michele Lee, who performed a medley of complimentary songs like "You're the Top" and "Too Marvelous for Words."

Though fully ensconced in the prime-time soap Knots Landing by this time, Lee still had considerable pipes from her Broadway musical days and sounded quite terrific in her own brassy way.

Bea Arthur and Mr. Stewart engaged in a highly-forced and only moderately amusing bit of comedic repartee together.

Stewart was sporting those huge eyeglasses so popular at the time. In truth, I don't think there could possibly have been another period in history during which eyeglasses tended to be so big and ugly (and many people in this room had them on!)

Even though they were quite friendly with one another, it's not every day you see Joan and Clint at the same table.

Ms. Arthur very clearly did her own hair and makeup for the occasion as it is demonstrably lighter than what she was wearing on The Golden Girls.

Spotted in the crowd also is Dallas' Steve Kanaly. For a moment I thought that was his costar Priscilla Presley next to him, but it was his longtime wife Brett, who apparently liked the hairdo she saw on Pris each Friday night!

Another oddball pairing of celebs. The People's Court's Judge Joseph Wapner nearby Michael York! Bill Wiggins, in the foreground, must have loved Joan's scrambled eggs because he visibly gained weight over the course of their relationship...

In the dark glasses is none other than Alan Thicke. Who did he think he was?!

On hand to sing (or, if I'm right, lip-sync) "A Foggy Day in London Town" is Mr. Tony Bennett.

It had to be a rather special moment to have the acclaimed Mr. Bennett (still kicking at ninety-two) serenading you with a song specifically chosen for your birthplace.

Seen here is Art Linkletter, Florence Henderson (in QUITE the statement necklace!) and Michael York again. The organizers had a certain amount of seats set aside for associates of Collins and it so happened that she preferred to have more behind-the-scenes types (i.e. - "real people") than scads of surface showbiz pals, so this wound up a slightly less celeb-heavy crowd than might usually be seen at one of these soirees.

Eight is Enough's Dick Van Patten.

More Dynasty alum, Gordon Thomson in back and devilish Michael Nader in the foreground.

Character actor Geoffrey Lewis is seated near Barney Miller's Abe Vigoda.

Regardless of what I thought of her acting on Dynasty (and I didn't think much of it!), I felt that Ali MacGraw struck styling gold when she began wearing her hair pulled back tautly like this.

A better shot of Mr. Charles Bronson.

Jill Ireland seems like she'd have been a decent heroine on a glitzy prime-time soap of her own, but she was still making movies (mostly with Bronson.) To the left of her is Pat Paulsen, comic from The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour among other things.

Two more people you don't anticipate seeing together: Jackie Joseph, who worked on The Doris Day Show and provided Melody's voice on Josie and the Pussycats next to Susan Sullivan of Falcon Crest.

Bernie Kopell of The Love Boat.

Next up to speak about the guest of honor is Miss Lynn Redgrave, then the spokeswoman of Weight Watchers ("This... is living!")

Behind a beaming Joan Collins one can make out crazy-bug Joan Van Ark of Knots Landing.

When they speak of '80s excess... I mean this dress is truly just bad. As if the pilgrims had a ladies football team. 

It's a tad bit better going than coming, but that isn't saying a great deal.

St. Elsewhere's Ed Begley Jr.

Another shot of dreamy Leann Hunley.

In front is Miss Angie Dickinson. The smiling lady in pink is none other than Joan Collins' frequent on-set stand-in Judy!

Now a special moment in the evening, a surprise to all the guests arranged by Joan herself with Michael York relaying the introduction.

One request that Joan had when the arrangements were being made for the night was that the producers book a young man she'd seen singing for Pope John Paul II, who was so moved himself on that occasion that he rose from his chair and went to embrace the man.

Tony Meléndez was a man born with no arms when his mother was given Thalidomide while pregnant with him. He began performing in Los Angeles while in his early-twenties, playing the guitar with his feet while singing.

Though not terribly known to most of the world, he still performs in Branson, Missouri and continued a long career after this burst of spotlight in the mid-1980s.

Putting on their best faces, we find Scott Baio and his then-datemate Knots Landing's Nicollette Sheridan. Thirty years after this evening, Sheridan would inherit Joan Collins' iconic role of Alexis on the CW network reboot of Dynasty.

Mike Nader and Leann Hunley enjoy the music. To the right of Hunley is her hirsute then-husband Bill.

Afterwards, a visibly moved Collins gave Meléndez a heartfelt hug.

Next came a letter from President Reagan, read aloud by Mr. Eastwood, who was always visibly uncomfortable in situations like this. With him in the lower-right corner is Sondra Locke, who would be shown the door within two years. In fact, Eastwood was already in the process of fathering two children with another woman at this time after telling Locke (who tied her tubes) that children would not fit in with their lifestyle! The Johnny Appleseed of the semen set has at least eight children to date.

A by-now very emotional Collins was brought up to the podium in order for the announcement of her hospital wing to be made.

The Children's Hospital of Michigan unveiled The Joan Collins Vascular Surgery Inpatient Ward, a place to care for (as was said on the broadcast) "underprivileged and handicapped children." Years later, Collins was made a Dame of the British Empire in recognition of her substantial charity work, much of it directed towards children.

"Awkward!"

Entertainment Tonight's Mary Hart.

Here behind Lynn Redgrave and her shoulders is her husband John Clark. No stranger to scandal of his own, he fathered a child with their personal assistant (and that same assistant subsequently married - and divorced - John and Lynn's son!!) Messy lives...

Nestled in the back is part of Dynasty actress Teri Garber, pretty much the only moment she is visible on the show.

Foster Brooks amid the sea of fugly eyeglass frames... I always chuckle because I once used to perform on board a local floating showboat, now defunct, whose season subscription base was geared quite "older." During curtain calls, I'd come out and be blinded by the reflection of hundreds of glasses like these!

During Joan's acceptance speech, she pointed out producer Mike Frankovich and his wife, actress Binnie Barnes, who was in one of Joan's earliest movies, Decameron Nights (1953.) This was the best look at her that I could find.

Earlier at the end of their little sketch together, Bea and Jimmy toasted La Collins and hoped that she would live forever. That remains to be seen, but she has outlived a staggering number of people who were (and some who weren't) at this event and is still chugging along career-wise, to the delight of her throngs of fans. And she still makes sure to assist many charities in their endless efforts.