Weather Forecast: April Showers!

Yes, children, it's about to rain again in what has become a yearly tradition, but there's no need to grab an umbrella. Instead grab a cake of soap, because these April showers take place in the locker room or bathroom (or, in the case of our cover boys, outside under a tarp courtesy of Yanks, 1979!) If you've never seen Yanks, you will want to at least view the brief, but entertaining, shower that Richard Gere, Chick Vennera and their friends are forced to take in the cold. It's harder and harder to dig up examples that we haven't already featured before, but I did manage to scour up a few.

Child star Jackie Cooper is in his teen years here and a bit shy about having a photo shoot during his morning shower.

Before long, though, he's overcome his modesty and allows the camera to click while he soaps up. By the way, Jackie Cooper was 5'9" and yet he still towers over this shower head! Were they in Shirley Temple's trailer for this?!

Here's quite an eyeful of another child actor who continued to work as an adult, Mickey Rooney.

In 1941's The Man Who Lost Himself, Brian Aherne combines his shower with telling S.Z. "Cuddles" Sakall something he wants him to do.

This is from an excised scene in State Fair (1945), in which Dick Haymes reprised the number "Isn't It Kind of Fun" while taking a shower at the campgrounds. Poseidon's Underworld never approves of the editing of ANY shower scene!

1950s screen villain David Brian lightens up for a fast shower.

1950s actor Howard Duff is in the buff!

Farley Granger is all done and ready to dry off.

Beauteous '50s & '60s leading man Jeffrey Hunter also makes a grab for a nearby towel.

Popular French leading man Yves Montand is having a grand time during his shower.

It's not easy to make out his face, but this is Mr. Cary Grant rinsing off outside.

This young man is Sean Flynn, adventurer, photographer and sometimes actor son of swashbuckling Errol Flynn.

And now a digression into the world of boxing. First up is Rocky Grazziano, whose story was told in the film Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956) starring Paul Newman.

Need a closer look?

Famed heavyweight champion (for a dozen straight years!) Joe Louis is treated to a rain-style shower head (and you thought these were recent inventions...)

There's more to see of Mr. Louis in this shot. (Louis acted in about a dozen TV and movies projects, most often playing himself.)

Joe says, "bye!" for now!

Another much-heralded boxer, a middleweight, Sugar Ray Robinson cools off after a turn in the ring. (Robinson also made a few acting appearances in the 1960s & '70s.)

Back to the showbiz side of things, we find Goldie Hawn singing a number (presumably "Y.M.C.A."?) while a couple of her dancers hose off behind her (sharing one shower head no less!) in the 1980 TV special Goldie and Liza Together.

After all those seasons of Oz (1998-2003), it's hardly unusual to find Christopher Meloni underneath a shower head.

Male model Tyson Beckford uses the shower for a pose, though he neglected to take off his clothing!

Movie strongman Vin Diesel gets wet for a magazine portrait.

Some film-specific showers now. Renato Salvatori and Alain Delon share a scrubdown in Rocco and His Brothers (1960.)

A homoerotic thread runs through Conversation Piece (1974) with Helmut Berger under the nozzle as Burt Lancaster looks on.

Death Race (2008) starred Jason Statham as an ex-con who's a participant in the savage title event, a violent car race. This is a deleted scene in which he gets a rather rough hosing down.

Statham worked like a dog for three months to gain his 6% body fat physique, but he's FAR too skinny this way for my own tastes. I like some man on my men. LOL

Moving on now to some multiple shots of shower scenes from particular films, ones I've recently viewed and wanted to share with readers visiting Poseidon's Underworld!

The 1969 counterfeit ring drama The File of the Golden Goose was a pretty standard, even a bit dull, story until Yul Brynner went on the hunt for a key member of the enemy camp. He was instructed to look in the Turkish baths of London for his man.

As a result, he went from bathhouse to bathhouse, looking over the various men in the hopes that one of them might be the guy he was hunting for. (This lends an obvious tinge of homoeroticism to the proceedings, not diminished by the fact that the object of Brynner's search is indeed gay.)

Brynner, at close to fifty by now, still has his physique. More shots from this movie will be popping up later when I do my next tribute to stars in towels!

This scene of Brynner in a steam bath (while a dress undress extra behind him showers off) occurs before the sequence shown above, but I saved it for last.

This is a pretty obscure horror movie from 1982 called Death Screams. I start with these non-shower shots so that you can get a bit of a look at the star Martin Tucker who takes a shower in the film. (Gotta love the Kelly green sweater over the shoulders!)

Since 1960's Psycho, women in peril while showering had become a cinematic cliche, so it's nice to see the flip side for a change as Tucker heads into the bathroom, doffs his towel and steps into the shower.

We get a nice shot of his back side as the camera slowly zooms in, anticipating danger. Don't miss the yellow (!) toilet with the furry brown (!) seat cover.

You may be surprised to find out that this movie was directed by none other than David Nelson, son of Ozzie & Harriet! We think most all movies need a scene similar to this one...

The danger turns out to be merely a false alarm as it's just a woman coming in to his bathroom and opening the shower door (though depending on the circumstances, that could be scary, too!  LOL) For this part, in which the actress is present, he suddenly has on flimsy flesh-toned panties, seen slightly in the bottom right photo.

Vigilante (1983) was an exploitation drama in which Robert Forster (far right) is sent to prison for taking personal revenge on criminals in his neighborhood.

Forster was no stranger to screen nudity having stripped down for his movie debut Reflections in a Golden Eye (1967) and especially Medium Cool (1969.)

He finds himself on the receiving end of unwanted attention from a hulking fellow inmate. The other bathers scramble out of the room asap, leaving Forster to his fate!

The burly attacker picks up Forster like a rag doll and begins to hurl him around, but fortunately Woody Strode (in the short-sleeved blue shirt) is there for the rescue.

Forster continued to pop up naked on film as late as 1997's American Perfekt.

Next up is A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985), noted for its homoerotic content. A dreaming Mark Patton is taking a shower and bears witness to some wild goings on.

Patton has been involved in some disputes and discipline from his school's coach and gym teacher Marshall Bell. Bell is paid back in spades when he's telekinetically dragged into the shower room and tied to the pipes with some jump ropes.

Then his clothes are ripped from his body and a towel jumps from its stack and comes into the room!

Towel-snapping is taken to a whole new level as the coach is repeatedly whipped with it (and things only go downhill for him from here...)

These next shots are from the baseball flick Bull Durham (1988.)

The hunky players are showering off (or in the case of the guy on the right, soaking.)

Their highly-disappointed coach, however, has a severe tongue-lashing in mind and comes into the shower room with a large armful of baseball bats, which he tosses at the players' feet in disgust.

The naked or half-naked players have to hop around to avoid being pummeled by the heavy wooden bats.

Every player is corralled into the showers for the coach's diatribe.

Here's a closer look at several of the hirsute hunks. Long live the '80s!

I've actually never watched this entire movie, but I feel like I've already seen my favorite part of it...

For our final shower of the day, we're flipping back a bit chronologically, but I really wanted to end with this one. Recently, thanks to a loincloth tribute, some of you became enamored of one Reb Brown. Here, making his screen debut in Sssssss (1973), he plays the brawny, bullying classmate of the movie's star Dirk Benedict.

After trying to force himself on Benedict's girlfriend Heather Menzies and killing her pet snake in the process, Brown takes a different girl to bed, but eventually tosses her out so that he can grab a shower and get some sleep. (Note the clear shower curtain in front of him, if you can take your eyes off that rump!)

 Quite peculiarly (not to mention disappointingly!), the shower curtain has turned opague once Brown has shucked his briefs and stepped inside! What's really bizarre is that it's not a different shower curtain. This some sort of photographic process or cheesy special effect in order to make sure we don't see the delectable hunk's nude body TOO clearly in this PG film...

Cute as he is, he comes close to spoiling the whole sequence with his horrendously off-key warbling of the song "On Top of Ol' Smokey" while he's rinsing off! It is truly unbearable.

In retaliation for his misdeeds, Menzies' father Strother Martin has slinked into Brown's room and is creeping up to him as he takes his mouth-watering shower.

Martin (who, as an actor, had some of the most deliriously exciting blocking here in the history of motion pictures!) tosses one of his deadly snakes into the shower so that Brown will step on it and cause it to attack!

It all goes according to plan and Martin reaches in and pulls out the snake (no, not that one, the one he brought!) Poor, naked Reb Brown is done in.

The End!