A Brief Camp-ing Getaway!

Oh, duckies... We've been overwhelmed by the final rehearsals and opening of our latest stage show (and positively pounded at work as well!), so we can only arrange for a little "camp"-ing trip until things let up a bit. A round of photos that tickle our camp sensibility for one reason or another. We hope you find them interesting or entertaining! Thanks to our cover boy Mark Damon (and his twirling, whirling friend!)

You know that we like vintage ads, especially vintage underwear ads, so we kick things off with four of them from a series of popular ones that have hooty camp characteristics (as well as some beefcake) now.

Hmmm... I like underwear ads that start off with a man naked but for a towel!

I beg your pardon??

The (cut-off) title of this one was "The Long and the Short of It" (and they were allegedly talking about their briefs...)

This publicity portrait for the kiddie show Space Patrol (1950-1955) has Lyn Osborn receiving some attention from gal-pals Virginia Hewitt and Nina Bara while Ed Kemmer and Ken Mayer look on. Are they jealous of Lyn or of the girls?  LOL

The plot and cast of The Girl in Black Stockings (1957), a murder thriller, has built-in camp value that this rather awkward publicity portrait only emphasizes further. Shown are Mamie Van Doran, Lex Barker, Anne Bancroft and Marie Windsor (though a scenery-chewing Ron Randell isn't depicted here.)

Presumably a portrait taken for a TV special (?), Chita Rivera brings along the camp and a trio of hirsute safety gays.

Populating the TV-movie High School U.S.A (1983) with a plethora of former child actors and sitcom stars past their "best if sold by" date was already a recipe for corniness, but this bizarre photo, in which Gilligan's Island's (1964-1967) Dawn Wells head is quite larger than anyone else's and looms over Michael J. Fox like a Carnival or Mardi Gras decoration seals the deal. Also shown are Father Knows Best's (1954-1960) Elinor Donahue and Make Room for Daddy's (1953-1965) Angela Cartwright. (The movie also included Bob Denver, Dwayne Hickman, Tony Dow, David Nelson and Dana Plato!)

In 1950's Return of the Frontiersman, velvet-voiced Gordon MacRae is serenading Julie London, but Rory Calhoun seems to be taking just as much, if not more, interest in what Gordy's got to offer!

This staged portrait is from the middle of Barbara Stanwyck's career (maybe around 1952's Clash By Night?), not the early days, so it is quite rare to find her doing swimsuit/cheesecake poses. The actress was resistant to anything of this sort from the very beginning of her film career, which started in the very late-1920s.

In the 1962 peplum adventure My Son, The Hero, Giuliano Gemma seems to be positioning himself for something more than a fight with Serge Nubret! Make love, not war, I always say...

I couldn't resist sharing a better view of Gemma's li'l get-up. Look closely at the cute construction of it, how it wraps around his torso. (P.S. - the King's outfit on the right is just the sort of thing that I would - and have - been put into in a show!)

We recently mentioned Vince Edwards' career start during our tribute to The Seduction (1982) and here he is (blond!) in Mister Universe (1950) with a collection of cohorts that includes Bert Lahr, Jack Carson and an unrecognizable Janis Paige.

Sal Mineo, during one of his films such as Tonka (1958) seems to have been caught with his pants down or over a barrel...

What an odd composition of humpy Van Williams for his series Surfside 6 (1960-1962), but then if I looked the way he did, I'd gaze at myself often, too!

Williams' pal and fellow TV hero Adam West had it far worse with this campy shot from Batman (1966-1968)  From the soaked-through chest sweat, we can surmise that the costume was an absolute furnace on that hot beach!

Talk about weird (but not unwelcome!), we have this promotional photo of 4/5ths of the cast of The Rat Patrol (1966-1968), a desert-set WWII action show that starred Christopher George, Lawrence Casey, Justin Tarr and Eric Braeden (then known as Hans Gudegast.) Missing from this uncharacteristically-undressed shot is Gary Raymond.

Here during a break in filming Planet of the Apes (1968), Charlton Heston enjoys a moment with a diminutive actor portraying one of the ape youngsters. We hope it's not an actual child, considering he's having a smoke - through a holder to avoid damaging the extensive make-up!

Even crazier is this shot of a couple of gals grabbing their masks, but not the rest of their simian get-ups!

What, you may ask, is happening here?! No this isn't a snapshot from Fire Island, but a publicity photo for the TV miniseries Breaking Up Is Hard to Do (1979.) The examination of the demise of six male friends' relationships starred Billy Crystal, Tony Musante, Ted Bessell, David Ogden Stiers, Robert Conrad and Jeff Conaway.

Look at him go! Gregory Harrison portrayed a male stripper in the landmark TV-movie For Ladies Only (1981)

You might recognize this couple, but do you know what the project was? No cheating! I'll tell you their names in any case:  Jean Simmons and Bert Convy. Answer a little later below.

The unfortunately silly disaster flick The Concorde...Airport '79 issued this press photo of the plane spinning upside down (something it did over and over, even after the passengers survived it and disembarked... they got back on for more!!)

Just for fun, here's that same press photo upside-down so you can see the flip side!

We really do love Jane Seymour, and she may very well warrant a tribute here one of these days for her stunning work in miniseries TV and Somewhere in Time (1980), but remember in the late-'80s when she was shoving her intensely romantic life down our throats?

She even prepared a coffee table book on the subject, as if members of her general fan base were going to in any way be able to live in a castle with swans floating around and bedeck themselves in jewels and voluminous gowns!

This over-the-top display of home perfection and romantic ecstasy did backfire a bit when she and her husband divorced about six years after the publication of her guide...

Look who we have here! Linda Rogo and Reverend Scott from The Poseidon Adventure (1972)?

Well, not quite, but sorta... this pair of models are wearing the film's costumes in order to demonstrate some of Paul Zastupnevich's work during the presentation of the Best Costume award at the 1973 Academy Awards ceremony!

In a trend that went on several times over the course of about a decade, music played while the clothing was shown off by models (or some years, making it even more fun, actresses!) Campy and tacky, but SO MUCH FUN! You can view the whole spectacle here. Do note that the same piece of John Williams music - from The Poseidon Adventure's New Year's Eve party - is reworked for each of the five vignettes!

And now we'll leave you with the answer to our earlier question about what Jean Simmons and Bert Convy were doing, gussied up and in an embrace. They were costars of the fabulously horrendous, thus captivatingly compelling, TV miniseries Jacqueline Susann's Valley of the Dolls (1981)! Seen here is David Birney as Lyon Burke and a gaggle of nautical chorines.

Someone somewhere felt the need to cast Bert Convy as the medically (and mentally!)-challenged Tony Polar and Jean Simmons as the fire-breathing diva Helen Lawson. They are shown in the program performing a number from their latest alleged spectacular movie musical! True, both had sung before - he in Fiddler on the Roof on Broadway and she in Guys and Dolls (1955) - but they were hardly the types to portray hit musical stars of 1981! Pictured with Simmons is the movie's costumer Jean-Pierre Dorléac, who wrote to me once after reading a blog entry concerning Pamela Hensley, (whose costumes on Buck Rogers he'd designed!) but whose e-mail I accidentally deleted not long after receiving it! My apologies, Mssr. Dorléac!

Hungry For Some Sir Loin?

Today's photo essay will be examining that cinematic staple of the loincloth. In some ways it will be "brief" yet in others it will "hang on" as I've been known to do! While its certainly not an inclusive collection, it contains most of the examples that have hit my own consciousness over the years along with other discoveries. See if any of them happen to be favorites of your own. Our cover boy today is the most famous movie Tarzan, Mr. Johnny Weissmuller.

It stands to reason that a post about loincloths would include plenty of Tarzan. I've touched on the topic of that character before and have also had many photos over the years of comic book covers that feature some of the actors who portrayed him. Still, there is always more water from that well, so I'll post some more today.

As I say, Weissmuller was the most prominent movie Tarzan and still is to many people.

His costume early in the series was skimpy, with just a string across the waistline until the Production Code was established, whereupon it began to cover more and more.

He and Maureen "Jane" O'Sullivan had considerable chemistry together and created some erotically charged moments in the early films that later gave way to corny, campy bits.

Weissmuller's replacement in the series was the delectable Lex Barker.

Often noted as the first blond Tarzan, Buster Crabbe had done a serial previously (looking utterly adorable) and his hair was somewhat blond, too.

None of Barker's Tarzan films were in color, but judging from comic book covers like these, he'd have been devastating!

Yum!

The next Tarzan was far more heavily muscular than Barker or Weissmuller, hunky Gordon Scott.

He did get to film some of his jungle exploits in color and was successful in the role.

I love this bun-revealing publicity photo of Scott.

Handsome Mike Henry came next with a thankfully abbreviated loincloth and a trimmer, though still muscular, physique. Henry is noted as the first Tarzan with a hairy chest.

Weissmuller's introductory 1932 classic Tarzan, the Ape Man was ineptly remade in 1959 with UCLA basketball star Denny Miller as the title figure and Joanna Barnes as a bouffant Jane.

Nevertheless, the athletic Miller still looked pretty good in his loincloth, don't you think?

The franchise lay dormant after that for many years and then in 1981, John Derek directed a softporn-ish rendition of Tarzan, the Ape Man centering on his wife Bo Derek as Jane and with Miles O'Keefe as the man of the wilds.

Lord, even the poses for publicity material have a porno-ish aspect to them. (Admit it, you've seen this look before!)

A far more literate approach to the story was taken in 1984's Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, with Christopher Lambert in the title role, though that movie also had its share of issues.

How many of you recall that Johnny Sheffield (who played "Boy" in some of the Tarzan movies) later had his own series of movies as Bomba?

Made on a shoestring, with plenty of bad acting and cardboard sets, Sheffield himself was nevertheless quite appealing.

This is a young Beverly Garland acting opposite the loincloth-wearing hero.

Although his naturally curly hair is cute, for me its something about Sheffield's gentle speaking voice that is so appealing. You'd have to see him in action and here it to know what I mean.

After 1955, the moderately husky Sheffield left show business and later met with some weight gain, but was happily involved with farm, construction and real estate ventures. A fall from a ladder in 2010 led to a fatal heart attack. He was seventy-nine. 

The famous Tarzan look has popped up all over the place including this guy during the climax of Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles (1974.)

What really inspired this post in the first place is this paperback book, a tie-in to the 1973 movie of the same name. I found it while on one of my continuing searches for anything movie-oriented that I wish to save from possible oblivion!

The large print paperback, aimed at a younger audience, is riddled with photos of Jan-Michael Vincent as a boy raised in the jungle who is recruited to be a track and field star.

Any time I see a movie tie-in paperback with photos that is in good condition, I try to snatch it up (so that my heirs can just toss all of them into the street when I'm gone! LOL)

Anyway, leafing through it made me think that a tribute to the loincloth might be a fun idea for The Underworld.

Surely one of the most famous cinematic loincloths belongs to Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes (1968.)

I think all science-fiction should involve either skintight or very skimpy clothing!

He looked really good in his teensy get-up, but if you go to my tribute to James Franciscus you'll see that he looked even better in his for the sequel Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)!

Oh, what the heck. I found an extra moment of time and am feeling generous, so here is Mr. Franciscus strutting his hot stuff!

Now appearing in a skimpy loincloth was already old hat for Heston. Notably, he'd done a lengthy sequence wearing one in 1959's Ben-Hur while portraying a galley slave.

The underbelly of the boat he's in is jam-packed with all sorts of men wearing nothing but rags, loincloths and flimsy wraps.

When the ship is rammed, he flies into action to save others and fight the enemy.

He's especially interested in helping the Roman who allowed him to remain unchained to all the other slaves, rightly believing that in saving him, he can better his chances for survival and freedom. 

When daylight comes, we get a decent full view of Heston in his rapidly deteriorating get-up.

Those caveman/dinosaur movies of the 1960s are another great place to spot loincloths. This quartet is from When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (1970), a very enjoyable romp through pre-history. 

That genre really was kick-started by the 1966 sensation One Million Years B.C., with John Richardson and Raquel Welch. Her fabulous "fur bikini" was a worldwide hit.

Richardson, underneath all the dirt, grime and mangy wig, was actually a handsome guy.

By the time of 1971's Creatures the World Forgot, the clothing had been reduced from pelts and fur to virtually a flap of leather and a string!

Though many of the actors in Creatures the World Forgot are almost cadaverously thin, it's a must see for anyone who likes to see plenty of slender physiques and practically bare behinds.

An already campy genre was sent up in 1981 by Ringo Starr in Caveman. Seen here is the burly football player-turned-actor John Matuszak.

This isn't actually a loincloth on Stuart Whitman, but it might as well be (and since when have we ever quibbled about such matters?!) The captivating 1965 film Sands of the Kalihari offers up some amazing views of Stu as his khaki pants keep deteriorating until they reach this point! 

Look at ol' Captain Von Trapp himself, Christopher Plummer, in the 1969 film The Royal Hunt of the Sun, in which he plays an Incan god-chief. Yum!

Stacey Keach in the 1974 film Luther, about Martin Luther. (I opted not to go down the whole "sexy Jesus in a loincloth" road in this post, lest I offend anyone's sensibilities - more than usual - even though I might have been able to!) 

In Spartacus (1960), Kirh Douglas was decked out in some sort of loincloth-panties for a turn in the arena.

Obviously, the more recent Starz series has a ton of this stuff, too, but we tend to stick to the past here in Poseidon's Underworld. I like this shot of Kirk, which is less "hemmed in" than many other photos of him from this part of the movie.

Maybe more of a skirtlet than a loincloth, but nevertheless, I'm including this shot of Richard Harris from The Bible: In the Beginning...  

The Who's rock musical Tommy (1975) had Roger Daltrey running around in a loincloth for part of the story.

1972's Chato's Land starring Charles Bronson was a memorable example of an actor wearing a loincloth for much of the movie's running time.

You have to be pretty confident in your body to wear this little for practically a whole film.

In a similar vein, there is Sean Connery in Zardoz (1974), though he wore other items besides this during parts of the movie.

In a role initially intended for Burt Reynolds, Connery becomes the servant/plaything of some idly bored, intellectual, yet numb, entitled citizens of a future world. 

As I said earlier, it takes guts, but he somehow still looks great!

When it comes to famous loincloths, we can't forget Christopher Atkins' weathered little scrap from The Blue Lagoon (1980.)

This film, which also featured plenty of Brooke Shields' (and her body double's) skin made a big splash at the box office.

Anyone remember its belated sequel/rip-off Return to the Blue Lagoon in 1991? It made barely a ripple, due perhaps in part to the fact that the sliding scene shown at the left was done fully naked by Atkins, but not by this film's lead, Brian Krause. 

Krause was an amiable presence, but not particularly memorable. He did, however, grow up into quite a handsome fellow.

Child model-turned-actress Milla Jovovich got more feature film career mileage than he did.

What about the out-and-out Blue Lagoon rip-off Paradise (1982) with Phoebe Cates and Willie Ames? Like Atkins, Ames went full monty in this movie, albeit underwater.

Here's Reb Brown in his loincloth for a publicity photo from the movie Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983.)

In the actual movie, however, his curly mullet was replaced with a shaggy, blond fright wig!

At least his body still looked great...

One (in)famous loincloth was the one JohnTravolta wore in the camp spectacle Staying Alive (1983), the loony sequel to the blockbuster Saturday Night Fever (1977.)

This is a photo of Duncan Regehr, along about the time of the 1984 TV miniseries The Last Days of Pompeii. 

The 1987 straight-to-video Deathstalker II had young John Terlesky, wearing a loincloth, taking on Amazon women in the ring.

He's looking good here, but after accidentally seeing a photo of him from the obscure Agatha Christie mystery Appointment with Death (1988), I really think I need to revisit that one even more than to hunt down this!

Lastly, we find Tom Berenger, going native in 1991's At Play in the Fields of the Lord.

Not only did he strip down to a teeny, tiny loincloth, but at one point he got rid of even that!

The End!