Oh, (fair) child... We've gone and done it again! During a recent trudge through one of Ohio's biggest book fairs, we came upon buried treasure. The 1984 publication Morgan Fairchild's Super Looks, one of many beauty books to come out during the 1970s and '80s in which glitzy celebs shared their recipes for bodily success and stylistic excess. You recall our recent tribute to Polly Bergen's
tome and years ago we profiled the one by
Victoria Principal. (We also got in on some of the men who did these sort of books, like
Jim Palmer and
Arnold Schwarzenegger!)
Truth be told, we could have gone into debt at this book fair, in which scads of books were piled onto tables (and yet carefully categorized) with prices no higher than $2.00 on anything not set aside in a special, small collector's item section. This is how it ran: Day One: $10 admission, Day Two: Free admission (the day I went), Day Three: $1.00 per bag, which you could fill up (!) and Day Four: $1 admission and you could take all the books you wanted to! That's when I should have gone since most people wouldn't look twice at the books I was really after. But a) I don't need any more (!), b) it's in another city from my own and c) I didn't want to risk missing out on little gems like the things seen here, which are only a fraction of the books I picked up.
Anyway... Here we have the introduction to the book, in which Ms. Fairchild recounts her un-beautiful childhood and the day she realized she could get a grown man's attention. (Perhaps I need a gypsy costume of my own! Ha ha ha!!
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| Yes, in 1984 we were still draping ourselves in real fur, though that would soon change. I wonder if she has anything else on besides the color-coordinated satin pumps... |
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| The lower-right picture of Fairchild with the glasses and library lady-ish chain on them reminds me of a remark a friend once made to me when I posted a horrifying childhood pic on Facebook: "You must be the strongest, most well-adjusted person in the world to post that picture!" LOLOL |
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| It's amazing to watch the metamorphosis take place as little Patsy Ann McClenny (born Feb. 3rd, 1950) morphs into Morgan Fairchild. |
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| This pic seems clearly to be from Fairchild's Search for Tomorrow days as the manipulative, even murderous Jennifer Pace. I can still hear my grandmother any time Fairchild appeared as a guest on TV, "Oh, there's that JENNIFER!" |
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| I don't know who her li'l friend is here, but I'd like to... |
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| Due to time and space constraints, I had to limit how much text from this book that I scanned, but I have to say that her writing is fairly humble and compelling (and genuinely helpful as a result.) I figured we were in for a Brenda Dickson ego-fest! |
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| "...severe hair styles without makeup look like Olive Oyl." (LOL!!) |
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| This is actually the middle of two pages. It is a bit interesting to see her without the full-on war paint. |
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| Skipping to the final result...! |
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| "...if I wear the huge frames that are so popular, they make me look like a cross-eyed bug." By the way, the last "Quick Tip" is "keep your hands...out of your hair." Just watch almost any Real Housewife sometime. Their hands are NEVER out of their hair! |
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| Here Ms. Fairchild demonstrates her technique for keeping her lipstick on throughout dinner in public. "Use your lower teeth and tongue to do the work your bottom lip usually does." |
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| Interesting tales in here about a disaster that Ms. Fairchild had with her hair during The Seduction (1979) and Flamingo Road. |
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| Baby's breath always makes me think of Shelby Eatonton in Steel Magnolias... |
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| Fairchild punished the hell out of her hair in the 1980s, rarely - if ever - wearing a wig, so it's a miracle she was able to hold onto it even apart from the salon disaster. |
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| "This is my innocent look." Yeah... she's known for that one! |
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| I love this jacked-up look (which she refers to as "lightly fluffed!" Okay...) |
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| I'd love to know the hairdresser she tells on in this section...! |
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| The second Quick Tip made me chortle. I can see some bimbo using Miracle Whip! |
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| And now for some of my clearly inferior friends who I wish to make look good, but not as good as me.... (not a quote. Ha ha!) |
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| Damned if I can tell much difference in the lipsticks...! |
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| And now to the Tracy Griffith/Stella Parton portion of our program. Cathryn Hartt is Fairchild's younger sister and an actress in her own right. Perhaps you caught some of her spellbinding roles such as "Waitress," "Secretary" or "Teleprompter Girl" (<-- b="" flick="" from="" one="" s="" sis="" that="">The Seduction |
.)
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| Hartt segued out of acting by 1987, but recently made appearances in two short films. |
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| I couldn't help noticing that the wire is bent in this gal's long, drop earring, but no one bothered to adjust it before the picture was snapped. |
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| I know I am imagining this and that they did not actually put a piece of hot pink netting up around her head like a fancy kerchief! |
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| The alleged makeup-free face of our author. |
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| I actually made some of these faces while perusing the book... LOL! |
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| I desperately want to make that top photo my Facebook profile pic. |
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| These next two pages have quick tips for fingernail care... |
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| ...so naturally there is a photo of her with her hands hidden behind her head...?! |
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| Get outta my way, bitch! Ha ha! This is the pic that goes along with the Body Language section. You'd never know it from this, but Ms. Fairchild is actually only 5'4." |
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| Oh, I'd forgotten all about Jake Steinfeld of Body By Jake. Did you know (as I just found out!) that he is the uncle of young actress Hailee Steinfeld?! |
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| There were scads of these black & white shots of Fairchild exercising in all sorts of positions. Thank goodness none of the pages of my copy of Super Looks were "stuck together...!" |
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| See kids? We really did wear leg warmers in the '80s! But they often were part of a whole ensemble (including also the requisite headband.) |
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| Through the magic of yoga, you too can achieve the level of perfect "resting bitch face." |
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| I'd love to see me trying to wear a satin robe against huge satin pillows... I'd have slid off the bed and wound up in the upward dog yoga position. Unintentionally! |
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| Tell her to get her ass on that moon! (It was actually Morgan Brittany who once toured the country as Mame!) |
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| Meet "Princess Di"... |
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| Somehow the vintage lace dress warranted a soft-focus photo. |
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| For some reason it made me titter that she felt the need to mention that this dress is the one she wore to go see Dreamgirls. How random...! And her right hand looks oddly misshapen here. Time to get out the paraffin and olive oil! |
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| She suggests wearing this to the ballet! Lord have mercy... those sleeves would take up half the chairs on either side of her. Dig the patterned hosiery. |
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| I love the way she looks here; the piled up hair and the slinky negligee. |
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| Hey sis, wanna be in my book? There's room in the shot behind my hat so long as you help arrange my dress. (Actually, her sister did compose a glowing footnote, praising Fairchild's strength, discipline and goodness.) |
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| The End! |
Morgan is not scared, Child! This is fabulous!!! almost screamed at my desk, close call.
ReplyDeleteYears ago I worked with a bartender who told me he went to Juilliard with Cathy McClenny, and there she was at the end of your post. Pretty, both of them.
In one photo Morgan looks like Judy Greer, who come to think of it has always reminded me of Morgan Fairchild. Think of how lucky we were back then to have a Morgan Brittany, and a Morgan Fairchild? An embarrassment of riches. I remember being at a party in the 80's in NJ and some man kept switching wigs from blonde to brown in tribute to them both.
I have always thought her whole package was a scream, from the material to the looks,and now I can add authoress to that. I kind of think of her as part of a vixen troika, Donna Mills and Lisa Hartmann rounding out the trio.
I can't believe that Jake is Halee Steinfeld's Uncle, what a riot.
She is killing me with the exercise looks, and the stirrup pants! I must say her daytime looks are very Spiegel catalog. And lol on the slippery satin. I just got a set of sheets, and you aren't kidding, you slide all over the place. What a mistake for me but perfect for Morgan. All hail the Queen of 80's glamour!
OMG! I remember flipping through this book in B. Dalton's when it was new!
ReplyDeleteComic artist/illustrator/celebrity satirist Drew Friedman used "that" photo from Morgan's facial exercises as reference in a strip he did imagining a secret romance between la Fairchild and a schlub friend of his:
http://golemuniverse.blogspot.com/2008/09/marnin-and-morgan.html
Great find and analysis, as usual!
I must have looked at that four photo spread of her without make-up half a dozen times before I believed that it was actually Morgan. Nice reminder of the true artistry of well-done make-up.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, Gingerguy! We're gonna have to set you up with a go-pro camera to catch all your reactions to P.U. You can become a youtube sensation. Interesting that someone on earth knew Cathy! Her short films, about two old ladies, look mildly amusing from what I could tell. One thing I didn't mention, nor has anyone else, is Morgan Fairchild's highly distinctive voice and manner of speaking!!! Unmistakable always.
ReplyDeletehsc, what a hoot about B. Dalton bookstore....!!!! If yours was anything like mine, there would be certain books, usually with beefcake or nudity, that ended up in a secluded section and looked as if they'd been gone over (and over!) by a prospective "buyer." Unreal about the comic strip!!!!
Scooter...! So funny. She had quite a section on makeup application, but I can only scan so much (I don't think anyone should feel cheated with 60+ pages!) She looked very different without the "war paint" as many stars did and do! :-)
The pic with her sister is hilarious. It’s the classic old Hollywood upstage, as though MF (funny initials) was threatened by her sis by even zero point zero one percent.
ReplyDeleteI think my favorite part of the 80s jazzercise look is the twisted fabric headband. I think Joan Collins was the best with the headband. Made her head look like a plush Saturn. And it’s funny how it was used in dressier outfits as well, saying, she is not just trendy, she’s youthful. MF’s red pic with the black outfit is stunning.
Shawn, glad you liked this! LOL about ol' MF...! I do of course recall Joan in her twisted headband. Remember she did some ads for a gym and she was shown gently pressing on a weight machine saying, "Unfortunately, darling, even I have to pay..." ?! Then Latoya Jackson started in on them for nearly every occasion and the look died out. Ha ha!
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone remember the old Bruce Weber book looking good filled with nothing but male models instructions on grooming I lived on that book like an oxygen tank through my teens
ReplyDeleteOf course this is my ranking Farrah Fawcett, Morgan Fairchild and Susan Anton as the blondes to be in the 70s and 80s
ReplyDeleteWhat a find! I absolutely adore Morgan Fairchild, and I have a thing for these weird "vanity project in the guise of self-help" books that seemed to proliferate in the '80s. The hilarious images are no match for your riotous commentary. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great find! I too love all the “self help” books from 80s personalities (come to think of it, I suppose actresses mainly “wrote” them). These books are always a hoot and a half because the tips are always outlandish and you know these women weren’t doing any of this junk. The fashions are always hilarious too. I love actresses like Morgan Fairchild. They remind me of the old studio stars who were trained to do the whole nine yards of makeup and full on insane outfits even if they popped down to the 7-11 for a Slurpee because they were stars, dammit! I miss those kinds of celebrities.
ReplyDeleteI audibly gasped at that pic of Ms Fairchild with Jake Steinfield. One because her arm placement is awkward as hell and two because I was just thinking about him the other day! No, I never had a crush on his goofy looking ass or anything. I was reminded of his existence because I was watching Coming to America in which he has a small role as a cab driver. That immediately made me remember that god awful show he had on The Family Channel in the 80s/90s, Big Brother Jake. I used to hate watch it before I knew there was a term for it.
JBridge, I don't really recall that Bruce Weber book, but I'd sure LIKE TO! Ha ha! And, funnily enough, no other significant '80s blondes spring to my mind beyond the ones you mention...! You think there would be dozens. I think Suzanne had been banished by the early-'80s. There were the Landers Sisters. Maybe Ann Jillian. I like the ones you picked best.
ReplyDeleteKen, so happy that you got a kick out of this and that you appreciated my remarks along the way. I'll very happily take "riotous!" :-)
Andrea, that's very astute to mention that these glamour gals were similar to the old studio stars when it came to appearance. I, too, miss those type of celebs... As Joan Crawford once said, "If you want the girl next door, then go next door!" LOL I am SCREAMING over the "arm placement" of the Jake picture...! Hilarious. I love it when other people can notice things that evade me when I'm working on something. Good God, it was a stretching exercise for her just to throw her manicured hand around his neck! Now I'm looking at his weird mouth and getting vaguely uncomfortable.....
Another fabulous post, Poseidon. I remember La Fairchild as Jordan Roberts on Falcon Crest, with a split personality, one being an utter trollop. Of course the "bad girl" personality is always the more interesting. Her leading man was the delicious Simon McCorkindale.
ReplyDeleteShe's also a prolific political pundit on Twitter.....
Thanks, donald! I believe I had bailed on "Falcon Crest" by that time, though I knew she'd come on the show. I liked Simon, too!
ReplyDeleteLast month while researching and writing my recent post on one of the great '80s glitz queens Morgan Fairchild (here it is: https://wordsseemoutofplace.blogspot.com/2019/02/my-misspent-youth-morgan-fairchild_7.html) I stumbled on this post and first of all I'm jealous you found a copy of the book and secondly this is an awesome post! I'm tempted to share some of the images you used here at my blog, maybe as a recurring series of posts about the totally outrageous awesomeness of the Super Looks book. I will of course link to your post and site, and give image credit to you. If I get around to actually doing this, I'll try and come back and let you know! Thanks for the inspiration!
ReplyDeleteFine by me. Thanks for sharing your own work (and for acknowledging mine!) Take care!
ReplyDelete