Poseidon Quickies: "W" T F?

In the summer time, I am outside a lot. And on weekends I am at the pool. In the spring and fall I often walk outside as well. But in the winter time, I tend to bundle up on weekend mornings and watch TV. Thus, I was tuning into the Grit channel and saw one episode of a pretty obscure western called The Travels of Jaimie McPheeters.  It starred Dan O'Herlihy (in a stovepipe hat and heinous wig) and young Kurt Russell as pioneers on their way from Paducah, Kentucky to California in search of gold and a new life. One notable casting element is that the show featured nine episodes in which the Osmond Brothers (prior to Donny joining) sang barbershop quartet-style songs around the wagon train campfire! But, apart from that, what caught my eye was the wagon master.

For the first 14 episodes of McPheeters, this was the wagonmaster. For a hot minute, before listing to the voice, I thought it was TCM's Robert Osborne during his early acting days! LOL (Check it out below if you don't think that's possible.) But it was not he... 

I do think there was a resemblance!

No, the role was essayed by an actor named Michael Witney. Always curious about nice looking young men of the screen who are unfamiliar to me, I started to check his resume. It sent me down a bit of a rabbit hole and, since many of you seem to enjoy these rides, I'm going to take you along with me!

Born in Ticonderoga, New York on November 21, 1931, Whitney Michael Armstrong made his screen debut (billed as Whitney Armstrong) on season four, 1962 installment of The Untouchables. As one of the five brothers depicted above, there was hardly room to make an impact. Said brothers were James Caan, Mark Allen, Lee Marvin, Witney and Roy Thinnes. That's quite a family! He'd been a rather inconsequential minor league baseball player in the early-to-mid '50s before exploring acting.

Emerging as Michael Witney the following year, he was fortunate enough to be cast as a regular on McPheeters. Unfortunately, after 14 episodes, he was let go and replaced...

If such a thing is going to happen, I suppose it's good to know that at least you were replaced by someone with a future ahead of him. In this case, Charles Bronson! But I digress. The show was canceled after one season anyway.

Witney found work on 1960s westerns like Rawhide and Gunsmoke, also working on The Fugitive and Tarzan. You may have seen him playing the seaman who transports Zsa Zsa Gabor from Gilligan's Island!

Witney also found his way onto the big screen in 1967's The Way West. The movie starred Kirk Douglas, Robert Mitchum and Richard Widmark, so there wasn't a great deal of room for many others. He played a married man who is adored by little Sally Field, who was making her own big-screen debut.

The year after, he guest-starred in what was one of my less-favorite episodes of Star Trek. Nancy Kovack may have shown off a sleek midriff, but the men looked ludicrous is a variety of castoff blonde wigs....

"You tell Dorothy Provine she can't have this wig back until we wrap the show...!" During this period he also guest-starred on The F.B.I., Bonanza and Daniel Boone, among others.

He was one of many soldiers buzzing about Julie Andrews in 1970's Darling Lili.

Then came Doc (1971) alongside Stacey Keach and Miss Faye Dunaway.

He played Ike Clanton in the gritty western and was fourth-billed. No considerable feature film work followed, though, so it was back to television.

He worked on some TV-movies as well as Cannon, The Sixth Sense and, as shown here, Owen Marshall, Counselor at Law. Walter Hill and his assistant Sharon Gless are counseling Reverend John Davidson and his wife Louise Sorel. Davidson has been accused of skinny-dipping and wife-swapping and is suing for libel.

Now we come to the principle subject of this post. I was going to do a write-up only on this, but expanded it to include the pics and info shown above. In 1974, Witney was cast in another movie. He was selected to play the husband of model-turned-actress Twiggy in a thriller. (This "thriller" was made by Bing Crosby Productions and produced by Mel Ferrer! It was directed by Richard Quine, known more for musicals and comedies...)

W- Ever even heard of it?!?! It was in the "Hitchcock tradition" in that it has a frightened, blonde, female lead, and she does take a mostly off-screen shower, but comparisons pretty much end there...

Between 1966 and 1970, Twiggy (born Lesley Hornby) was a worldwide sensation as a waif-like, rather androgynous model. She made a lot of money and was photographed by virtually all of the renowned fashion photographers of the day. Retiring at age 21, she next starred in Ken Russell's musical film, The Boyfriend (1971), which earned her two Golden Globes for Best Actress and Best Newcomer! The under-performing movie, though, saw her absent from screens until W.

She was still living up to her nickname as seen in this early moment from the movie.

As a young wife and sculptress, Twiggy's peaceful, beach-side existence is disrupted by a freak automobile mishap in which her cars zooms forward, taking out the couple's carport in the process!

Her sympathetic husband Witney downplays the situation.

Still, he can't help but be alarmed when he surveys the wreckage and discovers a large "W" inscribed on the passenger door. 

Soon enough, she's begun to get past the incident.

However, it isn't long before she goes to plug in an appliance and is on the receiving end of a spark-filled shock.

Her hand is blistered in the process.

She's able to do a bit of work nonetheless. You'll just never guess what she's creating in this sequence....! Ever date a sculptress? What hands!

Now Witney has barely survived a hideous car crash as well! His station wagon slams into a boat down at the dock and he discovers, to his chagrin, another "W!" (If y'all would wach your cars every now and again, someone wouldn't be able to "write" messages like this on them in the accumulated grime!) 

While walking along the beach, Twiggy can't shake the feeling that something is wrong or that perhaps she's being followed. As seen here, when she's not wearing a compression sundress, she did in fact have a chest. No, she's not Jeanne Carmen, but she's got a figure.

No one, even in the movies, can have this many incidents and not have a degree of foul play involved, so Witney is concerned.

During his phone call, Twiggy is in the shower, but suddenly he hears her screaming.

A "W" marked on the bathroom mirror is revealed by the steam. They've had company...!

Plagued by nightmares, Twiggy awakes and cradles a beloved doll of hers. Girl, you've got a furry doll in bed waiting for you...!

At least this scene allows us to glimpse Witney's carpeted chest.

She finally does get back into bed and into his arms and who can blame her?

One day without soliciting him, a private eye shows up, offering his services!

The rather mysterious P.I. is played by familiar (and busy) character actor Eugene Roche.

During this part of the movie, Witney is sporting some pretty revealing tan trousers, on which the camera lingers.

See what I mean?

As you know I live for unintentionally (?) graphic moments like this in vintage TV and movies.

During another setup of the same sequence, everything has suddenly moved over to the other side! Would this qualify as a continuity gaffe on imdb.com?? Ha ha!

In any case, there are more "Ws" to come and various confounding moments for the young couple.

As an example that Hollywood is rarely capable of generating fresh stories, we find out that Twiggy had been married once before to an abusive, obsessive husband. She faked her own death and ran away, eventually finding happiness with Witney. Now she thinks he may be after her. In 1991, this conceit was the main thrust of Julia Roberts' Sleeping with the Enemy.

Also among the cast is ubiquitous character actor John Vernon.

On hand as well is gorgeous Dirk Benedict in an early role, his third film. W can be seen on YT right here (in a print slightly better than the one I saw and have represented.)

Our story isn't quite over, however. Just prior to W, Twiggy had broken ties with her hairdresser/manager Justin de Villeneuve, who reportedly had been controlling of her her life and career. So the story mustn't have been too difficult for her to identify with. Nor was the relationship with Witney solely play-acting. They soon became a couple (he was already wed for nearly 20 years to his first wife!)

While in London, Witney costarred in a British TV series called Oil Strike North, which only lasted 13 episodes.

The relentlessly-photographed couple wed in 1977 and soon moved to the US.

He resumed TV guest roles on Kojak, Delvecchio and Charlie's Angels.

On December 1st, 1978, following a miscarriage the prior January, the couple welcomed a baby girl, Carly, into their lives.

Next they were reunited on screen together, of a sort, when they were cast in the negligible Tommy Smothers "comedy" There Goes the Bride (1980.) He was Smothers' pal and straight foil for the humorous situation which arose as Twiggy, Smothers' 1920s flapper dream girl, keeps appearing to him - but no one else. 

The low-end movie was not a hit and sank practically without a trace.

It did sort of bring his career full-circle in a weird way, though, as he shared scenes with Jim Backus, who'd been on Gilligan's Island back when he helped Zsa Zsa escape from there!

Unfortunately, it was not long until the wheels began to come off. Witney's acting career was over by 1981. Twiggy rejoined her old costar from The Boyfriend and headed to Broadway in My One and Only in 1983. Then, to celebrate Carly's upcoming 5th birthday, her father took her to McDonald's. There in front of her he suffered a fatal heart attack! He was 52. Twiggy was informed of the situation when she came off stage that night.

Despite the shock and pain of Witney's sudden death, in time Twiggy was able to forge on. In 1988, while working on the movie Madame Sousatzka, she met actor Leigh Lawson (of Brother Sun, Sister Moon, 1972.) They were soon wed and with his young son from a prior marriage, a blended family was formed. (Trivia Tidbit: The couple were friends with Fran Drescher and her interactions with them and their children led to the idea for The Nanny. Leigh and Twiggy Lawson even appeared on the show in 1994.)

Still happily together at 74 and 78, they were able to celebrate when little Twiggy Hornby, long an acting, singing, modeling veteran was made a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire. The dame-hood was bestowed upon her for her contributions to fashion, the arts and her extensive charity work. The fashion industry owed her family something of a debt due to a little-known incident. Her great-great grandmother, Grace Gilles, had been crushed in a stampede in 1897 when the British store Messrs McIlroy opened their doors at 8:00am for a massive clearance sale. Barely surviving the weight of the crowd pressing against her, she promptly died of a heart attack. Which brings us to...

The End!

Or is it? Well, yes, it is, but I did want to take a brief moment to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas or any other holiday you may be celebrating (or perhaps it's enough to just be off work for some of you. I know I can't wait for my four days in a row!) I greatly appreciate the many readers who visit here, some of who leave such terrific comments with added info and/or their own reflections of the lunatic things I write about here. I won't be putting anything else up until well after Christmas, so I give you my best regards now. It's a special holiday in my own home because it's the first time that I've been able to place ALL FOUR Golden Girls on The Legendary Hollywood Tree. Ha ha! Dorothy just came out this year and could hang with the other homegirls at last...