No, not Teletubbies... more like Telechubbies, if anything! Ha ha! In my rare moments of free time (one PTO day used since December of 2019, if that means anything!), I've been decompressing with a variety of vintage TV, much of it thanks to apps like Crackle and Tubi, and some of it shared here in recent months. The brief collection of snaps I'm sharing today are disparate and not part of a larger post, but they do deserve our attention nonetheless. These are some bulge shots I have come across while watching the tube. You may or may not have to adjust your set. (See what I did there?)
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Our coverboy and first instance is one Chuck Connors during his follow-up series to The Rifleman called Branded. First broadcast in black & white before switching to color, it's rare to find prints at this time that are not aged and blurry, hence the poor quality of the pics. But you can still make out Chuck Jr.
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Branded was a sort of riff on The Fugitive (low-profile drifter, always in a new place and encountering trouble) and had many neat guest stars along the way. It would be awesome to see a restored version of the show at some point.
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Never in my life did I ever see any of the controversial hit sitcom Soap until just a few months ago. Though he isn't my usual sort of man, I couldn't help but take notice of the 1970s bluejeans sported by Ted Wass.
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This example from season two gives you the "impression" I'm referring to...
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Another sitcom I never, but never, saw in my life until very recently was That's My Mama, starring Clifton Davis. I was mostly familiar with Davis from his charming appearances on Match Game.
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Davis plays a bachelor living with his sassy mother (Theresa Merritt) while working in his late father's barber shop.
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Much of season one had him wearing a barber's smock, but season two seemed to herald "the unveiling" (!) as he wore more revealing clothing.
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No meat shortage going on at this dinner table... ha ha!
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Sometimes Davis' crotch wound up with its very own closeup!
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It may startle you to know that every screencap I am providing from this series was taken from a single half-hour installment! That's quite a bit of bulge for one's buck.
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Lastly, is a show I watched religiously as a tyke, Police Woman. Even then I was a bit thunderstruck by the faded demins worn by the man at far left.
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Charles Dierkop could very often be counted on to sport the flimsiest and most distressed jeans imaginable, ones that showed virtually everything.
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And I don't see how he could possibly have been wearing anything beneath them.
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Gentlemen of that era can tell you that quite a few guys deliberately scuffed up the crotches of their jeans to get the fabric as worn down as possible. (You can spot a small tear in his at the "tip!") And many bought something called "Soft & Fade" which was geared towards losing the color and stiffness of new Levis. (Eventually they were sold pre-distressed.)
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Till next time!
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I'm old enough to remember singing along to the "Branded" theme song..."Stranded, stranded on a toilet bowl, what do you do when you're stranded, and you don't have a ROLL". Thanks man, you know I had to run off and watch me some Police Woman. Yowzah.
ReplyDeleteI tried to use the sandpaper trick one but it didn't work very well, I just ruined the jeans.
ReplyDeleteClifton Davis - I had a huge crush on him. He was on games shows and I seem to remember him in a speedo on some TV sports competition show (although that might be wishful thinking). He was on Circus of the Stars. He's had a huge career.
Another great post, Poseidon!
Ptolemy1, I was so bothered by my first episode of "Branded!" I don't like to see people unjustly accused and shunned for something they didn't do. I know it's the concept of the show (like "The Fugitive"), but it just gets to me somehow when the person can't just live... But the riff on the theme song is amusing. I LOVE TV theme songs and this one is neat as it tells the set-up for the show.
ReplyDeleteA, Davis did do what had to be one of the last "Battle of the Network Stars" in 1988! So you probably did see him trotting around in a Speedo. He still works and appears to have aged very well. Thanks!
I was a faithful “Rifleman” fan, but it was mostly the father/son relationship that fascinated me. It is still so rare to see such an uber macho character unabashedly stating his love for his son. Amazing how that “Branded” parody magically popped up in every elementary school in America.
ReplyDeleteNever did the scuffed crotch thing - wouldn’t have fooled anybody anyway.
Dan, I have always enjoyed the unabashed affection between Chuck and Johnny whenever I've tuned into "The Rifleman" as well. And I agree that it was/is rare (I have to figure "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" has it, too? I never watched that.)
ReplyDeleteI like your blog very much and always enjoy your posts. However and there is always a however......no one can uh hem measure up in any manner shape or form to John Smith in his western show.....the man was a tom of Finland drawing come to life....and good for him!!!
ReplyDeletedoppledecker, thanks, but this "Quickie" post was merely an addendum to the countless other bulge posts found here, many of which prominently feature Mr. Smith. This one, as an example, is bursting at the seams with him:
ReplyDeletehttps://neptsdepths.blogspot.com/2015/12/rustlin-up-more-bulges.html
Your Branded description,, "low-profile drifter, always in a new place and encountering trouble" should be on the DVD cover, a book cover, your autobiography. One of the best lines for generating interest. Love the double entendre.
ReplyDeleteHa ha! Thanks! I think you gave me more credit for the entendre than I even intended, but I'm a fan of them and try to insert one wherever possible when I can! 😉
ReplyDelete