Thursday, May 5, 2022

Howling About "Airwolf!"

Don't fret, my children. I'm not about to go into some dissertation on the merits of the series Airwolf, which ran from 1984-1986 (with a retooled Canadian rendition appearing in 1987.) I never once watched the hardware-heavy action series in its initial run and really am not tremendously interested in it now apart from seeing the occasional name guest star (Diane McBain, John Ericson and Leann Hunley, to name a few.)

This post will focus squarely on one aspect of the show which some of you may find compelling. In the last (nearly) 13 years of this blog, I've received e-mails from various readers on a wide berth of topics. But the one that stands out, so to speak, from the rest in terms of frequency is the physicality of one Jan-Michael Vincent in Airwolf. The actor, having played youthful leads on TV and in quite a few movies, was now forty and apparently had decided to ditch anything so annoying as underwear for the filming of the show! This being the 1980s, the pinnacle of tight jeans and clingy pants, he kept the airbrushers busy when it came to publicity photos like this one!

However, in un-retouched shots like the one at left, every little curvature and tumescence could be detected. And, this being the days prior to digital manipulation on screen, whatever was captured by the television cameras was what then hit the airwaves, unless the series' editors could somehow snip certain moments out and still have a cohesive flow to the story lines. (As you'll see, though they did make some obvious cutaways here and there, mostly they proceeded to let it all hang out... literally!)

Vincent had costarred in movies like The Undefeated (1969), with John Wayne, and The Mechanic (1972), with Charles Bronson. He'd also shown off a wiry, tight physique in many projects from The World's Greatest Athlete (1973) and the surfing flick Big Wednesday (1978.) In 1974's Buster and Billie, he gave his fans a start when he appeared frontally nude. It's quite a natural, frolicsome moment, but strangely enough we'd see even more, in a way, on Airwolf! Stay tuned...

Vincent had starred in Damnation Alley (1977) and costarred with Burt Reynolds in Hooper (1978), but a dependence on alcohol and cocaine (and beyond) had begun to cause issues for him by the early-1980s. He had a featured role in the gargantuan miniseries The Winds of War, but his performance opposite a truly dreadful Ali MacGraw was difficult to salvage in the editing room thanks to substance abuse. Nevertheless, he soon found himself starring in the grueling weekly series Airwolf!

Even this simple moment of him arising, putting on a sweater and coming downstairs to greet costar Ernest Borgnine, gives an indic(k)ation that this was not going to be your everyday presentation of an actor on TV. (As we go along, don't forget to click to engorge enlarge.)

There was no way to properly capture this fleeting moment of Vincent in his flight suit, almost posing for the camera with a "semi." But never fear. There's more to come. I will be attempting to work my way "up" from the less "pressing" examples to the most eye-popping of all...


Throughout the series' run, he's religiously "dressed right."

He's on display whether in loose pants...

...snug ones...

...or white ones.

Stiff, brand-new jeans might obscure some of the specifics, but were unable to stop the bulge.

Long walks towards the camera seemed to be a hallmark of the show's direction and often offered some incredible sights.

The plot lines of the show often seemed to be pretty stimulating to its leading man.


In this episode Vincent was showing in some loose cargo pants...

...But later turned up half-drowned in some wet jeans.

This led to a scene of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, though I hesitate to wonder whether he had alcohol on his breath that day?

Occasionally there would be a close-up.

And sometimes, as in this case with Christopher Stone, a guest star would make his own contribution to the cause...!

Generally, though, the special effects were left to Vincent to provide. Are you skeptical? Think I've already made too much of this? Keep hangin' in before you decide.

I've touched on (heh heh) the new, constricting blue jeans. What about a pair that's been distressed (probably deliberately)?




I'm gonna give my vote to the "Soft 'n Fade' style, myself!

There's also "the cowboy way." Now this angle isn't all that bronco-busting...

...but how 'bout this?!

This scene is probably THE most talked about one of all. I bet that no viewer on the night that this aired even noticed that a female was also in the sequence! LOL


"Impressive...!" In more than one way.





You know what, though? As eye-popping as this incident was, I swear I think I found one even more amazing....! Are we supposed to believe that no one on set took notice of this stuff, er junk, er....

He casually meanders through this scene with an obvious BONER. Did the ratings go up that night?!


He keeps coming towards the camera and it's just plain unbelievable. I have spent all of my adult life avoiding drugs, so I can't claim to be in the know. However... The one time I inadvertently found myself with someone on coke, he could not achieve an erection. And I've never known excessive alcohol to help on that score either. So I don't know what was happening here.

I almost didn't do this post because, on some level, Mr. Vincent was not exactly firing on all cylinders and I didn't want to exploit that. But he was still a working actor and actually continued to be until 2002 when his string of issues and accidents finally led to permanent retirement. It's very sad since at the time Airwolf was put together, he was the highest-paid actor on television (at $200,000/episode) and could have had it all. Such a job is taxing on a person who's at the top of his game. I can't imagine what it was like with the added strain of addiction. Mr. Vincent passed away of cardiac arrest in 2019 at age 74. By that time he'd endured quite a bit of personal deterioration and legal squalor (as well as an amputation, due to infection.) So while we do salute his contribution to bulge-watching, we can't help but feel pangs of sadness for him and whatever it was that led him to such excesses.

The (Front) End!

15 comments:

  1. UPS must have been by, ‘cause somebody gotta package!
    I remember that glorious moment in “Buster and Billie” fondly. He also did a TV movie “Tribes” with Darren McGavin that made quite an impression. Funny, though, he was one of those very good looking guys who never quite “did it” for me. A personality thing, maybe?
    What a tragic, wasteful end he had. Addiction is a dreadful thing.

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  2. TUBI plays the movie Chop Suey, it includes the clip of the B&B skinny dipping scene. It's nice to see (over and over), he was a beauty.

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  3. Airwoof! He wasnt all the really, but the bulges would have had me wagging my tongue had I seen it back in the day. There was a scene in Downton Abbey where Allen Leech bulged in a suit and I went apeshit. Mostly I'm not that focussed. But I agree, it had to be so obvious on the set of Airwolf.

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  4. I always thought J-M Vincent was a beautiful man and decent actor. Always wonder what set him off on the path addiction.

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  5. Perfectly even coverage here Poseidon. I am also not into exploiting addiction, it seems to happen in the news even now. That poor guy, but the boner thing is really interesting. Having done lots of field work I can also attest that substances don't equal erections and yet he obviously has something going on most of the time. Besides the crotch the other thing that struck me was the way he is styled to look very "Top Gun" there were even mall stores called Top Gun that sold those kinds of clothing, one locally which just recently closed! I remember seeing him as a kid in "The Mechanic" with Charles Bronson and he was never my type, he was also considered difficult I think. But there is no denying he was a huge star, and your pictures prove it

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  6. So awesome. The scene where blindfold girl is being leg through the desert is "Moffet's Ghost". Can you tell me the episode where he's meandering with the landscaper? Thanks so much for this!!!

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  7. A clear, full-frontal framecap from BUSTER AND BILLIE was published in PLAYBOY-- no, not PLAYGIRL-- back in late 1974.

    They did annual "Sex Scenes of 19__" and "Sex Stars of 19__" articles in NOv. and Dec. (although I can't remember which this ran in), and while the focus was of course primarily on female flesh, by the early '70s they were starting to include at least one frontal exposure on a male star.

    That view of JMV got wide exposure through its original publication-- IIIRC, they were selling about a million copies at that point-- and was reprinted in many sources afterwards. Unfortunately, it spawned a lot of talk about JMV not being very well-endowed, which persisted for years.

    (I can't remember the source or the context, but I recall a gay magazine later sneering over a modestly-endowed flaccid model, "And you thought Jan-Michael Vincent was cursed...")

    IIRC, JMV addressed it once at the time by pointing out they were doing a skinny-dipping scene and the water was cold, so he had shrinkage. So I wouldn't be surprised if he later decided to combat that reputation by "going commando" and flaunting a fluffed cock inside his pants.

    (Or maybe he just got into a crotch-flaunting competition with Fred Dryer, who was over on NBC displaying his basket on HUNTER.)

    I just wish JMV (and Dryer!) had gone full-frontal for PLAYGIRL around that time instead. By that point, they were printing occasional erections and most of the frontals had obvious engorgement if not full liftoff.


    Anyway, thanks for capturing these shots! I watched AIRWOLF a few times in its first season, but never noticed this somehow, so this was a revelation.

    Keep up the great work! Love to everyone and be well and safe!

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  8. Dan, I agree with you on all counts. It's odd because he was a star in some things aimed at teens, but he was already in his mid-20s by the time of them...! I think he was 23 for his very first gigs in 1967. His jungle boy thing came 6 years after that...! I run at the first sign of any substance addiction issues. I endured a horrible experience with a loved one back in 1988 and that was enough for me. :-(

    lou lou, I recently revisited the movie itself (after looking at "Chop Suey," thanks to you) and was amazed at the difference in video quality. I'd only ever seen the thing (some time ago) in a hideously blurry print. If you're game, check it out here. He's pretty dazzling:
    https://ok.ru/video/2989891127835 (The one hour, six minute mark.)

    Shawny, I've never seen more than 10 seconds of "Downton Abbey" though so many people have told me I would love it. I was too late in catching it and just never went back. I almost titled this post "Airwoof!" LOL

    Rick, I've wondered that, too. You think someone has everything. But we see it over and over and OVER that success and fame don't cure what ails us. In some cases can make things even worse. :-(

    Gingerguy, I saw the movie "Top Gun" one time, shortly after its release, and never since! LOL I know it has some celebrated imagery, but I never could understand TC's appeal. Interesting that you spotted the clothing similarities (and apres po for this flight-oriented series!)

    Ptolemy1, only for you would I go back hunting for such a thing. LOL I have discovered that it's from Season 2, Episode 20 "Severance Pay."

    hsc, I could go on and on for days. With the proliferation of adult images online, porn or otherwise, we see more unusually-large penises than we do more proportionate ones. And I think many men, whether they wish to admit it or not, become sheepish at the comparison. They don't always realize that very often the nude men in porn are very small PEOPLE, so what they have looks even bigger in proportion. I am in no way a size queen and I think my site usually reflects that stance, but sometimes someone comes along who is just really standing out and I might mention that. LOL You can count me among those who had seen that unclear snap of JMV (and all the hair) and misconstrued his size, but when seeing the scene clearly and considering the setting (and the context of it being a mainstream movie, not one in which he'd be at half mast or more!), he's *at least* average. He certainly wasn't "cursed." That's just rude. But anyway... Yes, it would have been awesome if he'd gone for a magazine layout a la Christopher George, George Maharis, etc... And, in line with what I just said about porn models, JMV was PAINFULLY THIN by the time of "Airwolf" so again, he looked even more eye-popping in comparison to his ultra-lean build. Thanks much!

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  9. I will say, going commando does make your parts a little sensitive. There's nothing to hold it in one place, so if you are a virile guy, you might be prone to some sensation down there. All it takes is a shift or two and it can ignite something. I don't like commando myself, but have done it a few times, and learned the hard way not to do it. If JMV is at full attention, I think it wouldn't stay against his leg, but would be trying to point forward, so I don't think he's at 100%. Oh jeez, I could go on all day.

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  10. YAYYYYYYY Poseidon! You're awesome!

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  11. Poseidon, I agree that the comments about JMV were rude and actually uncalled-for, but I did hear them at the time the frontal was published in PLAYBOY, and from a number of sources, both in print and what I heard people saying.

    It certainly wasn't intended as a disparaging remark against JMV-- and I suppose I should've been clearer-- but as a possible reason for the amount of bulging crotch-flaunting he was doing later on in the AIRWOLF scenes you framecapped.

    Unfortunately, men do tend to be "competitive" as well as self-conscious, so there's always a certain level of "take-down" directed at other males, particularly at male celebs like movie stars, musicians and sports figures. It's a shame, and that sort of response probably kept more male celebs from going full-frontal in PLAYGIRL (full-frontal celeb nudes largely dried up after that) and in movies.

    And the celebs themselves can be disparaging. I know that actor Don Stroud complained for years about the way he appeared in his Nov. 1973 PLAYGIRL layout; in a 2003 interview I have, he claimed that he was much larger than it appeared in the magazine, and "it pissed me off" that they chose photos that made it look smaller.

    Burt Reynolds once said in an interview that he and photographer Francesco Scavullo wanted to go full-frontal for the ground-breaking COSMOPOLITAN centerfold, but publisher Helen Gurley Brown vetoed it-- and he realized later it was much better to have left something to the imagination.

    -----

    And BTW, I checked, and I had incorrectly estimated the paid circulation of PLAYBOY at that point as about 1 million per issue.

    I don't have the exact figures for Nov. and Dec. 1974, but based on figures from before and immediately after, they were selling close to *6* million copies per issue at that time, and the magazine was being purchased by roughly 25% of all college men. (And keep in mind that's *paid circulation*, not taking into account the number of people who just looked at someone else's copy.)

    So that BUSTER AND BILLIE framecap-- which may also have been the first male star full-frontal nudity in that feature-- would've have been seen by quite a few men (and women). Ironically, probably more saw the framecap than the film itself, at least until it hit VHS.

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  12. Dear Mr Poseidon,

    While on the topic of Bulges, I recently had the good fortune to finally rewatch The Fantastic Journey, which i hadn't seen since it was first aired when I was 10. As you have mentioned in the past, there were only 10 episodes before it was cancelled but almost every episode had bulges galore. The future seemed to have only skin tight onesies for men! LOL If you haven't seen them, I think you might enjoy them. :-) They are all available on Crackle.

    Thank you for your amazing and entertaining blog!

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  13. Shawny, I think you may be underestimating the extreme tightness of '80s jeans! Nothing could point forward in those. (I used to make a joke, which I would be canceled for now - may still be! - that in order to get my jeans on, two Korean children had to stand on my stomach while I zipped them up!) When I see JMV at attention yet sideways, I figure it's like that foam insulation people spray into their walls and rafters. It's going the only place it can! ha ha ha!!

    hsc, I surely hope you didn't think I was aiming my reaction of "rude" towards you in any way! I meant that at the detractors who felt the need to make judgements about him. I know better after 40 years at the Y when someone comes out of the pool, slinks out of his Speedo and basically has 3 balls. Then in the shower things, er, develop! HA! And, yes, Don was bent at the waist if I recall it right, which didn't give him a fair angle at all. But he should have posed for some more in Viva or Venus or the like (we wish!) to prove otherwise. ;-) Thanks much.

    wahgie, I have never been to Crackle at all, but that sounds like reason enough to land there...! I will have to try to get on that. Thanks!!

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  14. Natürlich ist mir das auch aufgefallen, das JMV in Airwolf öfters eine Beule hatte in engen Jeans! Ist doch nicht schlimm! Naja war schon ein schöner Anblick, bin ja auch nur eine Frau, die sowas auch schon gern sieht! Er war ein sehr hübscher Mann und sexy! Und seine blauen Augen waren umwerfend!

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  15. For those interested - Translation: "Of course I also noticed that JMV often had a bulge in tight jeans in Airwolf! It's not that bad! Well, it was a nice sight, I'm just a woman who likes to see something like that! He was a very handsome man and sexy! And his blue eyes were stunning!"

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