Here in The Underworld, we periodically
revisit certain revealing photographic subjects including today's:
Actors taking a bath. We've gone down the drain on this before here
and here, but there is always room for some more bubbles, right? Our
cover boy today is Rock Hudson, enjoying a chat with an unseen Doris
Day in Pillow Talk (1959.)
We go way back in time for our first
shot (and it's not particularly scintillating, but we tend to be
completests here!) This is James Finlayson in a 1927 short called Do
Detectives Think? The bather, a judge, is being stalked by Noah
Young, who'd been sentenced to prison and the bumbling detectives of
the title were portrayed by none other than Laurel & Hardy.
We dart forward to 1943 for In Old
Oklahoma and find a pair of gents taking baths in a setup not unlike
the famous Rock & Doris motif from Pillow Talk! Here, it is John
Wayne and Albert Dekker (who, in the film, are vying for the
affection of Martha Scott.) Dekker, who I have discovered was quite a
dynamic actor, is probably best remembered for the mysterious and
lewd way in which he died!
1946's Night in Paradise is a lavish
period spectacle and has King Croesus (Thomas Gomez) partaking in a
splendidly-appointed bath.
Check out the pointy device he's
exfoliating with! No wonder the man seems cranky...
Another western, 1949's Massacre River,
finds hunky Rory Calhoun enjoying a bath in a barrel. This obscure
film we've yet to see is surely worth the 78-minute run-time since it
also stars Guy Madison! (If you believe the gossip, these two Henry
Willson clients even had a sexual relationship, which might make
sitting through the movie more engrossing.)
In 1950's Guilty of Treason, the story
of an imprisoned Hungarian Cardinal was seen through the eyes of
reporter Paul Kelly, seen here taking an interrupted bath.
On a lighter note is this shot of
handsome Dale Robertson washing up for Betty Grable in The Farmer
Takes a Wife (1953.)
The Robert Taylor period film Quentin
Durward (1955) had him soaking in a tub and getting his back scrubbed
by a pal in between palace intrigue.
Dale Robertson was found in the tub again in
1956's Dakota Incident, though this time it was a horse trough! Movie
baths are frequently interrupted by visitors which, in this case, are
played by Regis Toomey and Linda Darnell.
Don Murray appears to take a very
splish-splashy bath in 1956's Bus Stop, though this still is
understandably sedate in comparison to the actual scene. (Note the
puddle of water on the floor, though!)
As we see here, he was actually sitting
in the tub with the shower on!
He's having fun, but he isn't the one
who has to clean up the mess...
...as seen here, he's ready to kick up
his heels for a night on the town (with Marilyn Monroe no less!)
1957 brought the western Joe Dakota
with Jock Mahoney taking one of the ever-popular horse trough baths.
(Pity the horses who tried to take a drink afterwards!)
Don Taylor has it rough in 1957's Love
Slaves of the Amazons... Who knew that the fabled Amazonians were
this haggy looking?!
Underworld fave Clint Walker of
Cheyenne (1955-1963) takes advantage of a hotel bath.
Though released in 1958, The Big Money,
starring Ian Carmichael, was filmed several years prior. He played a
thief trying to live high off some stolen counterfeit money.
The unsuccessful film did at least
offer this moment of the star enjoying a very luxurious bath.
A 1958 episode of Wagon Train finds
gambler Cesar Romero overseen in his bath by Virginia Grey, who is in
love with him. (In the story, he is instead smitten by Diane
Brewster, but for plot reasons pretends to be married to Grey.)
Here we have Alan Hale Jr. (Skipper of
Gilligan's Island) trying out a new type of water heating apparatus.
And this is 1950s leading man Victor
Mature scrunched into a rather tiny claw-foot tub for his bath in a
publicity photo.
A lathered-up Glenn Ford has his pistol
drawn in 1958's Cowboy, which costarred Jack Lemmon.
In 1959's The Mating Game (which
starred Debbie Reynolds and Tony Randall), Philip Ober recovers from
an exasperating run-in with Reynolds by taking a bath.
He doesn't relax at all, however, but
constantly vents to his attorney and friend about how best to resolve
a dispute with Reynolds' family.
1960's The 3rd Voice stars
Edmond O'Brien as a man impersonating a wealthy business tycoon in
order to siphon funds for himself and Laraine Day.
Marines, Let's Go (1961) focused on a
group of soldiers on leave in Japan just prior to the start of The
Korean War. Here, Tom Reese takes a bath and is attended to by a
pretty helpmate.
Now this next star is hung like a
horse! How do I know? Because it's Mr. Ed, of course! Ha! In the 1964
episode of Mr. Ed, the title beast visited Mae West and was given a
good scrubbing by a couple of her ever-present musclemen.
The VERY obscure 1965 exploitation
drama All Men Are Apes! featured this hirsute gentleman taking a
bath, though he isn't necessarily the ape of the title. The leading
lady, so to speak, is a stripper who winds up working in an act with
a real ape as her sidekick.
The Cincinnati Kid (1965) found Steve
McQueen in the bathtub, overseen by one of his love interests,
Tuesday Weld.
Cary Grant's final film, Walk Don't Run
(1966) had him staying in Japan for the 1964 Summer Olympics and
being washed off by an attractive friend!
In 1967's Poor Cow, ne-er do well
Terence Stamp has his back washed by Carol White, who has the
misfortune of being heavily involved with him.
There Was a Crooked Man (1970) gave us
side-by-side barrel baths with veteran stars Henry Fonda and Kirk
Douglas. Douglas even appeared momentarily nude from behind in the
film.
Also taking a barrel bath in the movie
was young actor Michael Blodgett, who you might recall from that same
year's Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.
Billy Wilder directed the heavily
tampered-with 1970 film The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, which had
the title character (played by Robert Stephens) bathing in a rather
diminutive tub as Colin Blakely looks on.
Bloody Mama (1970) was a wild and
woolly account of fabled criminal mastermind Ma Barker (played by
Shelley Winters) who may have actually been perfectly harmless in
real life. In the movie, she takes pleasure in personally bathing
each of her four boys. If your TV is large enough and clear enough,
you can see frontal nudity by Robert DeNiro and Clint Kimbrough in
some frames.
You may not recognize this sudsy
fellow, who is best known for his work as a child.
That's Butch Patrick, who played little
Eddie Munster on The Munsters (1964-1966) and later Lidsville (1971.)
One of our loyal readers suggested the
need for some Leonard Nimoy from the 1971 Yul Brynner film Catlow.
Having checked this out ourselves, we
couldn't agree more, so here he is!
In an uncharacteristically
skin-revealing moment for the show, we see Richard “John-Boy”
Thomas taking a bath in this installment of The Waltons.
Football hero-turned-action star Fred
Williamson, like several men in this post, has some help in his bath,
this time in Hong Kong, during That Man Bolt (1973.)
James Caan, always good for some hairy
chest action, takes a bath in The Gambler (1974), about a literature
professor who has an addiction to any type of bet or game.
Also in 1974 came the outrageous smash
Mel Brooks comedy Blazing Saddles. In it, Harvey Korman (as Hedley,
not Hedy, Lamarr) took a bubble bath with the assistance of cowhand
Slim Pickens. When Korman's toy frog went missing, Pickens made a
grab for the wrong reptile under the suds!
1975's Bite the Bullet found Gene
Hackman and James Coburn in side-by-side tubs.
A color still from the same scene
reveals the skimpy brown briefs that each gent was wearing under the
surface of the cloudy water.
Also in 1975 was the sci-fi flick A Boy
and His Dog, starring Don Johnson. He is given a rough-and-ready bath
by a group of strange underground citizens.
He's lucky to escape with his life
during the violent scrub down he receives.
They want him nice and clean since he's
been procured for the express purpose of impregnating the young
ladies of this otherwise sterile civilization.
I Will... I Will... For Now (1976)
observed estranged married couple Diane Keaton and Elliott Gould
attempting to reinvigorate their relationship at a sex clinic!
Presumably part of the therapy is bathing together.
Marlon Brando has his bubble bath
interrupted by an angry Jack Nicholson in the 1976 western The
Missouri Breaks.
The oddball performance that Brando
delivered (his first in four years) made many a critic and fan
scratch his head.
This is actor Alex Cord (of Stagecoach,
1966, and The Brotherhood, 1968, as well as Airwolf, 1984-1986)
enjoying a soak at a mineral springs spa.
In 1980 and '81, David Bowie portrayed
the title figure in Broadway's “The Elephant Man.”
(Later this year, Bradley Cooper has
plans to perform the role on Broadway in a limited run as well.)
Certainly one memorable cinema bathtub
came courtesy of Al Pacino's Scarface (1983.) You'd have to decide
pretty far in advance that you wanted this tub filled up!
It even comes with a statuary water
feature, as shown here. Probably only the evil Francis from Pee Wee's
Big Adventure (1985) possessed a bigger tub!
Lord help save us from Lorenzo Lamas'
headband in this publicity shot that could only have happened in the
1980s.
Brad Pitt shares a bath with Catherine
Keener and his own towering hairdo in 1991's Johnny Suede, about a
Ricky Nelson-obsessed musician.
Mullet-haired songster Michael Bolton (whose holiday Honda commercials drove many of my friends to the brink of insanity) enjoys a candlelit bath in this promotional photo.
1992's Mr. Baseball had New York
Yankees player Tom Selleck traded to a Japanese team where he
experiences culture shock. (I have no idea why so many of today's
photos feature Asian women giving baths. It certainly wasn't
intentional!)
Rick Schroder isn't in a bathtub in this shot from the TV-movie Texas (1994), but he is soaping up nonetheless.
Here we find a young Russell Crowe (in
an unidentified movie) multitasking a phone call, a beer, a cigar and
a bath all at once!
The 1999 comedy Lost & Found had
non-threatening dognapper David Spade taking a bath with his captive.
The straight-to-video chiller Voodoo
Academy (2000) has a variety of young men either bathing or clad only
in towels.
Perhaps their looks help some hapless viewers get through
the cheaply-made piece of schlock?
Also released in 2000 was Shanghai Noon
with Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan as heroes of the old west. In one
scene, they take side-by-side baths and partake in a drinking game.
Before the game has concluded, they've
somehow wound up in the same tub, discovered by Kate Luyben!
Current heartthrob (to someone out
there) Robert Pattinson took a bath in The Haunted Airman (2006),
about a WWII pilot who suffers spinal injuries and recovers at a
clinic run by Julian Sands.
And with that we pull the plug on this
subject for now... Neil Patrick Harris, Colin Firth and I bid you cheers and adieu!
